


Heart of Gold

by hotelcortez



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Accidents, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hwang Hyunjin & Kim Seungmin are Best Friends, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, a typical bad boy au, hyunlix because i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 49,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22772260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotelcortez/pseuds/hotelcortez
Summary: Felix is the mysterious new kid hiding behind dark eyes and a leather jacket.Hyunjin is the loving friend with just a small habit of wanting to help a little too much.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix
Comments: 258
Kudos: 434





	1. Curiosity on his Mind

**Author's Note:**

> *EDIT: considering the news that has come out about woojin, i will not be supporting or writing him anymore. as far as i can tell i have managed to edit him completely out this story. if i have missed anything, please let me know*
> 
> hello!! welcome to my new story <33
> 
> I'm back with another chaptered fic! I've honestly missed writing these so much so I couldn't resist. I've also never written Hyunlix before (it's a crime, I know) so I thought this was the perfect time. I've had this idea bouncing around my head ever since Felix dyed his hair red and I'm very excited.
> 
> hope you enjoy!!

The new kid was a sharp, tan boy with a thick black jacket and striking red hair.

There was a ring through his nose, dark eyeshadow standing out against his eyelids, faint glitter on his cheeks and sharp features sitting on his face that Hyunjin was instantly mesmerised by. His nose was somehow both round and protruding, eyes deep and plump lips curled into a shy smile that somehow managed to stand out despite all the other distinct features the boy seemed to have.

He didn’t seem like the usual type to have a shy smile. He seemed like the type of kid that would show up late to class with cigarettes on their breath, the type of kid that would slam their locker shut and snarl at anyone that got in their way, the type of kid that would never care about anyone in the world.

But this boy seemed different.

Hyunjin couldn’t put his finger on it, but something about the boy seemed nice, something about him seemed inviting, something just seemed… harmless.

And that said a lot when it came to Hyunjin. Being forced to grow up quickly and around people he didn’t love had made him incredible at reading body language. He’d learnt to tell really quickly who he should just be polite to and who he should instantly throw himself into the arms to and love forever.

There were only a few people Hyunjin had met who he’d instantly snuggled up to and never let go. Chan was one of the first, Hyunjin's young uncle who'd adopted him when things had started to go wrong with Hyunjin's mother (Chan's sister). Chan had become Hyunjin's adopted parent mid-childhood and Hyunjin hadn't let go since.

This was pretty quickly followed by the other boys Hyunjin had met in the neighbourhood; a young and feisty Minho who lived next door with his parents and three cats, a hyperactive Changbin who lived across the street, and a shy Seungmin who lived next to Changbin. Hyunjin had met them all and instantly fallen in love, deciding he enjoyed their presence and wanted to stay with them forever, and he hadn’t been wrong.

Hyunjin also hadn’t been wrong about the ones who came next when they all tottered off together to the local school; Jeongin was a little lost boy Hyunjin had taken under his wing and Jisung was quite the character who Hyunjin fought a lot with at first, but still loved all the same.

And Hyunjin didn’t think he was wrong about this boy either. So, he kept staring at him, trying to commit all his beautiful features to memory as he promptly ignored all the weird looks he could feel Seungmin giving him from the side.

It wasn’t that Seungmin would ever judge the new boy for his appearance. For the time Chan had raised him, Hyunjin had made sure to never befriend anyone judgemental or negative towards anyone. But Seungmin obviously wasn’t expecting Hyunjin to be so fascinated straight away, especially since Hyunjin wore his heart on his sleeve; he was excellent at reading emotions, but terrible at hiding his own, which meant he had no hope of hiding how absolutely curious he was about the boy shuffling his feet at the front of the class.

Hyunjin’s eyebrows only raised further when the boy, _Felix_ , introduced himself to everyone with a voice as deep as the ocean, a familiar accent lilting his words that even Seungmin perked up at.

Having an Australian father meant Hyunjin and all the others had become familiar with the place, and they could spot an Aussie accent from a mile away, especially one as strong as Felix’s.

But there was something else about Felix’s voice, something guarded. The shy smile had dropped and been replaced by a neutral expression, almost like Felix had suddenly remembered what he was supposed to look like, what part he was supposed to be playing. It made Hyunjin’s eyebrows crinkle in confusion, was Felix hiding? Was he not really who he came across as?

Hyunjin thought about it all through the class, not paying attention to the teacher as he resisted the urge to turn around and look at where Felix had been seated at the back of the room.

Seungmin kept nudging him, but Hyunjin ignored it, deciding it would be worth it to beg him for the notes later instead of bothering to try and take some when he was too focused on Felix. The boy’s red hair and sharp eyes kept playing through Hyunjin’s mind, neither of them seeming to match how the boy smiled as Hyunjin chewed on the end of his pencil.

The bell jolted Hyunjin out of his thoughts just under an hour later, making him jump so much he was still recovering when Felix had left the room, leaving Hyunjin with no time to talk to him and Seungmin levelling angry glares into Hyunjin’s face.

“Did you even listen to a word the teacher said?” Seungmin said, throwing his bag over his shoulder and folding his arms as he waited for Hyunjin to pack up.

“No, but did you _h_ ear new kid’s voice?” Hyunjin said, ignoring the eye roll he got from Seungmin in response, “It was so deep! And his accent, it’s just like Chan-hyung’s!”

“Yes, and I’m sure Chan-hyung would love to hear about how you ignored an entire class because of it,” Seungmin said, a deadpan look on his face that Hyunjin couldn’t help but grin at, not missing the way Seungmin’s eyes twinkled slightly in fondness.

“Hyunjinnie, I know you like to know about people quickly and get attached to them, but isn’t this a little too much?” Seungmin continued, taking Hyunjin’s hand as they left the classroom together, heading for the canteen, “You’ve literally seen Felix for like 10 seconds, and you only know his name.”

“But he’s _cuuute_ ,” Hyunjin whined, “And his voice doesn’t match his face and his face doesn’t match his look and his look doesn’t match his smile. Come on, Minnie! You know I love a mystery.”

“Yes, I know that too well,” Seungmin grumbled, not looking at Hyunjin as he led them through the weaves of students, Hyunjin probably trying a little too hard to spot Felix, “I realised that when you managed to figure out the entire birthday surprise we made for you at your house, and when you discovered where Jeongin was hiding all the snacks Chan-hyung bought us, and when-”

“Okay, I get it!” Hyunjin cut in, ignoring the laugh he got from Seungmin in response, “At least now the mystery doesn’t involve any of you, I won’t be annoying you all with it this time.”

“No, you’ll just be a danger to the entire public instead,” Seungmin said as they finally made it to the door of the canteen, squeezing their way past all the students blocking the way as Hyunjin shot Seungmin a glare, ignoring the snort he got from him as they both made their way over to their usual table.

Jisung was already sat down, wedged happily between Haechan and Yangyang as they all joked across from a disgruntled Ryujin and a laughing Chaeryeong and Yuna, Jeongin next to them waving Hyunjin and Seungmin over as they crossed the room.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but smile at the sight, forgetting all about Felix as he went to sit with everyone. As much as he loved all his neighbours and old classmates, Hyunjin had worried at first that they’d end up being his only friends in high school and that they’d all get a little _too_ sick of each other. But they’d all been lucky in finding their own friends and bringing everyone together to form a giant group of people who all loved each other, old friends or not. And that included the ones who’d all graduated to the local university; Changbin and Minho, and Chaeryeong’s older sister Chaeyeon, and a few others like Mark, Lucas and Yeji.

It was an amazing group of people to be surrounded by, even if Hyunjin’s mind couldn’t help but stray to Felix. Would Felix fit in with them? Would he scream-laugh with Jeongin and Chenle? Or would he be shyer and chat with Lia and Jaemin? Or would he be more of a leader like Jeno was?

Hyunjin was soon spacing out again, wondering exactly where Felix would fit in the complicated mess that was friendship. Could Felix and Hyunjin be friends? Had Felix noticed Hyunjin as much as Hyunjin had noticed him? Did he even know who Hyunjin or any of the others were?

Or, _more importantly_ , why was Hyunjin so obsessed with him?

The topic only got more prominent when Hyunjin was drawn out of his thoughts by the mention of Felix’s name, his ears pricking up as he tuned back into the conversation at the table.

“Yeah, Hyunjin was too busy staring at him to pay attention in class,” Seungmin shrugged casually, the entire table giggling as Hyunjin blushed as red as Felix’s hair, “Something about his voice that didn’t match his smile.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but hide his face in his hands as the entire table started giggling, Jisung reaching over to ruffle his hair, “Awww, does our Hyunjinnie think the new boy is cute?”

“He _is_ cute,” Hyunjin whined, voiced muffled by his palms, “But he’s also hot and he has that deep voice. How is that fair?”

“You’ve only known him for like 20 minutes, hyung,” Jeongin smiled and shook his head, “And I bet you’ve never even spoken to him.”

“Yeah,” Yuna cut in, eyes sparkling with her usual mischief, Chaeryeong giggling beside her, “Isn’t it a little early to be fan-boying?”

“I just said he’s cute,” Hyunjin grumbled, “The fact that I didn’t pay attention is class is nothing.”

“I’m sure Seungmin would disagree with that,” Jisung said, raising an amused eyebrow at the scoff Seungmin gave in return, “But if you’re that obsessed, maybe you should talk to him. I’m sure we’d all love to terrify the new boy by dragging him into our group.”

The entire table nodded at the words, smiling as Hyunjin only pouted, “His name is Felix, _not_ new boy,” he said, “And, besides, I don’t think that’ll happen. He seems like the type of kid to run in different circles to us.”

But even as Hyunjin said the words, he knew he didn’t believe them. Just because Felix wore dark clothes and had piercings in his face and a voice that could probably terrify a grown man, Hyunjin knew that didn’t mean he was a bad person. Felix could secretly be a fan of My Little Pony for all Hyunjin knew, and Hyunjin was reluctant to admit that he had seen something in Felix. He had seen something that suggested he really was the type of person Hyunjin wanted to be around.

And Hyunjin didn’t want to be around people unless they were loving, giggly and sweet.

“Hyunjin, don’t say that,” Hyunjin was brought back to the table by Seungmin’s frown, “You know better than to judge him, he could be really nice.”

“Yeah, I know,” Hyunjin sighed, Felix’s smile playing itself once more in his mind before he smiled and looked up, “I’ll see if I can find a time to introduce myself, get to know him a little bit.”

“Detective Hwang is back in business!” Chaeryeong chirped, Jeongin laughing at Hyunjin’s glare, “And this time his victim is not the birthday surprise, not the missing candy, but instead the mysterious new boy he can’t take his eyes off!”

“Hey!” Hyunjin said, ignoring the table bursting into laughter as he pouted again, “Felix isn’t a mystery, he’s just someone we all want to be friends with.”

“ _Suuuuuure_ ,” Haechan drawled, eyes twinkling with evil as he spoke, “We all know you’re intrigued by his bad boy image, Hyunjin. Don’t try to deny it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hyunjin said, pretending to hold his head high and turn away as Jisung smacked him in the shoulder, “I’m just the only one kind enough to care about him.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Jisung remarked, grinning as Hyunjin rolled his eyes, pretending to tune out of the conversation so he wouldn’t have to talk with them all anymore.

But only a few moments later, all of them were distracted by a huge crash sounding from the door of the canteen. Everyone whipped around, gasping when they saw Renjun standing a few feet from the doorway, arms folded in front of himself and his books scattered on the floor in front of him, staring in terror at… _Felix_.

The sight shocked them all. Renjun was not an easily scared kid, he was an extremely intelligent student with round glasses and books always in his arms and a short height that somehow made him appear as an easy target. But Renjun was feisty, he didn’t take any insults from anyone, and the entire school had a soft spot for him, vowing to help him protect himself should any bullies come anywhere near him.

Which is why Hyunjin could immediately see some people starting to stand up when they saw Felix stood across from Renjun, looking equally as surprised as he was, but his usual stone look still visible on his face. Hyunjin knew that look would get him in trouble if it continued to be directed at Renjun.

But then Felix surprised them all. A sheepish smile appeared on his face and he quickly swooped down to gather all the books in his arms, being careful with them and making sure they were all facing the right way with the pages in tact as he picked them all up. Renjun looked like he wanted to smile when Felix handed them back, Felix’s head bowed low and a faint blush on his cheeks.

Now that definitely didn’t fit the bad boy image.

“Sorry, about that,” Felix said, the entire canteen holding their breath as Felix shuffled his feet and looked at Renjun through his bangs, “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“No, it’s okay,” Renjun was quick to say, both his terrified and feisty face gone as he smiled at Felix, “I was reading and too distracted to see if there was anyone coming through the door, I shouldn’t have walked into you.”

Felix nodded shyly and the entire canteen went back to their lunches, breathing a sigh of relief as Renjun and Felix continued to chat, content that neither of them were going to hurt the other. Hyunjin even heard a couple of whispers about how surprised people were that Felix was being so nice, he would have firmly shut those whispers down if he wasn’t too busy forming a plan in his head. 

“Seungmin, we’re friends with Renjun, come on!” Hyunjin practically yelled, startling the whole table as he shot up and started piling up all his stuff, grabbing Seungmin’s hand to shake him.

“Hyunjin, what?” Seungmin said as he was pulled up, almost stumbling as Hyunjin tried to tug him away.

“We’re friends with Renjun, Renjun’s talking to Felix, if we go up and pretend to say hi to Renjun then we’ll have to be introduced to Felix as well,” Hyunjin said like it was obvious, yanking on Seungmin’s hand again as they strode across the canteen, “Come on, Seungmin, keep up!”

“This is so stupid,” Seungmin mumbled, but he fell into step beside Hyunjin all the same, walking closer to where Renjun and Felix were still chatting by the entrance. By the looks of things, they were discussing a book that Renjun was holding out between them, both of them gesturing as they spoke.

“Hey, Renjunnie!” Hyunjin called out once they were close enough, waving when Renjun turned to smile at him.

“Hey, Jinnie and Minnie,” Renjun said, tucking the book back into his chest as Hyunjin and Seungmin stopped beside him, Felix shuffling back slightly in discomfort, “How are you?”

“We’re good, just thought we’d say hi,” Hyunjin said, ignoring Seungmin’s quiet snort from beside him, “Is this a new friend?”

“Oh,” Renjun turned to Felix, nodding as he answered the question, “Yeah, I guess. This is Felix, we just met but he likes the same books I do so I guess we can be friends.”

Hyunjin didn’t fail to notice the slight panic that fell over Felix’s eyes at the word ‘friends’, the guarded expression quickly slipping back onto his face in a way that was definitely a little concerning.

“Well, any friend of Renjun is a friend of ours,” Hyunjin smiled as he continued, toning down his voice a little to come across a little friendlier to Felix, “Hi, I’m Hyunjin.”

“And I’m Seungmin,” Seungmin joined in, a smile flickering briefly over Felix’s face before it faded away.

“It’s nice to meet you both,” he said politely, looking uncomfortable as Renjun excused himself to go to the library, leaving Felix awkwardly stood with two people he’d only just met.

Hyunjin promptly jumped in to break the silence, “I think you’re in one of mine and Seungmin’s classes,” he said, “We heard you introduce yourself today and we couldn’t help but notice your accent.”

Felix visibly curled into himself, his fists clenching as he looked away, “Oh, sorry about that, I’m pretty new to Korean.”

“Please don’t apologise,” Seungmin jumped in before Hyunjin could, hating the idea of anyone putting themselves down even if he was still unsure about Felix, “Your Korean is great and we love your accent. Hyunjin got especially excited.”

“Yeah, I did,” Hyunjin grinned, eyes twinkling at the way Felix looked at him almost curiously, “My uncle’s Australian, so it was nice to hear such a familiar voice.”

“Really?” Felix was visibly more excited now, the tension disappearing off his shoulders as he spoke, “I’ve never met any other Korean-Australians before.”

“Oh, well I’m adopted so it’s just him, but hey if you ever wanted to talk to him that’d be amazing. We’re friends now so you’re welcome over at any time,” Hyunjin said with a smile, “And I know he’d be excited to know I’m friends with another Australian.”

“Oh,” Felix ducked away, Hyunjin feeling both himself and Seungmin frowning at the way Felix immediately began to look uncomfortable again at the idea of friends, “I probably… I probably won’t be able to make it over often, but that’s cool, I guess.”

“Whatever’s easiest for you,” Seungmin said as Felix nodded, still avoiding both their eyes, “We’ll still be seeing you in class all the time.”

“Yeah, if you ever need any extra notes to help you catch up then feel free to ask,” Hyunjin said, “It can’t be easy being new.”

“Yeah, will do, thanks,” Felix said in a way that suggested he wasn’t going to be taking that offer up anytime soon, “I really do appreciate that.”

Even if Felix was lying about taking their help, both Hyunjin and Seungmin could tell he was genuine in the way he thanked them and that he was really appreciative of their offer. He almost seemed surprised that someone would do that for him, that anyone would be nice to him in the new school.

It made Hyunjin’s chest hurt in the worst way, his heart breaking for whatever was going on in Felix’s head. It was clear that Felix was a much more complicated person than he appeared to be on the surface and Hyunjin wouldn’t be surprised if he’d faced constant judgement for that. It was understandable why he was nervous about the idea of making friends, Hyunjin just hoped he could help break down that barrier soon.

“Well, I need to go to the office to sort out a few things before the end of lunch,” Felix’s hesitant voice brought Hyunjin back into the conversation, his eyes nervously flitting up to them before dropping back to the floor, “I’ll see you later?”

Hyunjin hated the way Felix phrased it like a question, “Yeah, of course you will,” Hyunjin nodded vigorously, “Don’t be shy in talking to us, okay?”

“Yeah, it was really nice meeting you,” Seungmin said, Felix nodding as a small, barely-there smile passed over his lips.

“You too,” he said giving a small wave, “Goodbye.”

“Bye!” both Hyunjin and Seungmin called, Hyunjin watching a little longer as Felix disappeared through the large canteen doors, his head down and face set back in stone.

“Well, there you go,” Seungmin said, poking Hyunjin in the shoulder, “You’ve met the new kid.”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin said distractedly, still staring at the doors, “He seems… nice.”

“He does,” Seungmin nodded, flicking Hyunjin in the side of the face and laughing when Hyunjin finally turned to glare at him, “But you were definitely right about the mysterious side to him, there’s something about him I can’t quite put my finger on.”

“See, I told you!” Hyunjin said, practically huffing with every word, “You can be my assistant detective then, we’ll see if we can become his friend.”

“I most definitely did not agree to that,” Seungmin said pointedly, shaking his head before his face suddenly turned serious, “But make sure you don’t get too invested, okay Hyunjinnie? We want to be his friend, not turn him into some kind of project.”

“Yeah, of course,” Hyunjin nodded, not offended by the idea that Seungmin thought he could get carried away. Sometimes, Hyunjin got too laser-focused on things that he forgot to step back and think, Seungmin had always been there to help him with that.

“Good, if he makes it clear he wants us to back off, then we back off,” Seungmin said, letting a smile grace over his lips at the way Hyunjin bobbed his head, “But I’m still excited about getting to know him. He really does seem interesting.”

“Me too,” Hyunjin said, him and Seungmin starting to make their way out the canteen as it got closer to the time the bell would ring, “Also I might need to borrow your notes from today’s class. And all of this afternoon’s classes if the state of my brain says anything right now.”

“Oh, Hyunjin,” Seungmin shook his head as he stared up at the ceiling, letting out a dramatic huff, “What would you do without me?”

“Is that a yes?” Hyunjin drawled, leaning closer to Seungmin with a cute smile on his face, “I know you want to help me.”

“Of course, I’ll help you, idiot,” Seungmin shoved Hyunjin away, “I’ll even go a step further and go over the notes with you, I’m coming around yours tonight anyways.”

“Yeah, and Jisung and Jeongin,” Hyunjin said, “And I’m pretty sure Minho-hyung and Changbin-hyung are coming after their classes again.”

“Wow, we’ve all been at your house like three times this week,” Seungmin gave Hyunjin a look halfway between exasperation and fondness, “Are you sure Chan-hyung doesn’t mind?”

“Of course, He doesn’t. He absolutely loves it,” Hyunjin grinned, “He'll love it even more if a certain little Aussie joins us soon.”

“I can just imagine the conversations between him and Chan-hyung,” Seungmin said, laughing a little as Hyunjin cackled beside him, “But don’t get your hopes up, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Hyunjin said, “Now let’s just get to class. I can’t wait for this day to be over.”

“Cheers to that,” Seungmin remarked, just as the bell rang and him and Hyunjin arrived at their classroom, “Only afternoon classes left to go.”

And as much as Seungmin nagged him for it, Hyunjin wasn’t able to pay attention to any of his afternoon classes that day. His mind stayed on the redhead he knew was somewhere else in the school, probably staring at his notes with sparkling eyes and a look Hyunjin couldn’t read, intriguing him all the more as Hyunjin thought about him.

Fortunately, Hyunjin was able to distract himself for a bit as he walked back home with all the others, laughing along with their usual antics and getting excited to see his dads again, calling out to them the moment he walked through the front door.

Much to all their delight, Chan was a music producer who picked his own hours, so he was usually home when Hyunjin got back, which only made him all the more willing to accommodate for Hyunjin’s friends who liked to come round all the time.

“Hello boys,” Chan chirped as they all filed into the kitchen to lay their homework over the table, greeting Chan with various smiles and hellos as he planted a kiss on Hyunjin’s head and went to answer the door to Minho and Changbin.

It was only a matter of minutes before they were all bickering loudly with each other, throwing food around and pointing pencils at one another as they joked.

“You know, Hyunjin?” Chan said after a few moments of watching them all, sat next to Hyunjin and making a point of stage-whispering in his ear, “I could have sworn I only adopted one kid, not six.”

Hyunjin spluttered as the rest of the table started laughing, Seungmin muttering a quiet, “It’s about to be seven soon.”

“Wait, what was that?” Changbin asked as Hyunjin frantically tried to cover Seungmin’s mouth, grinning as he looked between them, “Have you guys found another friend?”

“More like Hyunjin set eyes on the new kid and is already planning the wedding.” Jisung joined in, eyes teeming with mischief as Hyunjin made a noise vaguely resembling an ostrich.

“A wedding?” Chan raised an eyebrow, “Hyunjinnie, I must say I’m surprised. I expected it to be a bit longer before I'd have to walk you down the aisle.”

Hyunjin threw a piece of fruit at him, “I’m not getting married! I just… I just thought he was hot!”

The entire table burst out laughing, Hyunjin blushing a deep red as he buried his face in his hands, deciding it would be better if he just didn’t talk ever again.

“Aww, our little Hyunjinnie!” Chan hugged Hyunjin from behind hide, his soft hands rubbing his back in loving reassurance as Hyunjin just groaned, “You’re growing up so fast. Look at you finding cute boys you want to take home.”

“Take home,” Minho snorted, “I bet he couldn’t even talk to the kid.”

“Actually!” Hyunjin shot his head up, pointing at Minho accusingly, “I _did_ speak to him, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, whilst you were making heart eyes at him the whole time,” Seungmin cut in, Hyunjin once more thunking his head on the table when everyone laughed at him again.

“Hyunjin, don’t do that, you’ll give yourself brain damage,” Chan said, ruffling Hyunjin's hair, “But I have to admit, I am intrigued. This boy must be really hot if even you’re ogling at him.”

“I wasn’t ogling!” Hyunjin tried to shout with his nose still pressed against the table, but everyone ignored him.

“He _was_ pretty hot,” Jisung nodded, gesturing with his cookie as the entire table turned to him, “Australian too.”

“Well, that explains it,” A large grin broke out on Chan’s face, his blond hair flicking to the side as he winked, “All Australians are sexy.”

A pencil launched itself at Chan from across the room, Minho tried to smack him on the back of the head and the entire table, including Hyunjin, hollered as Chan ducked back, laughing like a maniac as they all swore at him.

“Well, I’m pretty sure there is an Australian I’d like to send back,” Hyunjin remarked, pretending not to soften when Chan just pouted at him, somehow still looking like the teenager sat with the rest of them..

Chan's story had always filled Hyunjin with hope. After losing faith in his own parents, the idea of a young aspiring music producer still managing to adopt Hyunjin despite all the odds against him and all the difficulties he'd face. It made Hyunjin melt inside. The idea that family really could love him that much, that Chan would sacrifice that much for him.

It made Hyunjin want to do the same for someone else.

Sure, he was happy to have all his friends. Seungmin was pretty and Jeongin was cute and the rest of the boys were undeniably handsome, as well as incredibly warm-hearted, but they just weren’t the ones. They weren’t the one Hyunjin wanted to hold hands with in the corridors, the one he wanted to slip notes for in their locker, the one he wanted to share his lunch with. He wanted someone special of his own.

And all Hyunjin’s friends knew this about him, which is probably why they teased him about it so often, but they were also incredibly nice to him for it. They were always ready to make room for another friendly face should Hyunjin find someone, always reassuring him he was deserving of a special person and he would find them when the time was right. Hyunjin couldn’t be sure, but he knew there was potential for Felix to become that person.

“So, when is he coming over?” Chan’s voice eventually broke Hyunjin out of his thoughts, the table seeming to have calmed back down as Chan went to get started on the cooking.

“I don’t know…” Seungmin answered, tilting his head a little as he contemplated what to say, “He seemed really friendly when we spoke to him but… I don’t know… there was something about him. He was nice, but he got tense every time we mentioned being friends. There was just something about the way he reacted that seemed… off.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda hard to explain,” Hyunjin spoke this time, twirling his pencil between his fingers as he felt everyone’s gaze turn to him, “He was obviously a really nice guy, but he was nervous about something. I don’t know what.”

“Maybe it’s just because he’s the new kid?” Jeongin said, “He seemed fine after everyone stared at him when he bumped into Renjun, but it probably scared him a little.”

“And he’s probably really anxious in a building of new people who already know each other,” Changbin shrugged, Hyunjin biting his lip as he processed the words.

“I don’t … I don’t think that was it,” he said, “He just seemed a little guarded. Not enough that it made him mean, but enough that it was noticeable even around his niceness.”

“And that’s not even mentioning all the piercings and the leather jacket,” Jisung cut in, voice significantly more cheerful than Hyunjin’s had been, “It was hot, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little intimidating too.”

“Yah, Jisung!” Seungmin whacked Jisung on the shoulder, rolling his eyes when Jisung pouted dramatically back, “We don’t judge people like that. He’s allowed piercings and all that if he wants them.”

“And he looked damn good with them,” Hyunjin said before he could stop himself, smacking his face into his palm when grins broke out amongst everyone.

“Well, Hyunjin’s completely obvious fan-boying aside,” Minho said, devilish smile completely on display, “Just give the kid a chance, yeah? If he’s as nice as you say he is then he probably just needs some time to get used to being new before he really opens up.”

“Yeah, you guys are somehow nice and crazy enough to bring him out of his shell, I’m sure,” Changbin said, “And if you really want to help him you can bring him round here to meet me and Minho-hyung.”

“And me of course!” Chan said from where he was leant over the stove, blowing a kiss at the glare he received from Hyunjin.

“I don’t see why you’re all so intrigued,” Hyunjin grumbled to himself, propping his chin up on his hand as Seungmin patted his shoulder sympathetically, “Usually, I’m the only detective around here.”

“Well, this might just be the first mystery you have a crush on,” Jisung remarked, raising an eyebrow when Hyunjin glared at him, “Just saying.”

Hyunjin just stuck out his tongue, deciding to ignore that comment as he pretended to go back to his work, the others laughing before they joined him.

The rest of the evening passed in a similar fashion. They got all the work done and almost got into a food fight with Chan and dramatically pretended to cry when people had to leave. It was the usual standard stuff, but for some reason Hyunjin’s mind still kept straying back to a certain redhead. Every slight appearance of Chan’s Australian accent, every ray of sunshine through the window, every flash of black clothing, had Felix popping up once more in Hyunjin’s head.

He was still thinking about Felix well into the night, when he was sat in a baggy t-shirt and some grey sweatpants, curled up on the window sill with a blanket round his shoulders and his eyes on the Moon, brain fixed firmly on the new boy who’d been at the front of the class that day.

Hyunjin couldn’t explain it. He didn’t think it wasn’t even attraction or the ‘crush’ everyone claimed he had. There was just something about Felix, something that didn’t seem right.

Hyunjin had grown up in the system, he’d lived a few years before Chan had managed to swing the adoption agency onto his side, and it had taught him a few things to look out for. There were signs of someone having a similar hard life, signs of someone having a harder home than they let on. Hyunjin could see that in Felix… and he didn’t like it.

There was also the obvious fact that Felix was extremely gorgeous; he turned heads without even having to be a mystery, and it only drew Hyunjin further towards him. There was something in the way his eyes shone and his lips twirled and his freckles stood out in the glitter painted on his cheeks, the part of Hyunjin that noticed that definitely was the part with a ‘crush’.

And that just left Hyunjin going in circles, chasing after a guy he’d barely met. He couldn’t decide if he knew Felix or not. If he’d ever know Felix or not. Something told Hyunjin that Felix would be a difficult mystery to solve.

Hyunjin was still thinking about it when his door creaked open, the light flooding into his room and making him blink. A soft groan escaped his lips as he brought up a hand to rub at his eyes, vision blurring until it settled once more on Chan padding lightly into the room.

“Hyunjinnie?” he said quietly, eyes shining in concern, “Why are you still up?”

Hyunjin just pushed his hair out his face, turning to place both feet on the floor, “Sorry hyung, I’ll go to bed now.”

“No, it’s okay, hold on,” Chan hurried to say, sitting down next to Hyunjin and putting a hand on his knee to hold him still, “What’s up? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Hyunjin mumbled, eyes remaining on the floor as he felt Chan shifting closer him from the side, his silhouette glowing in the moonlight.

“Is it about that boy?” Chan said, voice quiet but also sounding so sure as Hyunjin whipped his head up to look at him, young eyes meeting Chan’s twinkling ones, a look of wonder passing over his face.

“How did you know that, hyung?” he asked, Chan smiling as he brought up careful fingers to comb through Hyunjin’s fringe.

“I cannot tell you how many sleepless nights I spent thinking about cute boys from my school,” he said, winking at Hyunjin’s curious look, “I suppose it’s not a surprise that my boy acts the same.”

A bloom of warmth blossomed in Hyunjin’s chest at the words, his eyes crinkling into a smile at the corners. He knew it shouldn’t be a surprise that Chan referred to him as ‘his boy’, but it never failed to fill him with love every time, forever reminding him that he had found the family he deserved.

But also, a second later, reminding Hyunjin that Felix didn’t seem to have all the love he deserved.

“Hyung,” Hyunjin swallowed, watching the very moment Chan registered the uncertainty in his voice, letting himself be pulled into the warm chest as Chan wrapped him in his arms, “I don’t think it is just a crush on Felix. I mean, yeah, he’s cute. But there’s something else.”

“Something else?” Chan asked, rubbing his hands over Hyunjin’s shoulders as Hyunjin sighed into his t-shirt, “What do you mean, Hyunjin?”

“He has this look on his face, this guarded look,” Hyunjin said, “It’s the same look I saw on the faces of some of the kids I met when I was younger, before I was adopted by you.”

Hyunjin felt Chan stiffen around him, arms tightening almost unconsciously at the mention of the time before they’d adopted Hyunjin, “What is it… what is it you’re trying to say, Hyunjinnie?”

“I don’t know,” Hyunjin answered, his thoughts jumbling themselves again as he wondered how to put them into words, “I don’t want to assume things about him, but there’s just something about the way he looks. It was… familiar… and not in a good way.”

Chan went silent for a few seconds, Hyunjin practically listening to him think before he felt Chan’s fingers on his chin, gently pulling his gaze up to face him, “Hyunjin, do you think we need to do something?”

“I don’t know, I’m probably just being paranoid,” he said, shaking his head to try and clear his thoughts, “I don’t want to turn him into this massive mystery or freak him out or anything. There was just something about him that caught me off guard I guess.”

“I don’t think you’re being paranoid,” Chan said, his eyebrows furrowing as he studied Hyunjin’s face, “You’ve always been right about people like him. You read people well. Just keep an eye on him for us, yeah? I’ve been in contact with loads of social workers over the years. If he needs help, we can get it to him.”

“I doubt it’ll come to that, but thank you,” Hyunjin said, his face once more nuzzling into Chan’s chest, “It’s probably just me being dramatic because he’s hot.”

Chan snorted, “Now that also sounds like me,” he planted a kiss on Hyunjin’s head, “You’ll be fine, Hyunjin, and so will he. I know it.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Hyunjin said, the two of them staying wrapped around each other for a few seconds before Chan gently nudged him towards the bed, draping a blanket over him as Hyunjin melted into the mattress.

“Goodnight, baby,” Chan said, with one more press of lips to Hyunjin’s cheek as Hyunjin sighed contently.

“Night,” Hyunjin called back softly, the darkness settling over him as Chan pulled the door shut, leaving Hyunjin to a calm night and sweet dreams of freckles swirling like constellations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading Chapter 1!!
> 
> I know this was a pretty long start, not all chapters will be this length. I hope you still enjoyed it, though. We have more questions than answers at this point but we'll get there I promise ;)
> 
> I'm pretty swamped with uni work at the moment but I have all of this planned out and parts of it written, so updates should be fairly consistent
> 
> Have a beautiful day <33


	2. A Spring in his Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix was leant against the wall a few feet away from the door, his earphones still in his ears and his hands tapping a beat against his legs. His head bobbed slightly, lips barely moving as they formed the words to whatever he was listening to.
> 
> The sight left Hyunjin a little flustered. Felix was clearly in his own world, not putting on a single act and, for the first time since Hyunjin had known him, looking liking an actual teenager as he tapped his feet in the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya!!
> 
> thank you so much to the overwhelmingly positive response to the first chapter. I'm so glad everyone's excited about hyunlix and a new chaptered story and all that fun stuff.
> 
> not much action in this chapter but just a lil bit of cuteness, enjoy!! <33

The next day entailed Hyunjin spotting Felix in the corridor.

Felix was walking with his earphones in. A cropped white t-shite hung loosely off his shoulders, stopping just above a pair of black ripped jeans with a thick red belt hugging at his waist and showing off his tiny hips. His nail varnish was also red, fingers holding onto a black backpack with pink straps. His combat boots were thick and loud with neon yellow laces, adding yet another spot of colour that seemed to suit the boy despite his clear preference for dark colours.

His red hair was curling just above his eyes, covered mostly by a loose black beanie that his elf-ears poked adorably out of. Each ear was riddled with piercings, long star-like earrings dangling from his lobes, complimented by highlighter shimmering on his cheeks and a thin barely-noticeable layer of eyeliner that brought out the shining of his eyes.

The sight had Hyunjin stopping dead in the corridor, Jisung very nearly crashing into the back of him.

Felix looked… Felix looked _beautiful._

It was a look different from the leather jacket Felix had rocked the previous day, but one that made him look equally as stunning.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but stare at him, his mouth falling open as he watched his friends follow his gaze and all gasp in the same way, clearly starstruck by the boy just listening to his music oblivious to all of them staring at him in the corridor.

“Wow.” Jeongin said bluntly, “Just wow.”

“You know what?” Seungmin said, not tearing his gaze away from Felix, “I might actually agree with you on this one, Innie.”

“Now Felix _is_ a mystery I’d like to solve,” Jisung joined, all of them finally managing to look away from Felix just to whack Jisung on his shoulders, “Okay! Guys, sorry! I was joking!”

Seungmin just laughed, looking back to where Felix had disappeared around the corner, “I don’t blame you to be honest. I get the fascination now, Hyunjin.”

“See, I told you he was one to look out for,” Hyunjin grinned, “We’ll get to our class early today, see if he’s there too, maybe we can say hi.”

“That might just be the first time I’ve heard Hyunjin offer to get to any class early,” Jeongin chirped as he started to walk again, ignoring the spluttering he got in response, “But I might actually join you. I want to say hi to Felix too.”

“Wow, the Felix effect is real,” Jisung said, emphasising his words with a whistle, “He’s going to have all the guys and gals and everyone else pining after him soon enough.”

“I don’t know,” Seungmin said with a suck of his teeth, “He’s still got that kind of intimidating look going for him, people might not be brave enough.”

“But it’s hot,” Jisung immediately shot back, “It entices people.”

“Will you lot please stop talking about him like that?” Hyunjin made a point of shoving himself between Seungmin and Jisung, “I’m going to try and befriend him and then we can have normal conversations with him instead of just staring at him.”

“Can’t wait,” Jeongin said, “Who knows? Maybe we will finally have another Aussie joining our circle?”

“And Chan-hyung will definitely approve of this one,” Jisung added, reaching up to ruffle Hyunjin’s hair, “Imagine his reaction, his son’s first boyfriend being an Aussie. He’d be over the Moon.”

“Yah, Jisung!” Hyunjin smacked Jisung’s hand away, “Who the hell said anything about Felix being my boyfriend?! We just want to make friends!”

“Because, we all _definitely_ believe that,” Seungmin mused, wagging his finger at Hyunjin’s glare, “Don’t try to deny it, Jinnie. The heart eyes are real.”

Hyunjin just grumbled, pouting as they all grinned at him, “You guys are impossible.”

“We’re just trying to help you find love,” Seungmin said, smiling as he squeezed Hyunjin’s shoulder, “Now please try to pay attention to your morning classes. If you do, then I’ll let you borrow my notes for the class Felix is in.”

“Oh my god, Seungminnie, you’re the best!” Hyunjin didn’t hesitate to pull Seungmin into a hug, both of his eyes crinkled as he smiled widely, “I’m going to be the best student all morning, you’ll see!”

With that, Hyunjin shot off, dashing down the corridor with a spring in his step as he made his way to his first class of the day.

Seungmin, Jisung and Jeongin stayed behind, all staring after him with their mouths open in shock.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that excited for class. Ever.” Jeongin said, barely able to take his eyes away from the spot Hyunjin had just disappeared from.

“Yeah, me neither,” Jisung said, suddenly serious, “He must really like Felix.”

The words circled them all, hanging heavily in the air in a way they couldn’t decipher. Seungmin wanted to open his mouth, wanted to put his feelings into words, but there wasn’t anyway he could think to do so.

How could he explain that he wanted Hyunjin to be happy and he wanted Felix to be happy but when he pictured them together, everything seemed to fall apart? Hyunjin was too curious for his own good and Felix was beautiful, but there were clearly some skeletons in his closet. It was a combination too perfect, a combination bound to open old wounds and Seungmin didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

“We’ll be there for them, right?” he said to Jisung and Jeongin, knowing they’d know exactly what he was talking about, “Both of them, as much as we can.”

“Of course, we will,” Jeongin didn’t even hesitate, Jisung bobbing his head beside him, “We’ll make sure they’re happy. Both of them.”

. . .

Hyunjin rushed excitedly to the class he shared with Felix, his smile wide and his hair flipping behind him as he grabbed Seungmin along the way, chattering about how many notes he’d taken all morning and how much of a model student he was and how Seungmin _had_ to let Hyunjin use his notes now.

Seungmin just rolled his eyes, putting on his best smile as he forced himself to breathe, telling himself it was just a normal conversation outside a classroom. Hyunjin wasn’t about to go in all guns blazing, he knew to be careful, and Felix didn’t seem like the type to take things out of perspective, so they would be fine.

Seungmin might even go as far to say he was also excited to get to know Felix a bit more. The new kid was intriguing, even Seungmin could admit that.

“Oh my god, there he is!” Hyunjin chirped, quickly smoothing back his hair before turning to flash Seungmin a million-dollar smile, giggling at the eye crinkles he got in return.

Felix was leant against the wall a few feet away from the door, his earphones still in his ears and his hands tapping a beat against his legs. His head bobbed slightly, lips barely moving as they formed the words to whatever he was listening to.

The sight left Hyunjin a little flustered. Felix was clearly in his own world, not putting on a single act and, for the first time since Hyunjin had known him, looking liking an actual teenager as he tapped his feet in the corridor. 

It gave Hyunjin a rush of confidence. Felix was just a new kid open to making friends, and Hyunjin and his soft heart could give him that.

“Hey, Felix,” he said as he walked over, waving his hands a little so Felix would notice him through his earphones, “How are you?”

“Oh, hey,” Felix gently pulled out an earbud, small hands curling around the wire as he looked up at them in surprise, “I’m good, you?”

“I’m great!” Hyunjin grinned, intentionally stepping back a little and ducking his head to come across as less intimidating, knowing that no matter how many piercings Felix had, he was still able to feel overwhelmed, “We thought we’d say hi after meeting you yesterday, make sure everything’s fine being the new kid.”

“Yeah, it’s weird, but I’m getting used to it, I think,” Felix shrugged, his hands fiddling with some of the chains hanging off his belt, “Thanks for… thanks for, um, checking.”

Hyunjin just smiled at Felix’s awkwardness, nodding as he answered, “It’s no problem, I’d want someone to do the same for me.”

“Have you looked at some of the school clubs yet?” Seungmin asked, Hyunjin raising his eyebrows at the way Felix’s eyes stopped exploring Hyunjin’s face to suddenly slide to Seungmin like he’d only just realised he was there. The sight had Hyunjin’s heart skipping a beat. Felix could clearly hide his curiosity and wandering eyes, but not as well as Hyunjin could read them.

“Um… not really,” Felix had to think about his answer, clearly not having registered Seungmin’s words straight away.

“Well, you should definitely consider it,” Seungmin smiled in a way that suggested he knew exactly what Felix had been doing, “The debate team could definitely use another member.”

Hyunjin snorted, Seungmin had been trying to recruit new members of the debate team for months now and the amused twinkle in Felix’s eyes suggested that he could see that in him.

“I don’t think I’d be very good on a debate team,” Felix said, giggling in a way that didn’t suit his face but also seemed to really suit his face, “Someone would make a point against me and I’d start crying or something.”

Hyunjin couldn’t hide back his laugh, Felix smiling at him in response, “Honestly, me too! Only heartless people like Minnie here came stomach it.”

Felix giggled again when Seungmin whacked Hyunjin in the shoulder, Hyunjin’s heart warming as the sound reached his ears. This Felix seemed so much more comfortable, so much looser than the Felix yesterday who was already being talked into commitments about friendship.

Hyunjin decided to keep it this way, to take only small steps with Felix instead of trying to get close to him straight away. Felix clearly had worries, had a larger wall around him than most people, so Hyunjin decided he would climb it slowly. He would carefully step over all the veins and branches and peak his head gently over the wall, instead of trying to bulldoze his way through it like he usually would.

“Any other clubs you were thinking of?” Hyunjin asked, enjoying Felix’s eyes drifting back to him, “I’m on the dance team and I can highly recommend it.”

There was a flicker of something over Felix’s face at that, a flicker of longing that Hyunjin was taken aback by. But it was schooled away so quickly that Hyunjin could only see pain.

“Yeah… I… I really love to dance,” Felix’s gaze fell to the floor, a part of his fringe falling out his beanie to hide his face.

Hyunjin smiled despite himself, mind picturing Felix’s lithe body moving to a song. Felix clearly had the look for it, and his gracefulness and poise made Hyunjin realise he was stupid for not figuring out that Felix was a dancer earlier.

“Oh my god, that’s great! Me too!” Hyunjin grinned encouragingly, trying to duck down enough to be seen through Felix’s fringe, “We’d love to have you on the team.”

Felix turned his head so he was looking to look to the side, unable to meet either of their gaze as his shoulders tightened and his posture straightened, “I don’t know,” he said, sounding hesitant despite the fact it was clear he was not going to be taking up Hyunjin’s offer. Hyunjin frowned.

It was happening again. Hyunjin could see it. Felix was closing himself off.

Hyunjin cursed himself, suddenly realising his mistake. By asking Felix to join a team he was asking Felix to make a commitment, and that was clearly something he had a problem with.

Baby steps. Hyunjin reminded himself. He needed to take baby steps.

“Well, you don’t have to,” Hyunjin quickly back-tracked, making sure to keep his face smiley and light, “The studio’s still always open, so if you ever want to use it when it’s free then go ahead. No team membership required.”

That seemed to make Felix feel better, his shoulders dropping slightly as he cast a quick glance at Hyunjin to check he was genuine, “That’d be great, thanks.”

“No problem, if you ever need me to show you where it is or anything, feel free to ask,” Hyunjin said, friendly grin creeping back on his face when Felix smiled at him.

“That’s so kind of you. Thanks,” Felix said, a small hand coming up to push his hair back out his face now he was comfortable with looking at them again, “I’m sorry about the team and the debate and all that.”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologise,” Seungmin was quick to say, “We understand that you’re new, it can’t be easy.”

“It’s a lot easier when I have people like you looking after me,” Felix said, not missing a beat, and that was the first time Hyunjin saw raw, genuine emotion twinkling in Felix’s eyes. It was just for a second, but the second was enough. There was no mask, just pure gratefulness twinkling on Felix’s face as he spoke, enough of it that Hyunjin blinked in shock, not able to respond as he listened to Seungmin launching into a chat about how it was no big deal and Felix could come to them for anything and all that lovely stuff.

Felix may still not be their friend, and he may not have committed to a team, but somehow this was progress. Somehow this was a step in the right direction.

Hyunjin was still smiling about it when the bell rang and he spent the whole class daydreaming about the boy at the back of the room, knowing that everything was going to be okay because Seungmin was going to lend him the notes and Felix was starting to open up to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> sorry this chapter was a lil short, it was originally longer but what follows this actually works a lot better in its own chapter, so I hope you don't mind
> 
> please have a beautiful day <33


	3. A Look in his Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So,” Hyunjin said as he picked up a piece of meat with his chopsticks and pointed it in Felix’s direction, “Favourite food. Go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya all, welcome to chapter 3 <3
> 
> another short but sweet one, not many words but a little moment that'll speak volumes for the future ;)
> 
> please enjoy!! <33

The corridor meetings became more frequent after that. They weren’t long and they weren’t full of long, riveting conversations about every detail of Felix’s life, but they were enough.

They were even enough for Felix to actually start trusting Hyunjin. He asked for extra class-notes so he could catch up and, after a few subtle prompts, Felix was eventually able to work up the courage to ask Hyunjin for help finding the dance studio.

The conversation they’d had on the way was the longest they’d had to date. Hyunjin had learnt that Felix was an entirely self-taught dancer and hip-hop was his favourite style. He also hand-made most of the outfits he wore and spent the little money he got from a part-time job on all his accessories.

Hyunjin had practically turned into a puppy when Felix had explained that, all wide eyes and cute noises and utmost respect for the way Felix talked.

Felix had blushed the entire rest of the walk to the studio and Hyunjin hadn’t been able to take his eyes off him. It wasn’t a lot he’d learned about Felix, but it was enough that Hyunjin could work with, and conversation had flowed so much more easily between them after that.

Hyunjin had wanted to stay for a little bit to watch Felix dance, but he kept having to remind himself to take it slow. If he carried on gradually guiding Felix to open up, then he would hopefully be able to freely watch Felix dance one day. He just had to be patient.

So, he continued to slowly worm his way into Felix’s school life, occasionally also standing by whilst Felix chatted shyly with Hyunjin’s other friends.

It was a full-month before Hyunjin had what he considered a proper meeting between him and Felix. All the other conversations had happened between classes or on walks and they’d always served some sort of purpose. There was always something to rush to afterwards or a bell ringing to interrupt them.

Hyunjin and Felix had never had just a casual chat. Just a lazy talk between friends. One of those pointless conversations that serve no purpose but you have them daily with your friends because it keeps you sane.

Hyunjin wanted that with Felix. He didn’t want to chat about just school work and clubs and all that other small talk. He wanted to know Felix’s favourite colour, what animals Felix had seen in Australia, what Felix liked to eat for breakfast.

It had been said a few times that maybe Hyunjin was insane for wanting to know all this about Felix, but he couldn’t help it. There was just something about Felix, something exhilarating.

By all means, everyone should have been terrified of Felix. He strutted around with his thick combat boots and face set in stone. Yet, everyone seemed to love him. When he did interact with people, he was always friendly and shy, his eyes suddenly childlike and innocent with his small fingers tucking his hair behind his ear. Everyone said he was a bad boy, but he never seemed to have done anything wrong. The rumours about him being expelled from his old school quickly changed to the stories of how he’d helped Chenle with his homework and how he carried Yuna’s books for her and how his dark colours seemed to provide a sense of light.

Hyunjin couldn’t help it; he was fascinated. And he wanted to know more.

He was given the opportunity one lunchtime. He was sat at the usual table, watching Jisung and Haechan throw food at each other from across the table whilst Chaeryeong braided Jeongin’s hair and Jaemin tried his best to distract Renjun from his reading.

None of them saw Felix coming, they were all chattering until the hesitant sound of someone clearing their throat distracted them. They all turned around, Hyunjin practically squealing when he saw Felix standing next to their table, shifting on his feet as he looked at them through his hair.

He was wearing a dark grey graphic-tee with a logo Hyunjin didn’t recognise stamped boldly in the middle. There were obviously hand-cut holes in the sleeves with extra seams sewed in the collar, lying just below the choker Felix had around his neck.

His jeans were jet-black, another multitude of holes showing off the sparkly fishnets he had on underneath, leading down to his usual combat boots but this time with neon blue laces threaded along the front. His hair was messy and un-styled, bright red flaunting on top of his head above lined eyes and sparkling cheeks, lip-gloss lying delicately over his mouth.

Once again, Hyunjin gasped at Felix’s outfit. No matter what he wore, Felix always looked _hot._

“Oh, hey Felix,” Seungmin was the first person at the table to stop checking Felix out long enough to actually respond to him, noticing how Felix was practically shrinking under all their gaze, “What brings you to our humble lunch table?”

“I, um, I’m not going to be able to make it to our next class,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck as everyone continued to stare at him, “I wondered if it’d be okay if I borrowed the notes off you.”

“Of course, you can!” Hyunjin chirped in before Seungmin could, “You’re welcome to our notes anytime!”

“Your welcome to _my_ notes any time,” Seungmin cut in, elbowing Hyunjin in the ribs and not failing to notice the way a small smile made its way onto Felix’s face at the sight, “Felix, I promise you can have my notes. Hyunjin here barely takes notes in that class and when he does, they’re more doodles of his dog than anything else.”

Felix giggled, ducking his head when both Yuna and Chaeryeong cooed loudly at the sight, standing up and bounding over to pinch his cheeks as his face went a bright tomato red.

“Thanks, Seungmin,” Felix said after a few seconds of letting the girls fuss over him, looking up shyly when they both looped an arm over each of his shoulders, “I really appreciate it.”

“You’re also welcome to all my puppy doodles if you’d like them too,” Hyunjin said, warmth blooming in his chest when Felix laughed louder, prompting more squeals from Yuna and Chaeryeong. 

“I’d love that, Hyunjin,” Felix said, “I’d love to see what your dog looks like.”

“Oh my god, he’s a dog person!” Jeno screeched, holding up his chopsticks in the shape of a cross in front of him, scrambling back on his chair, “Get him away!”

“Nope, sit him down!” Yuna shouted back, grabbing one of Felix’s hands and pulling him towards the table as Chaeryeong pushed him from behind, “He can eat lunch with us!”

Hyunjin didn’t miss the slight panic flitting over Felix’s face before he schooled it away, letting himself be tugged down into a seat between Yuna and Renjun. His shoulders were little tense and his fingers were going to town picking at the holes in his jeans, but Hyunjin could tell that he did genuinely want to be there, that he did appreciate being included, just for once, in their group.

There were a few seconds of awkward silence before Jisung made quite a dramatic point of launching into his latest conspiracy theory about the Moon landing and soon Chenle was throwing pencils at him and Seungmin was rolling his eyes and Hyunjin looked on in awe as Felix laughed along.

The redhead just fit in so well with them.

Sure, he wore darker clothes than anyone and there was still a definite _something_ behind his eyes, but he melted so naturally into their group.

Hyunjin watched him as he discussed books with Renjun, as he quoted vines with Jisung, as he completely softened in front of Seungmin. It just _worked._

And then there was Hyunjin’s own interactions with Felix. Their fleeting corridor meetings suddenly seemed worth it as Hyunjin was able to chat freely with Felix over lunch. It was like they’d been friends forever, like they did this all the time, Hyunjin couldn’t explain it but something warmed between him and Felix, something perfect.

“So,” Hyunjin said as he picked up a piece of meat with his chopsticks and pointed it in Felix’s direction, “Favourite food. Go.”

“Strawberries,” Felix said without a single moment of hesitation, his mouth pulling into a toothy grin when Hyunjin made a show of shifting his eyes to Felix’s hair, eyebrows raising comically, “Yes, I know the red hair makes it obvious!”

Hyunjin could only laugh, feeling happier as Felix laughed with him, “Does that mean your favourite colour is red?”

“Not necessarily,” Felix shrugged, “I’ve had pink and orange hair before, neither of them are my favourite colours.”

“So, what is it then?” Seungmin leaned in, his gaze shifting over Felix’s outfit, “Dare I say, is it black?”

“No, it’s not actually,” Felix smiled, “Though, it probably seems like it.”

The entire table started shouting out colours, most of them dark and gloomy as Felix only shook his head at them, smile getting gradually smugger as they continued to get it wrong. He kept stroking over his dark grey t-shirt and running his hands over his jeans as if to make his preference for dark colours clear, but Hyunjin refused to let himself be tricked. Felix was a mysterious person, he was the type to hide a few tricks up his sleeves.

And if Hyunjin could solve this, he’d be one step closer to solving the mystery that is Lee Felix.

So, Hyunjin let his gaze roam, his eyes crawling over every colour on the table and fitting it to Felix to see if it worked. Nothing seemed to fit at first, nothing until Hyunjin’s gaze lowered down to his very own light-blue hoodie that was hanging off his shoulders, the colour of it as beautiful as the sky.

Hyunjin wore the hoodie as much as he physically could, it was big and comfy and beautiful, and suited his sparkly eyes well. Hyunjin wondered if this is why Felix had trusted him before he’d trusted anyone else in this school, if this was what had drawn them both together in the first place despite Felix’s clear fear of commitment.

“It’s sky blue, isn’t it?” Hyunjin said, the sudden declaration enough to silence the whole table as Felix locked eyes with him, a look of surprise glistening on his face.

It took a couple of seconds for Felix to nod, a sharp breath leaving his throat as his lips tugged upwards in probably the most genuine smile Hyunjin had seen before on his face.

“It is,” Felix said, voice quiet and teeming with awe, “No one’s ever guessed that right before.”

Hyunjin could imagine why. Felix probably got a lot of judgement being someone who wore very stormy outfits, but his personality shone as bright as the sky, and Hyunjin was thankful he was open enough to see it.

“Well, no one’s ever looked at you properly then,” Hyunjin said before he could stop himself, watching once more as that devastating flash of _something_ wavered over Felix’s face.

Hyunjin’s comment was forgotten as quickly as it had been said, everyone else jumping in to shout that sky blue definitely suited Felix. But Felix didn’t pay them any attention, too busy staring into Hyunjin’s eyes. There was a look on his face, almost a surprised sense of confusion with a glimmer of an emotion Hyunjin couldn’t place. 

Felix always looked like he knew something, like there was something about him that he knew no one else was aware of. This was the closest Hyunjin had ever come to placing it, the furthest Felix had let him in. Hyunjin had moved past all the dark colours and he’d skipped the red and was now dancing in the sky-blue.

It was almost like everyone faded away, like the entire world disappeared around them. Who needed the universe when Hyunjin could see an entire one swirling in Felix’s eyes? Who needed a sky when Felix had one staring right back at him?

But still, _still_ , Felix was a mystery. Even when he was laid bare in front of Hyunjin. Even when no one else existed to them in that moment. Even when Hyunjin stared right into his soul.

It wasn’t enough. Felix still had secrets hiding behind his eyelids, still had a bad boy complex he clung to with everything he had, still had walls built around every emotion he had.

Hyunjin was slowly making the journey, but he hadn’t reached his destination yet.

The destination being Felix’s heart.

It was with a mighty ring that the school bell suddenly sliced its way through the air, jolting both Hyunjin and Felix out of their stupor as the lunch room instantly came alive with students getting their things together.

Felix jumped like he’d been burned, a second of undeniable panic seizing his veins before Hyunjin watched him grab his things and bolt. He was out of the chair and out of the room before Hyunjin could even think about producing the word _wait!_

Questions flooded Hyunjin’s brain, his instincts screaming at him to chase after Felix, to question what the hell that was and what the hell was Felix hiding. But Hyunjin had to get to class. He had to get to a class that wouldn’t have Felix in it and somehow that left Hyunjin feeling empty. Empty and filled with questions.

Felix was _still_ a mystery and somehow Hyunjin felt it had just gotten harder to solve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again for reading, especially for making this far. the story may seem slow at the moment, but I promise soon it'll start moving like a steam train
> 
> i'm not usually one to ask this, but today really hasn't been good at all and i'm kinda nervous about posting this so a little extra love in the comments would really go a long way <33 i really do appreciate everything you guys write for me
> 
> little spoiler for the next chapter: it involves the dance studio ;)
> 
> please remember to take care of yourselves and have a blessed day <3 xx


	4. Sunshine in his Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know, I’m sorry,” Hyunjin forced himself to take a deep breath, inhaling Chan’s comforting scent as he talked himself into calming down, “It’s just I promise you that Felix is doing nothing like that, we barely even talk anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellllooo, welcome to chapter 4 <33
> 
> thank you for such positive responses to last chapter. it means the world to know that people liked it, i hope this chapter also manages to please xx

As it turns out, Hyunjin wasn’t wrong about the mystery that was Felix.

It became a lot harder to talk to Felix after that lunchtime. It was evident that he had been spooked. Corridor meetings turned into Felix disappearing around corners, his red hair a blur and his earphones a permanent fixture to his outfits.

Hyunjin had managed to talk to him a few times, but the conversations weren’t the same anymore. Felix’s walls were back up higher than ever and his emotions were hidden firmly behind, so different to the raw expressions Hyunjin had seen in Felix when the entire world had been nothing but him.

It felt like it had been so long since then. So long since Hyunjin and Felix had locked eyes over a lunch table. So long since every voice and every face and every person had been irrelevant except them.

So long since Hyunjin had gotten closer to Felix than he ever thought he could be.

It only made Felix more mysterious. Hyunjin had known he had things to hide; he knew Felix obviously struggled with emotions and he knew Felix didn’t like to commit to things, but the mystery became so much harder to solve when Felix’s fear was all he was, when the walls were now barricades Hyunjin didn’t have tall enough ladders to climb.

The sky blue was gone and replaced by just the dark clothes Felix wore and the deadly glitter over his eyes and the permanent frown on his face that Hyunjin knew didn’t belong there, but Felix insisted on maintaining all the same.

It was starting to affect Hyunjin more than it should, and he knew he was starting to worry people. He just never imagined it’d get so far that he’d be cornered by Chan on a random Tuesday morning.

“Hyunjinnie,” Hyunjin was half-asleep and getting his books together when the soft voice floated through his door, Hyunjin looking up to see Chan leant in the doorway, hair messy and face puffy with sleep.

“Oh, hey hyung,” Hyunjin said, shifting over on his bed to let Chan sit next to him, “You’re up early.”

He was. Usually, Chan would sleep in on school days, having been up so late that he would sleep well into the day. It was rare Hyunjin bumped into him on school mornings.

“I know, I am,” Chan smiled softly, a large hand coming to ruffle Hyunjin’s hair as Chan settled next to him on the bed, “I already made your lunch.”

“What? You don’t have to do that!” Hyunjin sprang off the bed, “I always make my own lunch, go back to sleep!”

“It's fine, baby,” Chan was quick to gently circle a hand around Hyunjin’s wrist, guiding him back onto the bed, “I wanted to talk to you this morning and I didn’t want you to go without lunch.”

Hyunjin swallowed as he nodded, settling back on the bed as he tried to mentally prepare himself for the talk he knew was coming, “Oh, okay, what’s up?”

Chan looked at Hyunjin like it was obvious, like he knew that Hyunjin knew exactly what they were talking about, “Come on, Hyunjinnie, you know I’m not that stupid. This is about the boy. You’ve been so distracted recently, I'm worried he’s upsetting you.”

“What? No!” Hyunjin was raising his voice before he could stop himself, his chest immediately beginning to tighten as his breath halted. They’d barely even started talking and he was already shouting. He hated that he got worked up so easily, hated that he was so sensitive sometimes it led to him getting panicked.

Luckily, Chan knew this about him. He knew Hyunjin better than Hyunjin did, so he knew exactly what to do.

“Hey, it’s okay, calm down,” he said, voice low and soothing as he carefully tugged Hyunjin towards him, wrapping strong arms around his shoulders, “I’m sorry if I was wrong. I just don’t want you to get hurt, baby.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Hyunjin forced himself to take a deep breath, inhaling Chan’s comforting scent as he talked himself into calming down, “It’s just I promise you that Felix is doing nothing like that, we barely even talk anymore.”

He could hear the defeat in his own voice, could feel Chan’s sympathetic eyes boring into his head, “Is that what’s upsetting you, baby? It hasn’t worked out between you two?”

“No… it… it’s not like that,” Hyunjin said, stuttering on his words as he struggled to think of what to say, “It’s really hard to explain. Felix… he… he’s really closed off. And usually I’d take a hint and leave him alone, but I just _can’t_ with him. There’s something about him, it took me ages to get him to open up even a little and now he’s so spooked that he avoids me. I’m really worried about him.”

Hyunjin could practically hear Chan thinking above him. He knew Chan wanted to do the classic parent thing and tell Hyunjin that he was probably just being dramatic, but both Chan and Hyunjin knew that probably wasn’t true. The process of adopting Hyunjin had taught Chan a lot; it had taught him to look for signs in children’s lives that they weren’t okay, it taught him that Hyunjin had been educated all too well in how to spot someone who needed help.

If Hyunjin had saw something concerning in Felix, then he was probably right, and Chan knew he’d be stupid to ignore it.

“What exactly are you saying, Hyunjin?” Chan eventually asked, letting go of Hyunjin so they could face each other, hands still firmly clasped between them, “What do you think is exactly going on with Felix?”

“I don’t know, that’s the problem,” Hyunjin said, “It was so much easier to read people when I was a kid surrounded by other kids, but Felix is older. He hides himself so well I can’t even explain it, I even second-guess myself at times.”

“So, he has experience in hiding himself?” Chan asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he processed Hyunjin’s words and what exactly they could mean.

“ _So_ much experience, hyung,” Hyunjin said so certainly that Chan couldn’t not believe him, “He knows not to commit to anything, not to join any groups or clubs, not to get close to people. He was so much like a normal kid one lunch time that he started avoiding me the next day, he knew he’d made a mistake doing that. He knows what he’s doing and that’s why I can’t place what’s going on with him.”

Chan’s entire face fell in concern, his thumb subconsciously rubbing circles into Hyunjin’s hand, “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do,” Hyunjin’s ear pricked up to listen, “I know this is going to be hard, but I don’t want to rush into this. Do you think there’s any way we can invite him here? I know a thing or two about danger signs, we can take a look at him together.”

Hyunjin bit his lip, “I really don’t know, hyung, he’s been really distant lately, and he probably knows better than to let people in like that.”

“Say it’s for school work or something,” Chan said, “Even if it’s only for five minutes, see if you can get him here. Or, if you can, see if you can get invited to his home. Although, if that’s where the problem is then you might struggle with that.”

“I’ll do my best,” Hyunjin said, his eyes ducking for a few seconds before he brought them back up to Chan, “Thank you so much, hyung, you’ve no idea what this means to me.”

“You don’t need to thank me for this, baby,” Chan said, pulling Hyunjin into a hug, “You’re such a good person looking out for him like you are, I'll always be here to help you.”

“Love you, hyung,” Hyunjin said, voice muffled by where he was nuzzling into Chan’s chest.

“I love you too,” Chan pressed his lips on Hyunjin’s head, letting them remain there for a few moments before he carefully pulled away, reaching over to finishing packing up Hyunjin’s bag, “Now go grab your lunch, I’ll bring your bag down for you.”

“Alright, thanks hyung,” Hyunjin said as he stood up to leave the room, making his way downstairs to grab his lunch off the kitchen counter.

“Bye hyung,” Hyunjin said, taking his bag from Chan and leaving with a wave, his uncle watching him with a fond smile on his face as he walked out the door.

. . .

Throughout the school day, Hyunjin thought of ways he could get Felix to meet Chan.

He was sure he was the answer. Chan was a responsible adults with experience of social workers and adopting children and enough kindness that could last him a lifetime. If anyone could get through to Felix, it was him.

But that meant he had to meet Felix somehow and Hyunjin didn’t know how he was going to pull that off. Felix was sneaky enough to be able to repeatedly dodge Hyunjin, and that only made finding him hard, let alone talking him into coming to Hyunjin’s house.

But Hyunjin was nothing if not determined, so, much to Seungmin’s annoyance, he spent most of his classes that day twirling his pencil and coming up with ideas. They ranged from luring Felix with Chan’s Australian-ness to just straight-up kidnapping.

He decided not to go with either of those.

So, safe to say, Hyunjin ended that day with a huge pile of nothing. He hadn’t even managed a conversation with Felix, let alone a kidnapping heist, and the whole process of it all was weighing him down.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Seungmin asked for the fifth time as him and Hyunjin began to walk out the school at the end of the day, “You don’t go to the dance studio on non-practice days unless you’re stressed.”

“That’s exactly the point of it, Minnie,” Hyunjin sighed, ignoring the concerned eyes he could feel boring into the side of him, “I go there to _release_ stress and I need that today.”

“You can talk about it with me if you want,” Seungmin didn’t hesitate to offer, his eyes wide in a way that suggested he really did want to help. Hyunjin sighed again, tugging on Seungmin’s hand and pulling him to a stop in a corner of one of the hallways.

“I appreciate it, Min, I really do,” Hyunjin said, squeezing Seungmin’s hand as Seungmin just stared at him with the same puppy eyes, “But I talked with Chan-hyung this morning, I really just want to dance this off now. You’ve done all you can, I promise.”

“I… as long as you’re really sure,” Seungmin bit at his lip, his eyes searching every inch of Hyunjin’s face before he gave in, “You’re really okay, though? You can tell me if you’re not. I can tell the others to shut up about Felix if that’s what you nee-”

“Minnie,” Hyunjin cut in, admittedly having to resist cooing at the way Seungmin suddenly jolted to look at him after he realised he’d been rambling, “I’m really okay, I promise. You don’t need to do anything, I’m just glad to have you here.”

“I’m glad to have you too, Hyunjinnie,” Seungmin said, pulling Hyunjin into a hug before he pulled away, “You’ll text me later, yeah? When you’re back from the studio?”

“Of course,” Hyunjin said before he shoved Seungmin lightly in the shoulder, “Now go home! Get some rest! Give that big brain of yours a break.”

“Excuse you, mister,” Seungmin retorted, strutting off down hallway as Hyunjin laughed following behind, “This big brain of mine doesn’t need a break, unlike the marble you have rolling around up there.”

With that, he jabbed Hyunjin in the head, Hyunjin yelling as he slapped back, but Seungmin was able to dodge away just in time, giggling as he ran out the school and in the opposite direction of the dance studio, giving Hyunjin a mischievous grin over his shoulder.

“See you later, loser!” he yelled, “Don’t dance too hard!”

“Don’t read so much your eyes fall out!” Hyunjin yelled back, Seungmin rolling his eyes so dramatically that Hyunjin could see it all the way from where he was. He had to admit it brought a smile to his face, enough energy to last him before he reached the studio.

He walked up to the door with a sigh, determined to keep his mind from all things Felix as he got ready to lose himself to music for a few hours.

Unfortunately, it was extremely hard to take his mind off all things Felix when Felix, much to Hyunjin’s surprise, was right in front of him in that very moment.

Hyunjin had followed the sound of music already playing throughout the studio and he’d been led into one of the side rooms where music was floating and light was cascading and Felix was stunning in the middle of the room.

Hyunjin gasped.

Felix was dancing to a hard and fast song, his movements sharp and strong as his hair whipped and his face snarled, his hands and legs moving with such precision that Hyunjin was in awe. Felix reached up with the peaks in the song and lowered down with the slower notes, his body bringing the entire song to life as he danced to the beat and moved to the rhythm and set fire to every remnant of emotion swirling throughout the room.

Felix moved like magic.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but freeze in the doorway, his mouth open and his eyes gleaming as his gaze tracked every tiny movement Felix made. He couldn’t have looked away even if he wanted to, the song was brutal and angry and yet Hyunjin felt starstruck, Felix dancing to it in a way that had the whole world fading away around him, just like it had when they’d locked eyes over the lunch table.

Since then, Hyunjin had tried so hard to replicate that feeling. He tried to lose himself to the world to take himself to the beautiful place in Felix’s eyes, but he hadn’t been able to do it. He’d tried to explain it to Chan in hopes his uncle would be able to use it in a song, but Chan had just smiled in a knowing way and told Hyunjin he already had so many songs like that, songs he’d written about his own loves.

And if that didn’t put things into perspective for Hyunjin, he didn’t know what would.

So, he stood frozen in the doorway, unable to think about the consequences as he watched Felix and nothing else, his entire world becoming nothing but the boy with the red hair and such everlasting grace.

With a fade out of gentle notes and a gorgeously-executed slow descent to the floor, the song ended and Felix stopped his routine, his only movement being the rise and fall of his chest as Hyunjin suddenly realised what it was he was really doing.

He quickly made to slip out the doorway, but his blood stopped the moment Felix’s head whipped up and they locked eyes in the mirror, surprise beating in Hyunjin’s chest but not enough to make him run as Felix’s icy gaze slashed into him.

A few moments passed between them, just the sound of their breaths filling the room. It felt like hours before Felix finally moved, turning away from Hyunjin to rub his hands over his face before he turned back to him and stared at him for real, no longer through the mirror.

Felix was wearing a loose black t-shirt over baggy grey sweatpants with red graffiti all up the sides. His shoes were nimble black trainers and his nails were now a hot pink. His floppy fringe was pinned back by three long, shiny, silver hairclips with butterflies perched on the ends of them.

The hairclips really should not have worked with the rest of Felix’s outfit, but somehow he pulled it off.

His face was washed of any makeup, his skin glistening with sweat instead of glitter and his double-eyelids blinking without the eyeliner. His freckles were bare, still somehow shining beautifully as they reflected in the mirror, still one of Felix’s biggest charming points despite all the bold choices and colourful distractions he put into his outfits.

It was a long time before either of them spoke. Hyunjin could feel Felix’s eyes on him too, raking over the messy hair and black tank top and pair of light-blue sweatpants Hyunjin had changed into at the end of school.

Felix’s gaze seemed to falter at the sweatpants, his eyes stuttering for a few seconds before what looked like it could be the semblance of a smile flickered a little on his face.

That’s when Hyunjin realised. Felix’s favourite colour.

It gave Hyunjin the courage to finally speak, “Hey,” he said, desperately hoping he wouldn’t scare Felix away this time, “Sorry about… watching you.”

Felix’s lips twitched again, so different from the fear Hyunjin had gotten used to seeing permanently etched on his face, “It’s okay, I’ve figured it was only a matter of time before I bumped into you somewhere.”

“You’ve been keeping track of me? Wondering how long you could avoid me?” Hyunjin let a troublesome grin break out on his face at the words, but they could both tell he was half-serious, Felix’s head ducking in what looked like guilt.

“Yeah… sorry about that,” he said, a hand coming to rub at the back of his neck, “I’m sorry… I kinda… I kinda get… funny… around people… sometimes.”

It was a lie. Hyunjin could tell it was. Felix didn’t get funny around people because that’s the way he was, he got funny around people because he was isolated, because there was something that made him keep people out. He had something to hide and it was so much easier to keep something hidden when there was no one to poke around.

But Hyunjin wasn’t going to call Felix out, he knew that would only scare him away again, so he just let the grin grow wider on his face, taking a step towards the boy with stars in his eyes.

“It’s okay,” he said, “You don’t need to keep running from me, not when I can definitely out-sprint you.”

Hyunjin didn’t need to look in the mirror to know there’d be mischief shining on his face, Felix unable to stop himself from smiling back as he snorted.

“Just because I wasn’t blessed with long legs like yours,” Felix said, a small piece hair falling out from his hairclips and blowing across his face as he shook his head, Hyunjin’s eyes locking on the red strand.

“They may not be long legs, but they dance pretty well,” Hyunjin took another step forward, Felix’s gaze following him as his fingertips came up, brushing ever-so-gently over Felix’s face as he tucked the hair behind his ear, Felix hardly even daring to breathe with Hyunjin’s hand so close to him, “I would usually apologise for watching you like that, but I won’t this time. That was incredible, Felix.”

Felix tried to look down, but Hyunjin’s hand, still suspended in the air, caught his chin and pulled Felix’s head back up with a gasp.

Hyunjin could hardly believe what he was doing. He had Felix’s face in his hand, so much warmth against skin, and Felix was _letting him._ There was a definite fear in Felix’s eyes, an invisible door over his eyelids that prevented Hyunjin from seeing too far in, but this was closest to Felix Hyunjin had even been, this was the closest contact they’d had in weeks.

“You’re really talented, sunshine,” Hyunjin said, voice almost a whisper, Felix staring dead into him as he flinched. It was minimal, barely even a movement, but still a flinch.

There was a new sadness swirling in Felix’s eyes, a blind panic that controlled the barely-restrained fear in his next words, “How can you call me sunshine when you’re so obviously the sky?”

With that, his fingers teased over the fabric of Hyunjin’s blue sweatpants, the touch so light and tender that Hyunjin felt his heart stop, his chest tightening by the second as, once more, everything else faded away around them.

And that’s when Hyunjin realised.

Felix didn’t just run from Hyunjin because he ran from everyone. He ran from Hyunjin because he felt the same way. Hyunjin had been obsessed with Felix from the beginning, had been captivated by his beauty and his heart and all the wonder that surrounded him. And Felix felt the same. The magical twinkle was in his eyes. Hyunjin saw it. Hyunjin recognised it.

Felix felt the spark.

It was what made Felix run so far. It was what made him so scared. Felix had so many things to deal with and so much he had to hide and he didn’t need to want to open up to someone on top of all that. Hyunjin made Felix feel safe… and that absolutely terrified him.

But none of that mattered. None of it mattered when Hyunjin’s fingertips were clasping so delicately to Felix’s face and the entire world had disappeared around them.

Felix’s hands moved up to Hyunjin’s waist, his hands shaking in fear but still gentle enough that Hyunjin felt himself shiver, letting Felix’s palms settle on his hips as they stared at one another.

“The sky doesn’t shine without the sun, Felix,” Hyunjin whispered, his words brushing like breeze over Felix’s face, “Do you… do you think that maybe we need each other?”

Felix gasped, his features crystallising with terror, but he didn’t move away this time. He was practically boneless under Hyunjin’s touch, still shaking and soft but so whole and so _real_ that Hyunjin couldn’t let go.

This Felix was so different to any other one he’d seen before. The dark, dangerous boy that stalked the school corridors was no more. The blur around the corners and the runaway were gone. Felix was in front of Hyunjin now. He was still a mystery and there was still so much to know, but the answers no longer seemed important when they had each other, when their connection shimmered in the tiny space between them.

This was all Hyunjin needed.

“I don’t know what it is about you, Hyunjin,” Felix started to say, his deep, almost silent voice sounding like heaven in the air, “But you make me want to open up. You make me want to tell you everything. That scares me, Hyunjin. It scares me so much.”

“You don’t need to be scared,” Hyunjin moved his hands so they were both cupping Felix’s face, his thumbs stroked tenderly over Felix’s cheeks, “I’m never going to hurt you. Or judge you. I just want to help you.”

The word ‘help’ had the effect it wasn’t supposed to have. Felix seemed to come back to his senses. His entire body jolted and he stepped back in a flash, both their hands dropping away between them and Felix staring at Hyunjin like he was a monster cornering a child in their room at night.

“I’m sorry,” Felix said, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as he frantically shook his head, “I’m sorry, Hyunjin. I like you, I really do, but I can’t let you help me. I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

Hyunjin blinked, the feeling of his own body gradually coming back to him as he processed the whole world returning in a rush. Felix was almost crying by the time Hyunjin recovered, panic sizzling in the air as Hyunjin quickly stepped forward to pull Felix’s hands away from his face, shushing him gently.

“Hey, it’s okay, Felix, it’s okay,” Hyunjin said, his large hands practically dwarfing Felix’s wrists, “I’m not going to make you do anything, okay? You don’t have to say anything. Just stay calm, everything’s okay.”

Felix seemed to respond to that, his crushed eyes mellowing out to something softer as he sagged once more in Hyunjin’s hold, his head dropping as he dragged in a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I know I confuse you. I know there’s things about me you’re curious about. I’m sorry you worry about me.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Hyunjin said without hesitating, a reassuring smile appearing on his face as Felix tentatively brought his gaze back up to look at him, “All I want is you to be okay, sunshine.”

Felix also smiled at the word ‘sunshine’, his nervousness glittering out to his brightness as he squeezed Hyunjin’s hands back, his body visibly untensing.

“And if you are feeling okay…” Hyunjin drew the words out mischievously, letting his eyes flick over to Felix and then to the speaker behind him, “Do you wanna dance?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading and for continuing to stick with this <3
> 
> I don't want to give away too much but this chapter is very much the calm before the storm, please enjoy the peace while it lasts ;))
> 
> I hope you liked the little woojin, chan and hyunjin and seungjin moments in this chapter. I know this is a hyunlix-focused story but I feel like Hyunjin's other relationships are still very important considering this fic is very heavily affected by all Hyunjin's thoughts and actions. I also really enjoyed writing those little conversations uwu
> 
> I hope your day was a beautiful thing. and that tomorrow proves to be even brighter <3


	5. Fingers on his Ribs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was an absolutely exhilarating feeling having your world condensed down to just one single person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiyyaa
> 
> welcome to chapter 5, this story is progressing nicely now!! a couple of very key moments in this chapter and a few revelations that may provide some answers ;))
> 
> tw: mentions of implied neglect, stay safe <3
> 
> please enjoy xx

Dancing with Felix wasn’t a breath of fresh air.

It was a full-force gale wind sweeping you off your feet.

But Hyunjin loved it. The way Felix danced was so intense, so alive, that Hyunjin couldn’t resist the adrenalin spiking through his veins. They danced to fast songs. They danced to dramatic songs. They taught each other choreography. They free-styled. They danced together. They watched each other.

They were hardly ever in-sync and their limbs crashed and tangled more times than they could count, but somehow it worked.

Feeling Felix’s skin against his own, feeling his movements through the vibrations under his feet, feeling the notes pulse brutally through both their bodies, it had Hyunjin’s heart pounding against his rib cage and threatening to burst from his chest.

Hyunjin felt so _alive._

Felix had always been a thrill, he’d always had Hyunjin’s veins tingling with mystery, but this was a whole new level. This was a whole new side to the boy with many faces.

It also somehow felt like a new discovery, like the revelation of a clue, like Hyunjin was one step closer to solving the mystery entirely. One step closer to cracking open the iron heart that was Lee Felix.

The music was breathing with them. The rhythm was panting in their lungs. The beat was pumping with their hearts. It was just them and the dance studio.

Just them and each other.

It was a several hours and even more water-bottle refills later that Hyunjin finally gave in. His limbs slumped and his body sank and he landed cross-legged on the floor, breaths wheezing in and out of him like he’d run a marathon.

“That,” he held up a hand, throat and lungs contracting heavily around the words, “Was amazing.”

Felix grinned, heavy feet dragging him along until he collapsed on his stomach in front of Hyunjin, his nose only an inch from Hyunjin’s legs, “I might have to agree with you there. I haven’t gone that hard in a while.”

The music was still swirling around them, but somehow the loudest noise in the room was still Felix’s deep breaths and raspy voice. Hyunjin didn’t know if that was Felix’s ability to capture a whole room or just Hyunjin’s ears being automatically attracted to all things Felix.

The thought made Hyunjin smile, his eyes catching Felix’s as they both laughed together, the sound somehow prettier than all the songs they’d danced to.

One of Hyunjin’s hands carefully came down to Felix’s hair, slowly taking out one of the now askew hairclips and putting it back in the right place, making sure to sweep all of Felix’s hair out of his face in the process.

Felix didn’t do anything to stop Hyunjin, just followed his movements with his eyes, blinking adorably at Hyunjin’s hand’s close proximity to his face.

“There you go,” Hyunjin said quietly when all of the hairclips were fixed, leaving just a faint gleam of sweat glowing on Felix’s freckles from where he was still staring up from the floor.

“Thank you,” Felix said just as quietly, but with so much earnest in his voice that Hyunjin felt his heart swell.

“You’re welcome,” Hyunjin smiled sweetly, his finger now drawing patterns on Felix’s cheek as the silence stretched between them once more, broken only by the ending of the song and the sounds of the city going to sleep outside the window.

It had gotten late.

Hyunjin’s eyebrows furrowed, his gaze going over to the glass. It was significantly darker than it had been the last time he’d texted Chan. He was probably getting worried.

He reached in his back pocket for his phone, pulling out the device and blinking at the time displayed on the screen. It was well into the evening; he would have to get home soon.

“Hey Felix,” he said, tapping lightly on Felix’s cheek as Felix’s eyes glazed back into focus and rose to Hyunjin, “It’s getting late, we should leave.”

Felix rubbed at his face as he sat up, his legs tucking themselves underneath him, his gaze now at eye-level with Hyunjin, “I’m going to stay for a little bit, but I understand if you need to get back home.”

Hyunjin tilted his head, a bad feeling starting to swirl in his chest as he processed the words, “Felix, it’s late. I can’t leave you here alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” Felix shrugged like it was nothing, “This place is monitored by security.”

“Yeah, but you’ll have to walk home alone,” Hyunjin responded, his voice becoming more insistent as Felix just shook his head and looked away, “You don’t need to dance anymore, I promise. Come on, let’s walk back together.”

“That’s not necessary,” Felix tried to say but Hyunjin couldn’t help but shuffle forward, closing the gap between them.

“Felix, please don’t stay,” Hyunjin cupped Felix’s face, forcing Felix to look at him, “It wouldn’t feel right leaving you here. You can come back to mine or I can walk you back to yours, but I’m not leaving you.”

“Hyunji-” Felix tried to pull away but Hyunjin used his other hand to hold onto his wrist, keeping him in place as a lightning of panic flitted over Felix’s face, “Hyunjin, seriously, I won’t stay that long. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not,” Hyunjin stressed his words, refusing to loosen his grip on Felix, “We both know the city isn’t safe at night. I can’t you leave you on your own.”

“You’d hardly be the first,” Felix spoke so quietly that Hyunjin would have missed it if he hadn’t been an inch away from Felix at the time, but the words rang clearly through his ears, a sharp breath leaving his lips as Felix pulled away so harshly that Hyunjin tumbled forwards.

Hyunjin’s hands smacked against the wooden floor, his head spinning at what he’d heard and his mouth opening before he could stop it, “Felix, what do you mean I wouldn’t be the first to leave you alone?”

Felix didn’t answer, just stalked away so his back was to Hyunjin, his shoulders tight as he crouched at the other end of the room and started throwing his stuff into his bag, his walls back round him taller than ever.

“Felix, you don’t get to leave on your own either!” Hyunjin cried as he pushed himself up, panic seizing against his skin as he ran to crouch next Felix, his fingers latching themselves onto one of Felix’s hands and stopping him from putting his phone charger into his bag.

“Hyunjin, just leave it!” Felix didn’t even look up, just yanked his hand away as his hair fell once more from the hairclips and into his eyes, “I shouldn’t have said that. I’ll just go home.”

“No, I can’t let you go alone!” Hyunjin swept the hair from Felix’s face and grabbed his cheeks, forcing Felix to look up, “I don’t care who’s left you alone before or any of that crap. It’s not safe for either of us to be alone right now, so either come back to mine or I’ll walk you to yours. I’m not accepting any other answer.”

A blaze lit between them. Felix’s eyes were bright with anger as he glared back at Hyunjin. Neither of them spoke, both of them refusing to back down as Hyunjin forced all his strength into his gaze. He didn’t care if this set him back, if this caused even more problems with Felix. He wasn’t going to let Felix walk home alone. 

There was a trickle of anger in both their eyes now, a trickle of anger that was slowly fading out. Felix had a lot more than anger caged up in his heart and the walls were struggling to stay up around all of it as what looked like resignation and devastation also swirled into his eyes.

Hyunjin wanted to give in, wanted to stand down and let Felix go in hope that maybe it would take away some of that pain in his gaze. But Hyunjin forced himself to stand firm, this was about keeping Felix safe, not about anything else, not about letting him run and run and run until Hyunjin couldn’t catch up with him anymore.

The longer they stayed staring at each other, the weaker Felix’s defences got. It was only a matter of time before he slumped in Hyunjin’s hold, a heavy sigh leaving his lips and his eyes closing as he nodded.

“We can walk back to mine,” Felix murmured, Hyunjin hating himself for the defeat he could hear in his voice, “But _only_ so we’re not alone, nothing else.”

Hyunjin could only nod, standing up and stepping back as Felix resumed putting all his stuff away, head down and face hidden.

It hurt Hyunjin to watch, but he knew he’d done the right thing.

He gathered his own stuff without a word, slinging his jacket over his shoulders and almost gasping in concern when Felix stuffed his own hoodie into his bag, standing up in just a t-shirt.

“Felix, you ca-” Felix glared at Hyunjin before he could even think about finishing the sentence, Hyunjin’s mouth shutting with a click and his eyes darting away as Felix just turned to walk off, his footsteps echoing ominously across the floor.

Hyunjin followed, feeling like a little kid trailing their parent as Felix led Hyunjin out the dark studio, barely even sparing him a glance even when he held the door open behind him.

The air outside hung with a brutal chill, wind whipping down the street and dark clouds circling dangerously low. Hyunjin shivered, hugging his jacket tighter to himself as he stared at Felix who barely even reacted. Goosebumps formed visibly down Felix’s arms below his t-shirt, but it barely even bothered him as he made a point of taking off down the road.

Hyunjin struggled to keep up, his breaths fast and rushed as his feet stumbled along the floor. He couldn’t work out how it had all gone wrong so fast. How they’d locked eyes in a moment of peace and danced like the world was ending only to end up walking in freezing-cold silence. Felix couldn’t even look at Hyunjin, his eyes dark and his mouth shut with secrets.

Hyunjin desperately wanted to ask what was going on, what was really happening in Felix’s life that made him put up so many defences, but Hyunjin knew that now would be the worst possible time in the world to ever ask, so he kept his mouth shut.

Streets all ran together and corners blurred as one as Hyunjin barely even paid attention to where they were going, just letting Felix lead him through the darkness. Hyunjin was still shivering and his nose was buried in his jacket and yet he still felt blind with cold. When Hyunjin did manage to look up all he could focus on was how the hell Felix wasn’t reacting to the ice in the air.

It was only when Felix struggled to pull open a heavy door to a rusty apartment building that Hyunjin realised where they were. They were in the poorest area of the city, at least half an hour away from Hyunjin’s neighbourhood and in what was considered the ‘rough end’.

A few things clicked into place for Hyunjin, his brain starting to whirl as he followed Felix past a broken lift and up flight after flight of stairs, the stairway being just as cold as the air outside.

It was evident there was no central heating in the building, and Hyunjin felt his heart break at the thought. It was no wonder Felix was so used to the cold; it was the temperature he was forced to live in.

They eventually reached a floor close to the top of the building with mould on the walls and flickering hallway lights. Hyunjin was so focused on it all that he almost gasped when his gaze fell back onto Felix.

Felix was walking with his head down, his cheeks flaming with red as he wrapped his arms protectively around himself, obviously embarrassed by Hyunjin seeing where he lived. Hyunjin wanted to reassure him, wanted to say that he would never care or judge, but he couldn’t think up the words. He was too shocked to even open his mouth.

They got to a door almost at the end of the corridor, both of them silent as Felix reached into his bag and picked out an old key, his hands shaking so hard he could barely fit it into the lock.

He let the door swing open in front of him, just staring into the flat for a few seconds before he turned back to Hyunjin with a shaky breath. His eyes raked over Hyunjin’s form; over Hyunjin’s hunched back and messy hair and shocked eyes. Something in Felix’s gaze softened, his walls giving way to just enough sympathy as he opened his mouth.

“I know I said I’d only let you walk me home, but I can’t let you go back to the cold,” Felix said, his eyes unable to meet Hyunjin’s as he ducked his gaze to the floor, “I know it’s just as cold here, but why don’t you come in for a bit? Maybe you could call your uncle and ask him to pick you up or something?”

Hyunjin nodded, swallowing heavily against the lump in his throat before he spoke, “Thank you so much,” he said, I’m sorry, I’ll try not to bother you or anything.”

Felix’s gaze softened even more, and Hyunjin couldn’t help but notice how adorable it made him look, “It’s okay, you don’t need to apologise. Come on in.”

With that, he gestured to the open doorway, stepping back and looking away as Hyunjin tentatively made his way in.

The place was dark, the lights barely casting any warmth into the room as the small, locked-tight windows only displayed by the gloomy night outside.

The carpets were rough under Hyunjin’s feet when he took off his shoes and the wallpaper was cracked and peeling. Most of the furniture was old and falling-apart, door handles hanging loosely off the doors and little attempts at decoration standing sadly around the place.

But, despite the clear age of the flat, it was still beautifully clean. Everything was neatly put away and there wasn’t a speck of dust in the place. The floors had clearly been swept and the pictures cleaned. It wasn’t the nicest place to live, but it was obviously cared for.

The thought made Hyunjin feel a little bit better as he wondered into a tiny living room with a small kitchenette in the corner. The sofa was worn, but still a bright shade of blue, it reminded Hyunjin of Felix as he lowered himself down to sit on it. The hinges creaked hideously against the action and Hyunjin watched out of the corner of his eye as Felix winced.

“I’m sorry,” Felix said, his gaze cast down from where he was cowering in the corner of the room, “I’m sure this place isn’t what you’re used to.”

“It’s fine,” Hyunjin forced himself to smile, “It’s… homely.”

Even Hyunjin could tell Felix didn’t believe the words, but Felix said nothing as he turned to the hallway, the tiny remnants of a smile working their way over his face.

“I’m just going to put my stuff away,” he said, giving Hyunjin a quick glance, “Feel free to call your uncle or make yourself comfortable.”

“Okay, thanks,” Hyunjin said as Felix started to walk away, a thought occurring to him as he quickly sat up, “Hey, Felix!” Felix poked his head back into the room, “Is there anyone else home?”

Hyunjin wanted to pretend he didn’t see the tiny wisps of panic that curled through Felix at the question, but it was too obvious to miss. Something in Hyunjin’s chest started to tighten. Something wasn’t right.

“Umm… no,” Felix swallowed around the words, “My mum goes out on Thursdays.”

“Felix,” Hyunjin’s voice cracked, “It’s Friday.”

Felix’s eyes flashed, fear knotting over his features before he schooled it away, managing a smile that was far too fake, “Yeah, she goes out then too.”

He was gone before Hyunjin could even begin to think of a response. His fast footsteps echoed down the hallway and Hyunjin was left feeling more than a little worry in his chest. That was the first time Felix had ever mentioned any kind of family and Hyunjin had a bad feeling about what he’d said.

There was clearly something more to Felix’s fear than just a cheap apartment. There was no way Felix could live alone. He was too young. He was too vulnerable in what was clearly a dangerous place. There was no way his mother could just leave him.

But a part of Hyunjin worried that was exactly what happened. It would explain Felix’s absences from school, his tendency to never buy himself lunch, his refusal of all teachers and friends to invade into his personal life.

Hyunjin didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but more and more pieces were coming together and they were forming a very ugly picture.

“Hey, Hyunjin, you okay?” Felix’s voice rocked Hyunjin out of his thoughts and he realised he’d been staring into space, his mind giving him too many images of Felix without anyone to care for him.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good!” Hyunjin forced the images away, trying to knock a smile onto his face as he looked at where Felix was standing a few feet away, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt, “Sorry, I didn’t call my uncle yet, I’ll do it later.”

“Oh, okay,” Felix nodded, clearly floundering for a few seconds before he found something to say, “Sorry, can I get you anything to drink? Or maybe eat? I know we were dancing for a while.”

“Yeah, sounds great,” Hyunjin said, following as Felix gestured over to the little kitchenette, neither of them saying anything as Felix once more ducked his gaze, embarrassment written all too clearly over his features.

The small light of the fridge practically lit up the room as Felix opened it, revealing very little food. There was a small cartoon of orange juice on one of the shelves and what looked like a couple of measly portions of leftovers and nothing else. Hyunjin felt a spike of pain in his chest at the sight.

Felix practically cringed, his hands still shaking as he picked out the orange juice and walked over to the cupboards to pull out a couple of glasses. There was only enough juice to fill one of the glasses. Felix handed it to Hyunjin.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have a lot,” he said quietly, Hyunjin feeling yet another crack in his chest at the horrible resignation in Felix’s voice.

“You don’t have to keep apologising,” Hyunjin said, carefully drinking half the glass before he handed it back to Felix, “Here, have the rest. I wasn’t that thirsty anyway.”

Felix clearly didn’t believe the words, but his eyes were grateful as he drank the rest of the juice, managing a smile when he finished, “I never thanked you for walking me home by the way. I’m sorry for getting all snappy with you.”

Hyunjin grinned, “I already told you to stop apologising,” he said, taking the empty glass out of Felix’s hand and carrying it over to the sink as he spoke, “I would never make you take me into your house or anything like that if you didn’t want it, Felix. I completely understand how you feel.”

Felix’s smile widened, his shy face beginning to brighten a little, “Well, thanks for being so understanding,” he looked down and shuffled his feet, “Not all people are.”

There was a definite weight to those words, a sad story hanging too desolately in what Felix had said. Hyunjin looked up from where he was rinsing the glass in the sink, carefully turning the tap off and towelling off his hands as he walked over to Felix, once more taking his chin between his fingers.

“Well, I _am_ understanding,” Hyunjin said pointedly, Felix’s surprised eyes darting to meet his, “And I don’t care about your house or your orange juice or anyone else or any of that stupid stuff. Whoever _does_ care about that is an idiot.”

“No, Hyunjin, it’s fi-” Felix tried to protest, but Hyunjin squeezed on his chin, pulling Felix’s gaze back up to him.

“It’s not fine, Felix,” Hyunjin said, his fingers starting to rub gently over Felix’s cheeks, “You’re a wonderful person, none of _this,_ ” Hyunjin gestured to the space around him, “Will change that. Anyone who thinks it does is wrong.”

Felix practically melted in Hyunjin’s hold, his eyes falling to a gratefulness Hyunjin hadn’t seen in anyone before. It made Hyunjin feel sad, how Felix had never been on the receiving end of such praise, but also happy that Hyunjin could bring that to him. It felt so right there, their skin touching and eyes locked once more.

“Thank you, Hyunjin,” Felix said, the earnest practically glowing from his voice, “For everything, seriously.”

Hyunjin just smiled with all his face, bringing them together so their noses could touch for a moment, “You’re welcome, sunshine.”

Felix just giggled, his face lighting as he suddenly brought up a finger to jab Hyunjin harshly in the side. Hyunjin doubled over, screeching at the intrusion as Felix cackled and sprinted off, his laughter echoing down the hallway and chasing after his footsteps.

A surge of mischief washed over Hyunjin, his face folding into a look of determination as he shot off after Felix, racing down the corridor to a door that definitely hadn’t been open before.

He flew into the doorway, smacking the door once more against the wall as his eyes searched the room. He couldn’t hold back the grin when he spotted Felix, just his red hair and eyes visible from where he was poking his head over the bed, eyes scrunched with his laughs.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but laugh with him, hardly noticing how bare the room was as he leapt towards the bed, diving all the way over it and landing on top of Felix on the other side.

They both squealed, Hyunjin tackling Felix so he was straddling him on the floor, his hands holding down Felix’s tiny wrists and his knees pressing into his shoulders, his face leaning down so it was a mere inch from Felix’s.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Mr Lee,” Hyunjin said, Felix desperately trying to stop laughing from under him, “I think this might make you rethink your decision.”

Felix barely had time to question it before Hyunjin was bringing his hands down, his fingers tickling against Felix’s side as Felix started to really screech. He screamed and squirmed, his body wriggling and his fingers clawing against Hyunjin’s as he shouted protests.

“No, Hyunjin! Please!” Felix managed through his giggles, sweat starting to shine on his freckles as Hyunjin just grinned down at him, his legs keeping Felix in place as his hands kept up their work against Felix’s ribs, “Hyunjin, I’m sorry! Please.”

“Say you won’t do it again,” Hyunjin said, his nose practically touching Felix’s face as he tossed his head back and forth, “Promise me.”

“I promise!” Felix yelled, unable to stop laughing as Hyunjin pretended to think about it, “I promise! I promise! I’m sorry! Hyunjin, please!”

Hyunjin giggled as he stopped, his hands moving to the floor next to Felix’s head to help keep himself up as Felix went still underneath him, his chest rising and falling with harsh breaths.

“You meanie!” Felix managed to rasp, sharp eyes pretending to narrow behind all the hair that had fallen into his face.

“I’m sorry what was that?” Hyunjin said threateningly, raising his eyebrows and all their dramatics as he brought his face yet another millimetre closer to Felix’s, “You want to get tickled again?”

“No, no please!” Felix immediately squealed, his playful smile only getting bigger as he tried to shove Hyunjin away, only to find that Hyunjin was pressing him tight against the floor.

Hyunjin had never seen Felix like this before. So carefree, so mischievous, so _intimate._

Hyunjin had to admit it was a nice sight; Felix covered in sweat with messy hair and a red face and a wide smile over his pink lips. There was a certain edge to the look, a certain tension in the air, a certain feeling curling in Hyunjin’s gut.

And just like that. The air started to thin around them.

Felix’s smile softened into a look of wonder as Hyunjin’s eyes gazed down at him, the bareness of the room forgotten as they focused only on each other.

It was another one of those moments. One of those moments when nothing mattered but them.

Hyunjin was leaning the rest of the way forward before he could stop himself, Felix’s eyes dropping down to his lips as their noses touched, their breath hot against each other’s faces.

Neither of them spoke, both of them just raking their eyes over each other, listening to one another breathe and gasp as the distance closed between them.

Hyunjin could feel it. He could feel Felix’s warmth. He could feel Felix’s love. He could feel everything falling into place.

It was an absolutely exhilarating feeling having your world condensed down to just one single person. Hyunjin could only stare at Felix, couldn’t take his eyes away from Felix, the universe was no one but Felix.

Hyunjin kept telling himself that it was just puppy love. Just a teenage attraction. But he couldn’t resist it. Nothing mattered when he was young and alone and there was a warm boy underneath him. Nothing mattered when there was a beautiful boy who carried mystery.

 _This_ was the love Hyunjin had been looking for. _This_ was the feeling that he’d chased. _This_ was everything he wanted. He had his high-school romance. He had the flowers in his chest. He had Felix looking beautiful and free and like everything Hyunjin needed in life.

So, it was without hesitation that Hyunjin suddenly leaned down and crashed his lips against Felix’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... whoops?
> 
> I felt like that was a great way to end things, I hope you enjoyed it!!
> 
> Thank you for reading another chapter of mine, I understand that ending may be a very inconvenient place to leave the story, so I'll try and get the next chapter up asap xx
> 
> please take care of yourself and have a beautiful day <3


	6. Words in his Mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few insufferable seconds passed before Felix’s entire face changed, recognition flooded into his features, fear and panic immediately seizing his body as all of a sudden Felix’s defeated posture straightened in sizzling tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya all, welcome to a new chapter <33
> 
> I'm not going to lie, this chapter was EXTREMELY hard to write for multiple reasons. you'll probably see why when you read it.
> 
> that being said, i'd say this is one of the most important chapters of this story and, as annoying as it was, I can't wait for you to read it!!! please enjoy!!
> 
> tw: mentions of neglect, stay safe whilst reading xx

The kiss sent lightning soaring through Hyunjin’s veins.

It was like fireworks erupted around them, like the clock had struck midnight and everyone was cheering and they were entering a new beginning.

Felix jolted in surprise at first, his entire body freezing before he completely melded himself to Hyunjin. He sunk into the floor as Hyunjin pressed further into him, their lips beginning to move against one another as Hyunjin felt electricity sparkling between them.

There really was no one else in the world, no other feeling to chase, no other place to be. Hyunjin couldn’t think of anything better than Felix’s lips against his own.

Felix was soft and warm and beautiful and his kiss felt like a crash of a wave on a beach, like a spark of magic exploding in the air, like the unexpected ending of a story. It was exciting. It was gorgeous. It was love.

One of Felix’s hands tangled themselves in Hyunjin’s hair, the other looping its way over Hyunjin’s back. Hyunjin tightened his grip on Felix’s face, pulling Felix even further against him as they kissed. It suddenly didn’t matter that they were lying on the floor, that there was still so much mystery between them, that Hyunjin had promised himself to take it slow.

All that mattered was that Hyunjin pulled Felix even closer. That Felix’s lips stayed perfectly on Hyunjin’s.

But it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right and they both knew it.

Felix suddenly stopped with a jolt, an ugly noise of surprise leaving his mouth as he pulled away harshly, smacking his head on the floor.

Fear flickered in his eyes, an absolute look of terror coming over his face that Hyunjin barely had time to process before Felix was standing up in a flash.

Hyunjin was thrown to the side, his limbs tangling and his body rolling as he landed roughly, yanking his head up just in time to see Felix bolting out the room.

“Felix, wha-” he tried to call, but he was still in a daze. Too much happening in too little time and Felix’s footsteps were fading away and _oh my god Hyunjin kissed Felix._

Hyunjin let out a mangled breath as he brought up a hand to thumb gently against his lips. He could still feel Felix’s warmth, could still feel the tingle in his veins. It was the only reminder left of what had just happened as Hyunjin was left lying alone on the cold, hard floor.

He forced in another deep breath, pulling himself into a sitting position as he wondered what the hell he was supposed to do. Why the hell had he kissed Felix? Where the hell had Felix gone? What was happening?

Hyunjin’s legs were still tangled underneath him, his mind spinning and his shoulders tight as he just stared at the bed Felix had been hiding behind only minutes before. They had been playing only minutes before this. Everything had been normal.

And now Hyunjin was alone and panicking in a room he barely knew and Felix was gone.

The only evidence of what had happened was the tingle still on Hyunjin’s lips, the one reminder that the kiss had actually just happened. Hyunjin cursed himself as tears sprang to his eyes, his hands forcefully rubbing them away as he shook.

He’d kissed Felix and Felix had run. He didn’t deserve to cry.

Hyunjin should have known Felix wasn’t ready. He should have known it wasn’t the time. It had just felt so perfect with them lying together and the way Felix was looking at him and Felix had actually kissed back at first and everything had felt so right with the world.

Everything had felt so perfect.

Even more tears started to work their way down Hyunjin’s face, his chest protesting against the sobs trying to break their way out of him as he dropped his head in his hands. Hyunjin thought he’d actually gotten somewhere with Felix. He thought he could actually help him. But instead Hyunjin had gone and ruined everything and he didn’t know how he was going to face Felix ever again.

For the first time ever, Hyunjin had no idea what he could say to make things right.

He curled up and cried all over the carpet, trying to keep his sobs as quiet as possible so Felix wouldn’t hear him. Hyunjin’s tears stained his face and his eyes swelled painfully but he didn’t care. All he cared about was that he’d ruined everything with Felix.

After everything Hyunjin had done to try and make Felix comfortable. After all the corridor meetings and all the times they’d met eyes. After finally getting to dance with Felix after weeks of yearning for it. Hyunjin had it all. Hyunjin had everything but then he’d gone and ruined it and now Felix was gone.

He didn’t know how long it was before he stopped crying, but he eventually managed to sit up and rub at his face, hating how puffy his eyes felt. He was absolutely exhausted from the breakdown and he didn’t want to stand up, but he knew he had to.

He had to find Felix.

Hyunjin used the bed to pull himself up, his entire body protesting against the movement as his arms screamed with aches. Just minutes before he’d been using these same arms to tickle Felix whilst he screamed with laughter and now… now Hyunjin had no idea where Felix had gotten to.

The thought almost sent Hyunjin crashing back to the floor, but he forced himself to stay on his feet, stumbling unsteadily around the bed. He had to make sure Felix was okay. He needed to pull himself together and be the strong one now.

He had no idea how long Felix had been forced to be the strong one, but Hyunjin wasn’t going to let it happen anymore. He was going to help. 

The door protested harshly when Hyunjin practically tripped into it, but he took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down as he reached for the door handle, briefly registering how Felix had slammed the door shut on his way out the room.

Hyunjin didn’t know if that was a good sign or not.

However, it was when Hyunjin turned to look down at the door handle that he spotted it. His eyes only just caught it, the little light in the room lining up perfectly just so that Hyunjin’s eyes fell on just the right place, like a centre spotlight finding the main character on stage.

There was a piece of paper hanging half out one of Felix’s drawers. It was crumpled, like the paper had been stuffed there, out of sight and out of mind, angry rips visible along one of the corners.

Hyunjin knew he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. it wasn’t his business why Felix was ripping up pieces of paper and stuffing them into drawers, but Hyunjin _really wanted_ to know. He felt like he had to know.

Hyunjin knew a clue when he saw it and that piece of paper was practically screaming to be read.

So, against all of Hyunjin’s better judgement, he cast one glance back at the closed door before diving down to kneel in front of the drawers.

His fingers pulled carefully on the paper, barely even having to open the drawer to take it out. It was ripped messily in half, whoever it was that had torn it clearly angry with the content as the rips shrivelled sadly in the light.

Hyunjin had to reach into the drawer to find the other half, his fingers clumsily folding around it as he shakily lined the two shredded edges against one another, having to flip both pieces around a few times before he could squint to read what had been written.

_Felix,_

_I’ll be gone for another few weeks. You’ll have to bargain with the landlord again to pay the rent. If he kicks you out, don’t go to school. I’ll try and find you on the streets when I get back._

_-Mum_

Hyunjin gasped. Both the papers tumbling from his hands as he crashed back, his head smacking against the side of the bed as shock reverberated all throughout his body.

Felix was alone.

Felix’s mum left him for weeks at a time. Felix’s mum left him with no rent money and no food and nothing to help him if he got thrown out onto the streets in the middle of the winter.

Anger froze solidly against the shock in Hyunjin’s veins, his fists curling with ice as he glared frostily down at the note now lying in half on the floor. Felix had ripped that in half. Felix had read that he was on his own again and had ripped up all evidence of it. Hyunjin couldn’t even imagine the pain.

He felt sympathy coiling viciously with the anger, a vile concoction that rocked through Hyunjin’s blood as the note kept on repeating itself over and over through his head.

Hyunjin couldn’t imagine it. Not having a parent to care for him, having to work alongside school just to eat, living every day with the threat of being kicked out his only home, no one to buy him a coat or give him somewhere else to live as his mother disappeared and left him without protection.

Hyunjin was _livid_.

He was shocked and upset and _livid_.

Felix didn’t deserve that. Felix had a kind heart and a warm smile and he never asked for help even though he needed it more than anyone. He talked about books with Renjun and laughed with Jeongin and danced with Hyunjin and the whole time he had been suffering. The whole time he’d been managing alone and Hyunjin had done nothing.

Hyunjin should have stepped in sooner. Hyunjin should have gotten Chan involved earlier. He should have done something.

Something formed solidly in Hyunjin’s veins, his chest tightening and face hardening in determination.

He was going to help now.

Hyunjin didn’t even think as he shot to his feet, his fingers clutching the pieces of the note as he stalked out the room, storming down the corridor and to the open living room area.

“Felix!” he yelled voice carrying through the tiny apartment, “Felix, where are you?”

There was a tense few seconds of Hyunjin just stood solidly in the middle of the living room, staring down the corridor and willing his mind to stop spinning.

But then the door to what Hyunjin assumed was the bathroom opened and Felix shuffled out. His head was down and one of his hands covered his face, but Hyunjin could tell he’d been crying. Felix sniffled before looking up.

“Hyunjin,” Felix said, his fingers scrubbing aggressively under his eyes, “I’m so sorry.”

Hyunjin almost recoiled. He’d completely forgotten about the kiss, about the reason Felix had run in the first place. Felix was already upset and Hyunjin was about to confront him, was probably about to make him cry more with the anger and determination Hyunjin couldn’t swallow back.

Hyunjin was about step away, was about to move into the living room so it wasn’t him and Felix staring at each other through their tears down a corridor. It was so pathetic, so heart-breaking, and Hyunjin almost couldn’t take it.

But what he couldn’t take more was the idea of Felix being alone anymore.

Hyunjin crumpled the note in his hand, fury once more burning inside him as Felix eye’s darted to the paper. A few insufferable seconds passed before Felix’s entire face changed, recognition flooded into his features, fear and panic immediately seizing his body as all of a sudden Felix’s defeated posture straightened in sizzling tension.

“Where the hell did you get that?” Felix’s voice was on fire, roaring with terror and anger and questions that Hyunjin didn’t want to answer, “Were you going through my stuff?”

“Felix, I-” Hyunjin’s voice was firm, his face serious as he stepped forward, but it was no match for Felix. Felix was having his entire situation forced into his face after running from a kiss that had undoubtedly spooked him and Hyunjin couldn’t stop him from interrupting with a spear of cold fury.

“No, don’t give me your excuses!” Felix stalked forward so he was only a foot from Hyunjin, “Where did you get that note? You shouldn’t have read it. Hell, you even shouldn’t be here. None of this is your business!”

“Felix, you’re completely alone!” Hyunjin yelled back, waving the note violently in front of his face, “This isn’t okay!”

“No! What isn’t okay is you practically forcing me to take you here and then guilting me into letting you in and saying you’ll never judge me before scaring me off and going through all my things!” Felix snapped, the words tumbling from him hard and fast and unstoppable as Hyunjin flinched, “I actually trusted you!”

“You trust me because I care about you!” Hyunjin didn’t hesitate to shout back, “And I still care about you. I walked you home because I care about you and I kissed you because I care about you and now I have _this_ ,” Hyunjin jarred the note through the air, the paper scraping horribly, “Because I care about you.”

“Going through my things,” Felix spoke through gritted teeth, his tongue wrapping around the words with a deadly precision, “Is _not_ caring about me.”

“And yet I’m not sorry for it,” Hyunjin shot back, Felix’s eyes narrowing dangerously, “I’m not sorry I found this note, Felix. It means I can help you. It means I can help get you out of this. You know none of this is right.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Felix’s voice was still made of iron, Hyunjin staring at him in disbelief, “It doesn’t matter because it’s none of your business. You had no right to read that note and you’re going to pretend you didn’t. You’re going to leave here and never come back. You’re going to forget about everything that happened here.”

Hyunjin fought against the slice of pain in his chest. Forgetting about everything meant forgetting about the kiss and Hyunjin didn’t ever want to forget that. Felix running away didn’t seem to matter anymore, not when it had led to Hyunjin finding his last piece of evidence and bringing everything crashing down.

The kiss seemed so small compared to the explosion that had followed it.

And yet Hyunjin didn’t want to forget it. He didn’t want to forget the warmth and the electricity and the beautiful feeling in his chest that had been replaced by brutal shock and an inferno blazing in Felix’s eyes.

Even now, Felix had such beautiful eyes.

They were scorching with rage, flashes of panic boiling in the background. Felix was terrified and lashing out. He’d been cornered and wanted to escape. He’d been exposed and wanted to hide. He’d tried so hard to blend into the background and yet Hyunjin couldn’t ever not notice his golden eyes.

Hyunjin was going to help Felix.

“I’m not going to forget about this,” Hyunjin stepped forward so him and Felix were face-to-face, his voice hard and firm as met Felix’s gaze, “Felix, I can help you. I’ve seen this happen to kids before. I know people we can go to. We can fix this.”

Something in Felix’s eyes broke, the rage and panic momentarily fading away to desperation. Hyunjin didn’t recognise it at first, but then he remembered. He remembered the looks on all the kids faces when they were first approached by a social worker, when a solution was put in front of them for the first time in what seemed like forever.

_Longing._

It was longing. Felix was longing. He was longing for what Hyunjin talked about. He was longing for an escape and someone to help him and people who could save him.

“Felix,” Hyunjin used his free hand to grab Felix’s, squeezing his fingers as he stared into his eyes, his voice practically begging Felix to listen, “Felix, please. You don’t deserve to live like this. Let me help you, okay? Let me get you out of here.”

Felix’s eyes were searching Hyunjin’s face now, the desperation shining so clearly from them that Hyunjin had to swallow against the lump forming in his throat.

“But what if I do deserve this?” Felix spoke so quietly, sounding so much younger and so much more scared than Hyunjin had never heard him, “Hyunjin, I’ve done bad things. This has made me into a bad person. I don’t deserve help now.”

“Felix, we both know that’s not true,” Hyunjin violently shook his head, squeezing so hard to Felix’s hand he was surprised he wasn’t cutting off circulation, “We’ve all done bad things, okay? But no one deserves to live how you live. No one deserves to be abandoned. We’ll still help you.”

“Hyunjin, you don’t understand,” a tear spiralled messily down Felix’s cheek, his free hand quickly pushing it away as he kept his gaze unsteadily on Hyunjin, almost pleading him to understand, “I dress like this for a reason. Everyone in my old town told me this was who I was. They all judged me and they were right to. I shouldn’t have stolen and I know I shouldn’t have done it but Mum was gone for longer than usual and I was _so damn hungry_. But they all cast me out, they gave me what I deserved. Hyunjin, I don’t deserve your help.”

“Felix,” Hyunjin sobbed on the word, eyes wide and face devastated as he felt his chest crack. Tears sprang to his eyes, Felix also crying as Hyunjin processed the words.

Felix had been abandoned by so many people. He’d gone without food and been forced to steal and had been punished by the adults who should have helped him. Hyunjin felt his heart break all over again. Solving the mystery felt the opposite of what he’d expected it to, the answers were more painful than Hyunjin ever could have imagined.

And yet, Hyunjin was so, _so_ glad he had found them.

“Felix,” Hyunjin said again, this time forcing more strength into it as he pushed the sobs back, he needed to be the strong one now, “Felix, none of that matters. I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you and it wasn’t your fault, okay? I can still help you.”

“No,” Felix was shaking his head, ripping his hand away as he started crying, “No, Hyunjin you can’t. I’m bad and you’re good. The system worked for you but it won’t work for me. My mum will be back and we’ll probably go somewhere else again and I’ll be gone and you’ll be fine.”

“Felix, _how do you know she’ll come back_?” Hyunjin couldn’t stop himself from shouting again, he knew it wasn’t the way to help but he couldn’t stop, he needed to make Felix understand, “You said your mum has been gone for ages before. She’s left you here again without rent money and without food, how do you know she’ll come back?! How do you know the system won’t work for you?!”

“You know barely anything about this situation, Hyunjin!” Felix shouted back through his tears, the anger once more starting to spark within him “You don’t get to come in and trying to change all this! You know absolutely nothing about any of it.”

“I know you need help!” Hyunjin snapped, his breath hot on Felix’s face as he took yet another step forward, closing the gap between them, “I know rent is due soon. I know you’ll be homeless if you don’t let me help you.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Hyunjin barely registered it as Felix harshly shoved him back, face glistening with rage, “Don’t talk like that! You don’t get to come in here and tell me how I’m going to live. Stop pretending you know things, Hyunjin! Stop pretending everyone gets a happy ending.”

“I’m not pretending anything!” Hyunjin’s own anger started boiling again, his temper flaring as Felix continued to refuse to listen to him, “At least I’m actually trying to help you, since you clearly can’t help yourself!”

Felix gasped, the sound awful and horrible and disgusting as Hyunjin snapped his mouth shut. Guilt shout through him. Hyunjin shouldn’t be blaming Felix for his situation. He shouldn’t be yelling at him. He should be trying to help him.

“Felix, I’m so sor-” Hyunjin desperately tried to apologise, but it was too late, Felix was already yelling over him, his voice broken and spiralling in all the wrong ways.

“This isn’t some stupid fairytale, Hyunjin!” The tears were now a waterfall on Felix’s face, his hands gesturing violently as he screamed, “I’m not some cute little mystery you get to solve. I’m not a stupid helpless person you get to swoop in and rescue. I’m sorry my life isn’t so easily fixable like yours. I’m sorry I have to steal to help myself. I’m sorry you’re clearly above that.”

“Felix, no!” Hyunjin tried to cut in, desperately attempting to walk towards Felix who kept stepping back, “Felix, please, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“Just get out,” Felix’s voice was ice, his eyes set in rock, “I don’t want to hear it anymore. Just leave.”

“Felix, ple-”

“Get OUT!” Felix’s deep, terrified voice made Hyunjin flinch, his mouth opening for a second before he hurried to the living room to grab his bag, tears streaming down his face as he scurried past Felix and out the door, trying not to think about how Felix remained standing still in the hallway, his only movement being the tears on his cheeks as he refused to watch Hyunjin leave.

Hyunjin cast him one glance before he let the door shut behind him, his heart breaking as he listened to it close.

The hallways blurred as Hyunjin stumbled down them, his feet tripping on all the staircases and his hands clinging to his backpack straps, weeping silently to himself all the way down.

The whole argument rang round and round Hyunjin’s head, Felix’s words burning through his brain and the note feeling imprinted into his hand as he just tried to process everything that had happened.

Hyunjin and Felix had _kissed._

Hyunjin and Felix had argued.

Hyunjin made Felix cry.

Hyunjin had only wanted to help. He’d failed.

The grey clouds exploded by the time Hyunjin made it outside and the rain lashed down painfully against him, soaking him in seconds as he just stood on the pavement and cried. He didn’t know where to go or what to do. He’d left Felix alone and now he was shivering in the rain, only crying harder when he thought about how much colder Felix’s apartment would be now.

Hyunjin was eventually distracted from his tears by the ringing of his phone, his fingers shaking as he pulled the device from his pocket and looked at Seungmin’s contact photo smiling on the screen.

Hyunjin sobbed harder, bringing the phone to his ear.

“Seungmin,” he cried into the receiver, “I’ve ruined everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooooooooooooooooooooo..... that was painful, huh?
> 
> please take care xx


	7. Tears on his Cheeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other end of the phone went silent, Hyunjin’s heart jumping into his throat and starting to suffocate him as he practically listened to Seungmin’s brain working to keep up with the situation.
> 
> “You’re outside Felix’s flat?” Seungmin eventually said, his voice quiet and strained as Hyunjin closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeeyyyaa, welcome to a new chapter!!
> 
> sorry updates are taking a lil' longer, the uni struggle is real 
> 
> pls enjoy!! <33

“Right, Hyunjin, I’m going across the street to Chan-hyung, I’ll come with him to pick you up,” Seungmin’s voice was the only thing keeping Hyunjin grounded as he continued to cry into the phone, “I’ll text Changbin-hyung and Minho-hyung and they’ll meet us back at your place. It’s all going to be okay, Jinnie, we’re going to help you.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but be thankful as Seungmin continued to reassure him, promising that everything would be okay and that Hyunjin couldn’t ruin anything and they’d fix whatever it was that needed fixing. Hyunjin couldn’t exactly bring himself to believe the words, but it felt nice to hear Seungmin say them out loud. Seungmin was always reasonable and just; he wouldn’t say the words if he didn’t genuinely believe them.

“Thank you, Minnie,” Hyunjin sobbed into the phone, the tears still running like raindrops down his cheeks, “Thank you so much. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Jinnie, it’s okay,” Seungmin said, his voice carrying soothingly over the sounds of him rustling around in the background, “I’m going to Chan-hyung's now. Please send me your location, we’re coming to get you.”

“Okay, okay, just please don’t ask questions about where I am, Minnie,” Hyunjin said, desperately trying to keep the sobs out of his voice, “I’ll explain everything later, I promise. Just please don’t ask now.”

“Okay, Hyunjin,” Seungmin sounded concerned and Hyunjin could tell he wanted to ask more, but he didn’t, instead doing what was asked of him, “I’ll let Chan-hyung know, just promise me that you’re safe. I know you’re not okay, but you’re safe, right?”

“Yes, I’m safe,” Hyunjin was quick to say, his fingers tightening around the phone as he continued speaking, “I’m outside… I’m outside Felix’s flat.”

The other end of the phone went silent, Hyunjin’s heart jumping into his throat and starting to suffocate him as he practically listened to Seungmin’s brain working to keep up with the situation.

“You’re outside Felix’s flat?” Seungmin eventually said, his voice quiet and strained as Hyunjin closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe.

“Seungmin, I really, really can’t explain right now,” he said, swallowing against the lump that had formed in his throat, “I know this is confusing, but please… please just come get me.”

“Yes… right, yes! Of course!” the rustling at the other end of the phone resumed as Seungmin started rambling, “Sorry, yes, I’m leaving now. Everything’s okay, we’re coming to get you. I’m going to Chan-hyung now.” The sound of a door closing accompanied Seungmin’s words, “Do you need me to get you anything? Or call anyone else?”

“No, that’s okay, Minnie,” Hyunjin managed to smile as he responded, always thankful Seungmin was only ever a phone call away, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, idiot,” Seungmin said, “I know you’d do the same for me.”

“But I don’t ever have to do the same for you,” Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel a surge of guilt at the words, the sobs once more clawing at his throat, “Because you’re never running off and doing stupid stuff and embarrassing yourself like me! You could never ruin anything like I do, Seungminnie.”

“Hyunjin,” all other background noise faded away at the other end of the phone as Seungmin’s voice rang firm, “We both know that’s not true. Hwang Hyunjin, you are loving and caring and curious and kind and that makes you beautiful. You couldn’t ever ruin anything like you said and you are _not_ stupid. Whatever’s going on right now, it’s okay. It’s okay to make mistakes and get into a little trouble sometimes. I can only ever admire you for it, Jinnie.”

“You…” Hyunjin could hardly believe what he was hearing, his eyebrows crinkling through his tears, “You admire me?”

“Of course, I do!” Seungmin sounded like the idea of him not admiring Hyunjin was ridiculous, like he had never lived any other way, “Hyunjin, you care for so many people. You take care of them and watch out for them and you don’t give up when someone looks like they’re in trouble. You’re so freakin’ clever and so great with people and you only ever use it for good. You’re not afraid to throw yourself in harm’s way to help someone. You’re amazing, Hyunjin.”

“Seungmin,” Hyunjin sobbed into the phone, his free hand pressing into his forehead as he cried, “Seungmin, I love you so much, but you won’t be saying that after tonight. I messed up. I found out some stuff and I messed up really bad.”

“And whatever it is, you are clever and selfless and amazing enough to fix it,” Seungmin sounded so sure, so certain, that Hyunjin couldn’t help but cry harder, “And I will help you and Chan-hyung will help you and everyone will help you. I can assure you, whatever you did, you had all the right intentions, and we _will_ fix it. I promise.”

Hyunjin scrubbed his hand down his face, aggressively wiping at all the tears that were still falling, “Thank you, Seungmin, thank you so much.”

“Don’t thank me, Jinnie, everything I said is true,” Seungmin said, voice still quiet and soothing before he brought it back to authoritative, knowing a confident rock was sometimes all Hyunjin needed, “Now I’m going to get Chan-hyung and we will find you, okay? Do you want to stay on the phone while I talk to him?”

“No, it’s okay,” Hyunjin shook his head even though Seungmin couldn’t see him, sniffling as he finished wiping at his face, “My phone is going to die soon and I still need to send you the location.”

“Okay, no problem,” Seungmin sounded like he was walking again, “Stay safe, okay? I’ll be with you soon.”

“Will do, Minnie,” Hyunjin said, “Thank you.”

Seungmin said goodbye before hanging up, Hyunjin listening to the beeping at the end of his phone for a few seconds before pulling the phone away from his face.

He pulled a deep breath into his lungs, flopping back onto the wall behind him and taking a few seconds to wipe all the leftover tears from his cheeks.

Felix’s words were still spinning through his mind, his eyes still swollen and the feeling of a note crinkling in Hyunjin’s hands still curling against his skin as everything played out in front of him once more.

Hyunjin couldn’t believe he’d confronted Felix like that. He couldn’t believe he’d even needed to confront Felix in the first place. Hyunjin had known Felix had secrets, but he’d never imagined something so serious, something so painful, something that’d have Hyunjin storming through Felix’s apartment to confront him.

And this was all after the kiss between them, after the beautiful feeling of lips against Hyunjin’s own. It was catastrophic how quickly everything had fallen apart, how Hyunjin and Felix had reached the highest high before brutally crashing and tumbling all the way down to the lowest low.

Hyunjin could hardly believe it. He could hardly believe he’d kissed Felix and then yelled at him and then been kicked out his house to end up in the pouring rain on a deserted street.

Everything had gone wrong so fast.

And, more importantly than anything else, Felix was still alone.

Hyunjin was still vowing to himself to help Felix. He didn’t care if it made Felix hate him for good, Hyunjin just couldn’t sit by and let Felix live like he was. It would kill both him and Felix if Felix ended up on the streets. Hyunjin just couldn’t let it happen.

He was still thinking about how to help when the sound of a car screeching through the rain reached his ears. Hyunjin immediately looked up, wincing as headlights illuminated him and flashed into his swollen eyes, the world going white for a few seconds before everything came back into focus.

The first thing Hyunjin saw was Chan practically throwing himself out the passenger seat of the car, his eyes worried and feet sprinting as he flung himself around Hyunjin.

“Oh my god, baby! I’m so glad you’re okay,” Chan’s voice was a welcome stroke of warmth carrying gently over Hyunjin’s frantic thoughts, “You’re freezing, lets get you into the car.”

Hyunjin relaxed completely into Chan’s hold as he allowed himself to be pulled over to the car, feeling hands rubbing over his back for a few moments before one of the back doors opened and Seungmin peered out with scared eyes and open arms.

“Come here, Jinnie,” he said softly and Hyunjin sighed as Chan gently passed him over, hands squeezing at Hyunjin’s shoulders the whole time.

“It’s going to be okay, baby, we’re going to get you warm and safe,” Chan said as Seungmin helped Hyunjin to sit down, pulling his seatbelt over him, “Stay here with Seungminnie, okay?”

Hyunjin could only nod, feeling his mouth pull up into a small smile when Chan’s lips ghosted over his forehead for a moment, the touch warm and gentle even though both him and Hyunjin were now soaked.

The car started a few moments later, Chan cranking the heat all the way up before quickly driving off, Hyunjin draping himself over Seungmin’s side as he collapsed into his shoulder.

It felt safer now. Hyunjin could feel his heart blooming with all the love around him, withChan throwing him concerned looks from the front of the car and Seungmin rubbing his palm next to him.

But then Hyunjin thought about Felix, about how he was spending yet another night alone and cold and probably scared of getting kicked out this morning. All after being kissed and yelled at, his emotions no doubt all over the place with no one to help him deal with them.

The thought had pain spiking in Hyunjin’s chest, his body tensing against Seungmin’s as he pictured Felix all alone.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Seungmin whispered into Hyunjin’s ear, one of his fingers coming up to comb daintily through Hyunjin’s hair, “Whatever it is, we’ll fix it, okay?”

Hyunjin could only nod, unable to put anything into words. He wanted to fix it right _now_. He wanted Felix to be safe _now_.

But he knew Felix was too scared to allow himself to be helped, was too experienced and clever with his own pain that he was too worried to live without it. Hyunjin and everyone would need time to convince him to let them into his life, and that whole time he’d be suffering like he was far too used to doing.

The thought broke Hyunjin’s heart, but he knew there was nothing he could do to change it. Helping Felix would be a cruel and ongoing and painful process and Hyunjin doubted they were even halfway through it.

But he was going to carry on.

Hyunjin would suffer like this every day if it meant Felix didn’t have to be on his own anymore, if Hyunjin got to have Felix back in his arms safe and happy with a smile on his face rather than tears on his cheeks.

Hyunjin vowed to himself he would make it happen. He didn’t care what it took, Felix needed help and Hyunjin was going to provide it.

The thought kept him going for the rest of the car journey, everyone else silent until Chan pulled into the driveway and turned in his seat to look at Hyunjin and Seungmin snuggled up together in the backseat. He was still worried, but the sight managed to put a small smile on his face.

“Come on, Hyunjinnie,” Seungmin said, gently nudging Hyunjin as Chan got out the car to hold the door open for them, shutting it after Seungmin and Hyunjin shuffled out hand-in-hand.

They walked up the path, almost at the front door when Hyunjin’s head whipped up at the sound of it being ripped open, his heart jumping until he realised it was just Changbin, holding onto the door and staring at Hyunjin with some kind of mangled mix of terror and relief.

“Hyunjin, thank god!” he said, dashing down the path to pull Hyunjin into a tight hug, Hyunjin’s head immediately falling all the way down to rest on Changbin’s shoulder, his face burying itself in his neck, “I was so worried when Seungmin called.”

“I’m okay, hyung,” Hyunjin murmured into Changbin’s neck, feeling Changbin’s arms tighten around him in response, “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Changbin said, pausing for a few moments before pulling away to look at Hyunjin, “Lets just go inside, yeah?”

Hyunjin nodded gratefully, letting Changbin’s arm sling over his shoulder as they walked back to the open door together, everyone else following behind them.

Changbin led them all into the kitchen, Hyunjin wishing he could flop down in the living room until he caught sight of Minho stood by the kettle, his back to them as he tried to stir what looked to be about six cups of tea.

Hyunjin smiled at the sight, “Hi hyung,” he said quietly, managing a giggle when Minho whipped round to face him.

“Oh my god, Hyunjinnie!” he said, dropping the teaspoon to throw himself at Hyunjin, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Hyunjin grunted as Minho hit him, taking a few seconds to adjust to the weight before he fully melted into Minho’s embrace, breathing in the scent of the one who’d practically taught him to dance as he allowed himself to finally relax after everything that had happened.

Hyunjin had his uncle and his best friend and the older friends he’d always leaned on around him. He didn’t have Felix yet, but he had to give it time. The thought brought him a little bit of reassurance.

“Go sit down,” Minho said as he pulled away, squeezing Hyunjin’s shoulder as he gestured behind himself, “I’ll bring you some tea.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Hyunjin smiled a shy smile, watching Minho go back to the counter before he turned to walk to the living room, running straight into Changbin and spluttering as a towel was thrown over his face.

Changbin immediately went to work on trying to dry Hyunjin’s hair, ignoring Hyunjin’s protests as he simultaneously guided him back to the living room.

“Hyung, I can’t see!” Hyunjin said, trying to push the towel away from his face as Changbin just continued to rub it all over Hyunjin’s head, not caring that the fabric was covering his eyes.

“Well, that’s what I’m here for, idiot,” Changbin said as he tugged Hyunjin away from where he was about to walk into what Hyunjin guessed was a wall, “You can’t walk around with wet hair anymore, you’ll get sick.”

“Speaking of which,” Chan’s voice reached Hyunjin’s eyes, his feet landing on carpet as he suspected he was finally led into the living room, “Take that jacket off, it’s soaking.”

Hyunjin squawked as hands landed on his shoulders, tugging the wet jacket off his arms and practically spinning him all around. Hyunjin blinked, the towel disappearing as the room came into vision for a whole second before he was pushed forward, landing roughly on the sofa.

“Hey!” Hyunjin said, his face burying itself in the cushion before he turned to Changbin with a pout on his face, shaking his head at Changbin’s smug expression, “That was mean.”

“You needed to sit down,” Changbin said innocently, just laughing and reaching down to ruffle Hyunjin’s hair as Hyunjin just pouted harder at him, “I’m sorry, Hyunjinnie, I couldn’t resist.”

Hyunjin just pretended to turn away, Changbin laughing at him as he made a point of burying himself in Seungmin’s stomach, sighing when Seungmin’s hand immediately tangled itself in his hair.

The two of them stayed like that until Chan and Minho both came back into the room, each carrying two cups of tea which Hyunjin sat up to take as they settled around the living room.

The tea warmed Hyunjin’s chest, the dampness of the rain finally starting to dry as he snuggled further into the blanket Seungmin had wrapped around him. He could feel the thoughts in his head slowly starting to calm down, Felix’s words still ringing through his head but not as loud now that Hyunjin had a chance to take a step back and think about it.

The evening had been a disaster and Hyunjin’s progress with Felix had been pushed all the way further back than it had been at the beginning. But at least Hyunjin knew more now, at least Hyunjin knew how to help Felix even if he wanted to object.

The silence stretched throughout the room as everyone drank their tea, and, as much as Hyunjin wanted to pretend it was comfortable, he could see the concerned glances everyone else was throwing at each other. Chan and Minho looked like they were in some kind of silent battle, both of them nodding their heads at Hyunjin as if trying to tell the other to approach the subject of whatever had freaked Hyunjin out that night.

Hyunjin knew he’d scared them. It wasn’t often Seungmin phoned him to find Hyunjin in floods of tears all the way across town in the pouring rain. Hyunjin couldn’t imagine what was going on in their heads. He needed to tell them what had really happened to stop them jumping to their own irrational conclusions.

But Hyunjin was also scared. He’d found out too much that night, he’d alienated the boy who needed him more than ever. Hyunjin would be putting Felix in a very difficult position if he got Chan to step in and help. Felix was clearly scared out of his mind, too used to having to hide that he couldn’t imagine anything worse than being found. It would traumatise him to suddenly have Hyunjin’s uncle trying to dig into everything he kept so secret, but there wasn’t any other choice. Felix was alone and vulnerable without food and without rent money. As much as he didn’t want it, he really needed someone to help him.

So, Hyunjin sat up straight and cleared his throat, holding himself back from shrinking when everyone’s gaze immediately turned to him.

He hated what he was about to do. He hated the scared secret he was about to reveal. He hated that he might be about to make Felix run away from him forever. But Felix’s safety came first, Hyunjin had to do it.

Hyunjin opened his mouth, his words ringing as clear as bells through the room, “I know what’s going with Felix,” he said, levelling his gaze straight at Chan, his eyes boring dead into his, “And he needs our help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> this chapter wasn't as action-packed as the last one, but I hope it was still enjoyable. The moment between Seungmin and Hyunjin at the start of this chapter has been one of my favourite scenes to write so far. And we will be seeing Felix again, so don't worry about his absence here <33
> 
> pls remember to stay safe. I know the world is a very scary place right now, so please remember to properly take care of yourself and take all the appropriate measures if you get sick. If you ever need to talk, my twitter dms are always open. I'm not an expert, but I can be a friendly person to speak to :) hope everyone is doing okay <3


	8. A Scream from his Throat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hyunjin, just wai-” Chan tried to say, but Hyunjin hung up the phone. He couldn’t let himself be talked out of this. He knew he was doing the right thing. He was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone that said last chapter made it seem like things were moving in a positive direction... I'm so sorry

The next day at school, Felix wasn’t there.

Hyunjin looked for him everywhere. Every bathroom, every empty classroom, every corner in the library, Felix wasn’t to be found. He wasn’t sat in his usual spot at the back of the class and Hyunjin, like usual, couldn’t focus on any of his teachers. Instead, he chewed at his nails and stressed about what could have kept Felix from school.

He tried to tell himself it probably wasn’t a big deal. Felix had been exposed last night, so it was understandable if he was lying low for a few days to try and protect himself. He probably expected to arrive to school to an army of social workers that Hyunjin had called, so Hyunjin tried to tell himself it was normal that Felix wouldn’t turn up.

But Hyunjin couldn’t stop his head from whirring. He couldn’t stop thinking of what Felix’s mother had said about Felix ending up on the streets. It was so casually thrown in the note that Hyunjin couldn’t help but imagine that it had probably happened before. Felix had probably been kicked out and had to survive on his own until his mother found him again, only for her to abandon him again later.

The thought was heart-breaking. It made the irrational part of Hyunjin’s brain want Felix in his sight right now and forever more. It made Hyunjin worry. It scared him. It made him want to help Felix straight away.

But Chan had warned Hyunjin not to. He agreed that Felix had been spooked and that made him dangerous. The slightest thing would make him run again and they couldn’t afford to lose him like that. They’d have to approach cautiously.

Hyunjin hated thinking like that. It made it seem like Felix was some scared animal, so used to being prey that he thought of everyone as a predator. And it wasn’t like Hyunjin had helped things; he’d stormed to Felix with the note and let all his emotions explode out of him, scaring Felix out his mind. It had literally been Felix’s worst nightmare playing out in front of him, it was no wonder he hadn’t showed up to school.

The realisation devasted Hyunjin. Chan had assured him that he hadn’t ruined anything, but he knew he had. He’d yelled and kissed and said things that shouldn’t have been said and it had made things so much harder. It meant Felix would hide for so much longer and be so defensive that even Chan wouldn’t be able to get through to him.

Seungmin had assured Hyunjin that his reaction had been natural. It wasn’t convenient, but it was natural, and Hyunjin shouldn’t blame himself for exploding like he had. But Hyunjin couldn’t believe that, he could still see the raw fear scattered over Felix’s face, the devastated look in his eyes when he’d made Hyunjin leave.

That wasn’t natural.

That was what Hyunjin had caused.

All the others must have noticed Hyunjin’s bad mood, because they tried to all cheer him up at lunchtime. Chaeryeong gave Hyunjin her strawberries and Jeongin showed him cat videos and Jisung kept on telling jokes that Hyunjin had to admit he smiled a bit at. But none of it felt right without Felix, none of felt right when Hyunjin knew Felix was probably at home alone with no one to feed him or make him laugh.

“Hyunjin? Earth to Hyunjin? You still here?”

Hyunjin blinked at the hand being waved in his face, jolting his head slightly as the world came into focus around him. He didn’t realise he’d zoned out again, too busy thinking about the mess he’d made.

“Sorry, what?” he said sheepishly as Renjun tilted his head at him in concern, sharp eyes clearly trying to read the expression on Hyunjin’s face.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Jinnie?” Jisung asked from where he was next to Renjun, narrowing his gaze slightly as Hyunjin turned to him, “You’re been out of it all day, even more than usual.”

Hyunjin pretended to scoff at the words, rolling his eyes at Jisung, “I’m fine, just… just had a long night.”

Neither Renjun or Jisung seemed to believe the explanation, both of them glancing at each other before Renjun swallowed and pursed his lips into a line, visibly holding back what he wanted to say. It was clear Hyunjin wasn’t up for discussing anything and neither of them would ever force him to. Instead, Renjun, albeit reluctantly, switched to what he was going to say in the first place.

Hyunjin’s relief didn’t last long.

“Do you know where Felix is?” Renjun asked, Hyunjin having to hold back his flinch, “We were talking about this book yesterday and I said I’d lend it to him, do you know where I could find him?”

Another flame of guilt ignited in Hyunjin’s chest, his throat tightening at what Renjun had said. Felix had actually gotten comfortable enough with someone that he was willing to borrow something from them, willing to let them help him even if it was just a little thing.

It didn’t seem like a big deal but Hyunjin knew it was. Felix clearly didn’t have the money for books and the idea of Renjun lending him one was so unbelievably sweet. It meant Felix had opened up to Renjun enough for them to find a common interest to bond over, and it had gotten to the point Felix was accepting offerings because of it.

But Felix couldn’t accept that offering now, because Hyunjin had scared him off.

“Sorry,” Hyunjin spoke around the lump in his throat, shaking his head and practically forcing his hair to fall into his eyes, “I haven’t seen him today.”

“Oh,” Renjun pouted, his eyes seeming to go sad for a second before he schooled it away, “I was hoping we could talk about it. Oh well, maybe I’ll catch him tomorrow.”

Hyunjin forced himself to nod, unable to say that they probably wouldn’t be seeing Felix for a while, that the adorable friendship Renjun had managed to find himself with Felix was probably ruined now.

Seungmin spoke up from where he had been watching the conversation, grabbing Hyunjin’s hand under the table and squeezing it as he spoke.

“I’m sure we’ll all be seeing Felix soon,” he said, eyes staring directly into Hyunjin’s as if convincing him, more than anyone, to believe the words, “We’ll find him, won’t we Renjun?”

Renjun looked surprised, nodding like he had absolutely no idea what was going on but was willing to go along with it anyway, “Uh, yeah, sure. He seems nice, I’m sure he’ll come back to us.”

The words were probably just a throwaway comment, just the first thing Renjun could come up with, but they spoke volumes to Hyunjin. If Renjun, someone who had seen Felix’s kindness almost straight away, had faith in Felix then Hyunjin should too. Renjun didn’t know about the situation, but he knew enough about Felix to know he’d come back and it reminded Hyunjin that he should think that way too.

Felix wasn’t just his situation, wasn’t just his fear. Felix was also a just a teenage boy with a kind heart and a warm smile and style and interests and hobbies just like everyone else. Just because he was scared it didn’t mean he wasn’t Felix; it didn’t mean he didn’t still have a heart of gold that would bring him back into everyone’s arms.

The thought was able to reassure Hyunjin a little, his fingers managing to squeeze Seungmin’s as he smiled at Renjun.

“Thanks, Jun,” Hyunjin said, Renjun looking confused before he smiled back.

“You’re welcome,” he said, seeming to mean the words despite having no idea what they were for. He just seemed pleased that Hyunjin had cheered up a little.

The response had Seungmin smiling, his laugh echoing lightly over the table before he tactfully switched topic, asking Renjun about some classwork whilst still holding Hyunjin’s hand under the table.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but be grateful. Even after explaining everything to Seungmin the night before, Seungmin hadn’t been remotely deterred. He wanted to help Felix as much as Hyunjin did and he didn’t blame Hyunjin for what had happened. In fact, he was going out his way to make sure Hyunjin didn’t blame himself either.

Seungmin was even letting Hyunjin borrow all his notes for the day since Hyunjin hadn’t been concentrating remotely. If that wasn’t true friendship, Hyunjin didn’t know what was.

He spent the rest of his day with Seungmin, leaning on his shoulder during their afternoon classes and sharing his headphones in the corridors, Seungmin trying to distract Hyunjin from continuing to look for Felix.

They were just walking out the gates together when Hyunjin stopped them, pulling Seungmin over to sit on a wall together so they could talk.

“Thank you for today,” Hyunjin started, his eyes flitting to meet Seungmin’s for a second before he looked back down to the floor, “I don’t think I wouldn’t have gotten through it if you weren’t here.”

“You would have been fine, Jin,” Seungmin said softly, pausing until Hyunjin looked back up at him before he continued, “You’re strong enough to get through this no matter what, you wouldn’t be taking all this shoulders if you weren’t. But I’m happy to be here anyway, I love you enough to always help you and I certainly love you enough to help you with Felix.”

Hyunjin smiled slightly, still feeling a prick in his chest at Felix’s name, “I know, but I want to thank you anyway, I’m sure Felix would also thank you if he was here.”

“Felix only has _you_ to thank,” Seungmin said, putting emphasis on the words so Hyunjin would know he meant them, “You’re the one who’s been looking out for him all this time. You’re the one trying to really help him now.”

“But I’m not doing it right, am I?” Hyunjin said quietly, a heavy sigh hanging in his voice, “I kissed him out of nowhere and yelled at him and scared him. I was stupid for thinking I ever could have helped him.”

“You did want any human would have done, Hyunjin,” Seungmin said, shuffling forward so him and Hyunjin were close to each other, Seungmin squeezing Hyunjin’s shoulder and staring right into his eyes as he spoke, “Felix wouldn’t have kissed back if he didn’t care about you, and he wouldn’t have had such a strong reaction to you finding out about him if it hadn’t been because he liked you so much. He’s terrified of this, Hyunjin, he’s terrified of himself and he cares so much about what you think that it only makes this worse for him. I’m not saying it’s nice for either of you, but I’m saying that you obviously care about each other, and that’s all either of you need to get through this.”

Hyunjin swallowed. He hadn’t thought of it like that. He hadn’t thought that maybe the spark between them only made things that much more difficult for Felix. Felix had so much to hide and his obvious want to open up to Hyunjin terrified him. He never allowed himself to get close to people and that became a lot harder to do when feeling an attraction to someone. Felix’s attraction to Hyunjin could potentially save him from everything, but it could also bring everything crashing down, and Felix was too terrified to take the risk.

Felix could lose everything if Hyunjin made a wrong move.

His life was held so precariously in the balance as it was. Throw love into the mix and Felix could potentially be buried under the burden that was his life, he couldn’t allow his feelings to ruin everything for him. He couldn’t allow happiness to make him blind.

So, Felix always ran.

Felix was running in that very moment. He’d been confronted by Hyunjin and now he was hiding, terrified that Hyunjin would tell someone or do something and the whole tower would topple over. Felix had an unstable shelter he used to hide from social workers and nosy teachers and potential friends who could expose the way he lived and Hyunjin had ripped that shelter away and forced Felix to run.

It wasn’t that Felix didn’t like Hyunjin, it was that Felix had so much to protect and Hyunjin compromised that. Hyunjin and Felix could be happy and together, but Felix could also be taken away and separated from his family and he wasn’t yet prepared to take the risk.

Hyunjin couldn’t say that he didn’t understand.

He’d grown up in the foster system. He may have found his special family in the end, but he’d suffered first and he understood how damn terrifying it was to constantly worry that he’d end up in the hands of the wrong people. Felix had that same fear and he’d lived with it for so much longer, it was understandable that he’d run at any sign of danger.

Hyunjin just need to show Felix that he wasn’t dangerous. He needed to show Felix that he wasn’t about to force him into the system and take him away from his mum and his home and his secrets. Hyunjin just wanted what was best for Felix. He just wanted to help.

But Felix had probably never accepted help before, so he didn’t know the difference between help and confrontation.

Hyunjin would have to teach him that.

“I think you’re right,” Hyunjin eventually said, looking up at where Seungmin was staring at him with worried eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m just… thinking about him.”

Seungmin smiled, “You’ve been thinking about Felix a lot lately,” he said, flicking Hyunjin lightly on the shoulder, “I can tell you really like him, and although that might not be enough to make Felix’s problems all suddenly go away, it’s still enough to bring you two together, and that’ll make everything easier in the end.”

Hyunjin allowed the words to sink in for a few seconds, his own mouth pulling into a smile, “Thanks, Minnie. That really does mean a lot.”

Seungmin flicked Hyunjin’s shoulder again, “Don’t thank me, idiot. You’ve done the same for me more than enough times.”

“Yeah, but I’m just glad to have you here now,” Hyunjin said, pausing for a couple of seconds before grinning and carrying on, “You’ve been so helpful, Minnie.”

“And so have you,” Seungmin said, grinning back, “Felix is lucky to have you.”

Hyunjin couldn’t deny that the words warmed something within him, that hearing Felix was lucky to have him was everything he needed to hear, even if he didn’t entirely believe it yet.

“Felix is lucky to have _us_ ,” Hyunjin said, trying to put as much sincerity into his voice as he possibly could despite all his disbelief, he paused for a few seconds before carrying on, looking up at Seungmin with adorable, emotional eyes, “I’m going to go to the studio again for a bit tonight. I think I need some time alone.”

“Jinnie, are you sure?” Seungmin’s eyebrows furrowed together, his sincere expression dropped for a concerned one, “You hate being alone, we can all come around and be there for you like we were last night if that would be better.”

“No, I think I need the release,” Hyunjin tried to sound at least a little reassuring, “I’ve had mine and Felix’s argument in my head since last night, I want to try and replace it with some music.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” Seungmin said, drawing the words out as he chewed at his lip, “You went to the studio yesterday and that didn’t exactly end well for you.”

“Yeah, well, something tells me I won’t be bumping to Felix this time,” Hyunjin muttered, his face falling before he quickly schooled it back to a somewhat reassuring expression, “But that’s okay. I just want to dance, Minnie, that’s all.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Seungmin nodded like he really didn’t want to, but he trusted Hyunjin enough to do it anyway, “Just don’t hesitate to call me again if you need _anything_ , okay?”

“I know, I will,” Hyunjin smiled, pulling Seungmin into a quick hug before hopping off the wall, “Get home safe, okay?”

“You too, you big dork,” Seungmin responded before stepping down from the wall and squeezing Hyunjin’s shoulder, “Don’t stay out too late or work too hard.”

“No promises,” Hyunjin winked, letting Seungmin splutter a few seconds before dashing off, hearing Seungmin whip round behind him.

“Idiot!” Seungmin shouted after him, but Hyunjin only laughed back, running until he was around the corner and could fall into a powerwalk, wrapping his jacket further around him as he made his way to the studio.

As much as Hyunjin secretly wished Felix would be in the studio like he was in yesterday, the whole place was empty when Hyunjin finally arrived. He walked straight past the studio Felix and him had been in and let himself into another one, briefly ignoring all the recent memories knocking at the door of his mind as he concentrated on plugging his phone into the speaker.

He cranked the music as loud as it could go, letting the rhythm sizzle in his veins and the beat pound in his ears. His body fell into the familiar movements, the music feeling alive against his skin as sweat blazed over him.

Song after song played as Hyunjin danced and danced and danced, his hair whipping around him and arms sharpening and curving and legs pulling him around the room. Everything in the world, including Felix, seemed so secondary when Hyunjin danced alone.

It was just him and the beat.

Just Hyunjin and his safe place.

Felix had temporarily been let into that safe place yesterday when they’d danced together and it had felt like the best thing in the world. But that wasn’t in the cards for the day and Hyunjin knew he would have to accept that. So, he danced some more to distract himself.

It was hours before Hyunjin collapsed in exhaustion, managing to stumble over to his water bottle before sliding down the wall, his legs against his chest and head pressed into the wall, eyes closed and mouth panting.

He felt fuzzy, like he had no energy left, like his body and mind had finally had enough of all the stress and they’d given up completely. Now the stress was running rampant through his veins, setting a fire in his body that felt like something between adrenalin and devastation.

The dancing hadn’t worked.

Sure, there had been temporary relief, but all Hyunjin had really done was tired himself out. Now his body and brain had no defence against all the worries and problems screaming at him.

Hyunjin let out a sob and buried his face in his legs. He was so goddamn tired. He was so goddamn done with everything.

He could still see Felix’s terrified face from the argument, he could still hear the shake in his voice and the fear in his tone and every word he’d screamed over those awful few moments.

And, even worse, Hyunjin could still feel Felix’s lips against his own. It had been so warm, so loving, so perfect, and then Hyunjin had gone and ruined everything. Both Hyunjin and Felix were alone now.

Hyunjin was able to sit up and wipe his tears when the sound of his phone ringing reached his ears. He was almost tempted to ignore it, too wrapped up in all the emotion stuffed inside his brain, but there was a fateful second that Hyunjin worried it might be Felix, so he scrambled to reach over and grab the phone, his chest panging with disappointment when Chan’s contact stared back at him from the screen.

A sigh left Hyunjin’s lips before he swiped to answer the call, mentally preparing himself for the conversation he was too exhausted to have.

“Hello?” he said hesitantly, wincing at the way his voice cracked.

“Hyunjinnie,” Chan sounded tired and worried all in one, his voice resigned but also urgent in the way any parents’ was when they found their child crying, “Where are you, baby? It’s almost time to eat.”

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Hyunjin scrubbed aggressively at his face as he spoke, “I’m at the studio, I lost track of time.”

“It’s okay, baby,” Chan said in return, his voice soft through the crackle of the phone, “I was expecting it anyway. Do you need to talk some more?”

“I just…” Hyunjin stuttered, his head falling down to thunk against his knees as he tried to find the words, “I know we can’t just run to Felix guns blazing, I know we have to slowly introduce him into the idea of getting helped, but I just hate that he’s completely alone in the meantime. Hyung, he’s missing school. He doesn’t have enough to eat. He could be thrown out his home any day now and we’re doing absolutely nothing.”

“You know we’re not doing nothing, baby,” Chan said, the sounds of rustling going quiet in the background as Hyunjin heard him sit down, “I have been looking into social workers all day trying to figure out what’s right for him. I'm well aware that the longer this takes, the more Felix is on his own, but if we confront him straight away then he’ll run. And if he runs and he doesn’t want to be found then there really will be nothing we can do.”

“I know, I know,” Hyunjin muttered, closing his eyes to draw in a sharp breath before carrying on, “I understand, I really do, I just hate it. I hate that I can’t get him out of that house right now. He doesn’t deserve to live like this for another second.”

“I believe you, baby, I really do,” Chan said, voice still as gentle as cotton as Hyunjin listened to him, “But, from what you’ve told me about Felix, he must be really strong. He’s done this before; he knows how to take care of himself. He’ll be fine until we can truly help him, yeah?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Hyunjin sighed, “I just wish we could do more.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what you can do,” Chan said, voice more firm and confident now, “You can come home and eat something, it’ll make you feel better which will give you a clearer head to help Felix, yeah?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Hyunjin said, pausing for a second before he let out a gasp, his eyes widening and whole body perking up.

“What is it, baby?” Chan said urgently, Hyunjin hearing him stand up quickly at the other end of the phone, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Hyunjin said, reaching over to grab his bag and pull on his jacket as he smiled, “I just had an idea.”

“Oh yeah?” Chan sounded half-relieved, half-concerned, “What is it?”

“Well, you said eating would make me feel better, right?” Hyunjin said, waiting for Chan’s noise of confirmation at the other end, “Felix probably hasn’t eaten today, so I’m going to bring him food to make him feel better.”

“Hyunjin, baby, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Chan spoke quickly, like he knew he had to stop Hyunjin straight away before it got too far, “I know you have all the right intentions, but Felix will be way too easy to scare right now. This might not work the way you want it.”

“It’ll be fine, hyung!” Hyunjin barely listened as he shot out the room, speed-walking towards the studio exit, “I’ll just grab a takeaway from somewhere and leave it outside his door. He won’t even see me, I promise.”

“Don’t you think he’d be a little unnerved by finding food outside his door?” Chan responded instantly, “Hyunjin, just come home. We can talk about this.”

“No, he needs to eat, hyung,” Hyunjin said insistently, falling into step on the route Felix had taken him on yesterday, easily remembering the way to Felix’s house, “It’ll be fine, I’ll come home straight away after, okay?”

“Hyunjin, just wai-” Chan tried to say, but Hyunjin hung up the phone. He couldn’t let himself be talked out of this. He knew he was doing the right thing. _He was._

Felix needed to eat and Hyunjin would find a way to help him with that even if he couldn’t directly speak with him. He would just leave the food outside the door. It would be fine. Felix would get to eat and Hyunjin wouldn’t scare him off.

It was a win-win situation for everyone.

Hyunjin was still smiling to himself when he finally reached the road outside Felix’s apartment building, bag of hot food in hand. He stared up at all the windows, trying to remember which floor Felix lived on when a flash of red caught his eye.

Hyunjin whipped to the side, Felix was on the same side of the road as him, walking towards the building with his eyes on his phone, having not spotted Hyunjin yet.

Panic momentarily seized Hyunjin’s heart, there was nowhere he’d be able to run away without Felix spotting him. They were on an open road with absolutely nowhere to hide. Hyunjin desperately looked around as he tried to process the fact that Felix was basically walking straight towards him and would definitely spot him.

In the end, Hyunjin just forced himself to take a deep breath, he may as well make himself known, give Felix the food and just leave. It was the only way to create as little damage as possible, a tiny conversation that would only scare Felix a little bit.

If only Hyunjin had been right.

Felix was still a few meters away, but he was close enough to hear when Hyunjin opened his mouth in a shout of, “Felix!”

Felix looked up straight away, his eyes wide and face terrified as he stared dead at Hyunjin in realisation.

There was one second, one fateful second, where they just looked at each other, fear and confusion and terror lighting between them. The world faded away once more, the memories of the kiss and the argument running rampant through their minds as they just stared at one another.

Felix turned and ran.

Hyunjin tried to call after him, the world flooding back to him in a rush, but it was too late, Felix didn’t even look before he sprinted towards the building, straight into the road.

Neither of them saw the car.

The shrill of tires squealed across the road, the noise drowned out by Hyunjin’s scream and the cry of pain that echoed around the almighty smash of glass that rained over the ground.

“FELIX!” the name tore itself from Hyunjin’s throat, the takeaway bag falling to the ground with a crash as Felix landed in a heap, his body lying bloody and still as Hyunjin ran towards him.

“FELIX!” Hyunjin called again, Felix didn’t look up this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops?


	9. Blood on his Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Felix, please,” Hyunjin whimpered, scrambling away, not wanting to touch Felix and risk getting even more blood over him, “Felix, wake up, please. I won’t try and intrude again, I won’t try and help. I’ll leave you alone, I’ll do whatever you want. Just please, please, wake up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peaks out from hiding place* umm... hello!!
> 
> IM REALLY REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT I DID IN THE LAST CHAPTER!! IT WAS SO EVIL, I'M SO SORRY!!
> 
> I'm such a slut for cliffhangers, I really can't help it. I hope this chapter makes up for it a lil', it's not the happiest of chapters but we're getting there
> 
> Please enjoy!! <33

Hyunjin barely even registered the world rushing past him as he shot towards Felix.

His feet thundered against the floor, his heart pounding into his throat as blood roared past his ears, his whole body pulsing with a horrific kind of adrenalin that set his veins on fire.

He hit his knees next to Felix, ignoring the jar that rocked his body as he instantly leaned over Felix’s body, hands flailing as he tried to work out what to do with them. He couldn’t see anywhere he could safely touch Felix without hurting him. The thought made Hyunjin want to cry and throw up all at the same time.

Felix was lying on his side, body almost curled into the foetal position with red slowly creating a pool underneath him. One of his arms was bent the wrong way and the whole side of his face was brutally scarred and bleeding. His clothes on the same side were all ripped open, revealing similar cuts and burns spanning all down his shredded skin.

His back was at an awkward angle, his body no doubt strained with his face pressed into the road underneath him. His piercings were glittering against the concrete, the blood as red as his hair, his eyeliner running over closed eyes and leather jacket tightening over the way his chest was rising and falling rapidly. It sounded disgustingly like a broken whistle, but it showed Felix was breathing.

_Felix was alive._

“Oh my god!” Hyunjin cried, a cruel sense of relief mangling in his chest as one of his hands fell down onto one of Felix’s shoulders. He whipped round to where the driver was just standing and staring at Felix with their face as white as a sheet, “Call an ambulance!”

Hyunjin didn’t check to see if the driver did as told, didn’t even finish his sentence before he turned back to Felix and squeezed harder on his shoulder, desperately wanting to turn Felix over but too scared to do so for fear that it would hurt him more.

“It’s going to be okay, Felix,” Hyunjin practically begged, his head coming down and hanging low over Felix’s ear as the tears streamed down his face, “Just keep breathing for me, okay? You’re going to be fine.”

One of Hyunjin’s tears dribbled down his neck, falling so that it landed on the side of Felix’s cheek, only adding more sparkle to the freckles that had gone drastically pale.

Hyunjin let out a sob at the sight, his whole body curling in on itself as he fell forward slightly and had to catch himself by planting both his hands in Felix’s blood, fingers curling at the feel of the thick liquid under them.

“Felix, please,” Hyunjin whimpered, scrambling away, not wanting to touch Felix and risk getting even more blood over him, “Felix, wake up, please. I won’t try and intrude again, I won’t try and help. I’ll leave you alone, I’ll do whatever you want. Just please, _please_ , wake up.”

Hyunjin’s voice was shredding as he pleaded, but Felix made no sign that he’d heard, his body remaining still as Hyunjin continued to weep, his hands fisting his shirt and eyes locked brutally on Felix’s face.

“Felix, you can’t leave like this,” Hyunjin cried, his throat ripping open at the words “I was supposed to help you, not hurt you, you can’t leave like this. _Please_.”

Hyunjin didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, his mouth spilling words he couldn’t keep up with. His mind was running a mile-a-minute, his heart shattering against his rib cage and whole body shaking as he just stared and stared and stared at the broken body in front of him.

“The ambulance is nearly here.” Hyunjin barely even registered the words of the driver as they came to crouch next to Hyunjin, their voice shaking but sounding a lot stronger than Hyunjin’s did.

Hyunjin didn’t give it any thought until the driver leaned forward, their hands ghosting over Felix.

“No, don’t hurt him!” Hyunjin was lunging forward and tugging at the driver’s arm before he could stop himself, ripping them away from Felix’s bloody body, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Hey, calm down,” the driver placed their hand over Hyunjin’s, carefully but insistently pulling Hyunjin off their arm, “I’m just going to check your friend for injuries, okay?”

“He… he’s not my friend,” Hyunjin sniffled, the tears raining harder down his cheeks as he watched the driver give Hyunjin a look before slowly turning to run their hand down Felix’s back, “I kissed him. I kissed him and then I yelled at him and I said things I shouldn’t have and then I scared him and now… now he’s hurt and _oh my god,_ _I don’t know what to do, oh my god._ ”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” the driver looked up, gaze somehow steady despite the boy bleeding under their fingertips, “To me, it sounds like this boy is a little more than a friend and you’ll be able to tell him all that when he wakes up, yeah?”

“He’s going to wake up?” Hyunjin hated how hopeful his voice sounded, hating the sob that accompanied it when the driver nodded.

“He’s hurt, but I can’t feel anything serious,” they said, shifting Felix onto his side and watching as Hyunjin dived forward to catch Felix’s head as it lolled awkwardly, “He’s going to be fine.”

Hyunjin burst into tears all over again, his hand still cupping the back of Felix’s head as he leaned down and buried his face into Felix’s hair, sobbing into the red locks and drenching them with his tears.

Felix was going to be fine.

Hyunjin’s back rippled and throat tightened and ribs jolted as he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, his fingers feeling the way Felix’s neck was breathing under him. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world, Felix’s breath twisting against Hyunjin’s face.

It was just like the way they’d been when they’d kissed, when Hyunjin had looked into Felix’s eyes and known he was the most important person in the world, when the warmth had circled them and their gazes had drawn each other in and they could both feel every breath the other took.

But it wasn’t warm this time. It was freezing cold. And Felix’s breath was too fast and his body was too still.

Hyunjin sobbed harder.

“I’m sorry, Felix,” he whispered around his tears, his shoulders shaking as he tightened his grip on Felix’s face, “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done. I’m so sorry you’re hurt. I’m so, _so_ sorry.”

Hyunjin could have sworn that he felt something at the words, his veins suddenly warming, his head whipping up and mouth gasping as he’d stared down at Felix.

He could have sworn he’d felt Felix twitch, felt Felix’s heart jump, felt Felix’s lips move, felt Felix do _something_ to indicate that he’d heard.

“Felix?” Hyunjin said, eyes darting all over Felix, “Felix, can you hear me?”

Hyunjin didn’t have time to wait for answer. He was suddenly all too aware of the sound of sirens all around him and it was only seconds before he was ripped away, a scream leaving his throat as he fell back onto the road, his spot next to Felix being taken by someone in an ambulance uniform.

“No, wait!” Hyunjin scrambled up, his heart running a marathon in his chest, “He was talking to me! He was answering! I need to be with him!”

Hyunjin desperately tried to push past one of the doctors, but he was tugged back by the driver, screaming and crying at them to let him go.

“No, no please!” Hyunjin cried, “I need to be with him! I need to be there, he was speaking to me!”

“It’s okay, kid, it’s okay,” the driver was saying into Hyunjin’s ear, “You can speak to him later, yeah? You can stay with him, you just have to left the doctors help.”

“But… but he heard me,” Hyunjin’s voice faded out, reduced only to a broken whimper as he practically collapsed in the driver’s arms, eyes locked on the little bit of Felix he could see through all the doctors leaning over him, “He heard me. He’s going to think I left him. I can’t leave him now.”

“He’ll understand,” the driver said quietly, their hand rubbing soothingly over Hyunjin’s shoulder as they loosened their grip, “From what I can see of you, he’s the type to know you’ll never leave him, but you’ve got to be strong for him now, yeah? You’ve got to let their doctors do their job so you can speak to him whenever you want in the future, so that he’ll be okay enough to wake up and speak to you himself.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but nod, still choking on his tears as the words washed over him, “Felix… Felix doesn’t deserve this,” he whispered, still not taking his eyes off Felix even when the driver shifted behind him.

“I’m sure he doesn’t,” Hyunjin heard the driver swallow heavily, moving their arms to wrap around Hyunjin’s middle and pull him into a back-hug, “But he’s lucky to have you with him now. He deserves you. He deserves to have you help him recover.”

Tears blurred distortedly through Hyunjin’s vision, his chest panging with pain. Did Felix deserve Hyunjin? Did Felix deserve someone better to run to his injured side than the person who had practically forced themselves into his life?

Hyunjin thought Felix definitely deserved better. After everything Hyunjin had put him through, Felix deserved someone so much better to be with him during his time of need.

But then Hyunjin’s mind ran to Felix’s mother, to the people in Felix’s old town who’d outcasted him after Felix had stolen to eat. Maybe, Felix did deserve Hyunjin. Maybe, Felix deserved Hyunjin a lot more than his own mother who hadn’t been home to protect Felix from all the dangers of world.

Hyunjin could picture it all too well, Felix being run over when he was alone, no one to call after him, no one to miss him, no one to care as he bled all over the ground. That would break Felix’s heart. Hyunjin was suddenly glad he was there, no longer wanting to be anywhere else in the world other than by Felix’s side no matter how matter how hard it was.

“Are you going to ride with him in the ambulance, kid?” Hyunjin was pulled out his thoughts by the driver speaking in his ear, sounding gentle but insistent as Hyunjin quickly blinked the tears out his eyes.

There was a paramedic stood over both of them, looking down at Hyunjin expectantly. Hyunjin nodded like a bobblehead, his neck practically snapping at the force.

The paramedic smiled kindly, holding out a hand to help Hyunjin up as the driver lifted him up from the back, “You can ride with him, but you’ll have to stay out our way, okay?”

Hyunjin nodded again, the paramedic laughing softly as Hyunjin quickly followed them, looking over his shoulder at the driver, “Thank you, I’m sorry.”

The driver just saluted, “I’ll see you later, kid. Take care of your friend, make sure he becomes your boyfriend when he wakes up.”

Hyunjin didn’t have time to answer, his eyes widening and body tightening in shock as he was pulled into the ambulance and the doors shut behind him. He turned to stare at Felix lying still on the bed, still looking pale but a lot of the blood having been wiped off his face.

_Boyfriend._

The word played itself over and over in Hyunjin’s head, somehow louder than the shattering glass and screech of tires Hyunjin still had running through his mind. Could Felix be Hyunjin’s boyfriend? Sure, they obviously liked each other, and Hyunjin had truly felt something that time they’d kissed, but boyfriends? High school sweethearts? _Could they…?_

Hyunjin quickly shook his head, forcing himself to lean against the vehicle wall and take a deep breath as he turned back to the doctors who were tending to Felix.

A car had literally just hit Felix and all Hyunjin was caring about was boyfriends. He clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palm and face scrunching as he forced his mind to shut up. He just needed to make sure Felix got better. He could worry about everything else later.

He stayed silent the whole journey to the hospital, his veins seizing with horror as he watched the doctors repeatedly poke and prod at Felix. They ripped open the rest of his shirt to reveal the rest of the damage, Hyunjin having to resist gagging at the bruises and road-burn all over Felix’s torso.

That wasn’t even mentioning how Felix’s breathing was getting faster and raspier by the second, an oxygen mask being tightened over his face that soon filled with red as Hyunjin felt his face once more soak with tears.

The doctors were doing everything they could, applying bandages and assessing for damage and one of them even holding Felix’s hand as they got closer and closer to the hospital, all of them being thrown around in the ambulance moving at breakneck speed.

Hyunjin couldn’t even describe the way he was feeling, couldn’t even think about wading through the vile concoction of terror, disgust and distress knotting horribly in his mind. He could feel his blood running cold, his heart stuttering in fear, his ribs straining to protect the way his lungs were pumping.

By the time they made it to the hospital, Hyunjin was a wreck. The word _boyfriend_ was still mixing with the horror in his veins and the confusion was startling, his brain not able to keep up as the ambulance parked messily and the paramedics threw the doors open.

Hyunjin stumbled to keep up with the stretcher Felix was being wheeled on, not understanding enough of the words the paramedics were saying to get a proper grasp on Felix’s condition.

All Hyunjin could do was hope that the driver was right, that Felix would be okay.

He stayed with Felix for as long as he could, his breath catching when a hand on his shoulder stopped him, turning him around to face a nurse with a sympathetic smile and a soft face.

“I’m sorry, honey, but we can’t let you go any further,” she said, letting Hyunjin turn back for a few seconds to watch Felix disappear behind a set of doors before she carefully tugged his gaze back towards her, “You’ve got to let the doctors help him now.”

Hyunjin choked out a sob, a hand coming to cover his mouth as he tried to speak around the way his throat was closing, “But… but what if he needs me?”

“You’ll be able to see him soon,” the nurse said kindly, stepping forward to place a delicate hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder, “He’s in good hands. But in the meantime, why don’t we go get you cleaned up? So, you can look nice when you get to see him later.”

Hyunjin took a couple of seconds to process the words, not understanding them until he looked down at himself. His hands were completely red with dried blood, his jacket stained and crumpled and more drops of red marking the skin of his neck.

A gasp left Hyunjin’s lips, his breath stuttering as he nodded, suddenly feeling the need to get the blood off him _now._

The nurse seemed to understand, her face becoming determined as she started to lead Hyunjin down the corridor. She pulled expertly him around all the people in the way, stopping him from bumping into anyone before coming to a door and leading Hyunjin into an empty room with a sink in the corner.

She sat Hyunjin down in a chair, grabbing a clean cloth before rinsing it under the water and turning to him.

“Alright, honey, I’m just going to clean you up now,” she said gently, waiting until Hyunjin nodded before lightly scrubbing the cloth down Hyunjin’s face, “I’m Jeongyeon. What’s your name?”

“Hyunjin,” Hyunjin choked out, wringing his hands together as the warm water soothed the skin of his face.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Hyunjin,” Jeongyeon said, a kind smile gracing her face, “And the boy you came with, what’s his name? Is he your friend?”

“That’s Felix,” Hyunjin said, wanting to say more but not being able to, turning to Jeongyeon with a helpless look in his eyes as she rinsed the cloth again and moved down to Hyunjin’s neck.

“Felix,” she said the name like it was the most precious diamond in the world, somehow seeming to know exactly what Hyunjin needed to hear, “That’s a funny name.”

“He’s from Australia,” Hyunjin said, grateful for the distraction as Jeongyeon smiled encouragingly at him, “He started at my school a while ago. We were kinda friends, but then I did a load of things I shouldn’t and we fought and, I don’t know, I just… I just really want him to be okay.”

“Sounds like you really care about him,” Jeongyeon said, carefully standing Hyunjin up so she could help him wash his hands in the sink, “It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past. What matters is that you’re here for him now during the worst. That’ll be enough for the two of you.”

“But I wasn’t enough to stop him getting hurt,” Hyunjin said, his voice breaking at the words.

“Hyunjin,” Jeongyeon tilted Hyunjin’s head down so he could watch all the blood being rinsed off his hands, “This wasn’t your fault. Felix is lucky to have you here for him now. You’ll both be able to get through this, together.”

Hyunjin stared down at the sink, watching as all the red slid off his fingers and disappeared down the drain, leaving behind soft skin and a pristine sink.

“There you go,” Jeongyeon said, squeezing tenderly at Hyunjin’s hands, “All better.”

There was some part of Hyunjin that couldn’t help but agree, his chest warming slightly at the thought. He wasn’t going to leave Felix; he was going to stay and make sure he was okay.

“I’m going to get you to the waiting room now,” Jeongyeon started to lead Hyunjin away from the sink, one of her arms still over Hyunjin’s shoulders as she used her other arm to towel-dry Hyunjin’s face, “I’ll sit you down and make you some tea.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin said, leaning into the touch and trying to focus on that instead of all the hospitals corridors around him, “Really, you’ve helped a lot.”

Jeongyeon grinned, “It was my pleasure, honey,” she said, “You’ve done so much for your friend, it was the least I could do.”

Hyunjin smiled back, letting Jeongyeon squeeze his hands again as she showed him to a waiting room and sat him down, opening her mouth again to speak once Hyunjin was fully settled, “Is there anyone you could call whilst I make you tea? Any parents or friends who could come sit with you?”

Hyunjin’s face fell, his chest tightening all over again when he realised he’d hung up on Chan earlier and hadn’t texted Seungmin like he promised. They were probably really worried, neither of them aware that Hyunjin was currently sat in a hospital waiting room.

“Yeah, I’ll… I’ll call them now,” he said, his eyes glazing over as he thought of them, “Thank you.”

“No problem, honey,” Jeongyeon said, “I’ll be right back.”

Hyunjin pulled his phone out his pocket as he watched her go, wincing at all the missed calls and text messages on his screen. His fingers shook as he clicked on Chan’s contact, lifting the phone to his ear with a deep breath.

“Hyunjin?” Chan’s worried voice carried through the phone straight away, “Hyunjin, did you give Felix the food? Are you okay?”

Hyunjin blinked. He’d completely forgotten about the food, about what had led him to Felix in the first place. There was a voice in the back of his head telling him that maybe Felix never would have gotten hurt if Hyunjin hadn’t showed up, but Hyunjin forced it down. All he’d been doing was try to help, Jeongyeon and the driver had helped to reassure him that.

“I’m at the hospital, hyung,” Hyunjin said, trying to keep his voice steady, “Felix is… Felix is hurt.”

“What?” Hyunjin could hear Chan rushing in the background, “Is he okay?”

“I don’t know, I think so,” Hyunjin said, “Could… could you just come here, hyung? It could be a while and I don’t want to be alone.”

“Baby, I am practically already in the car,” Chan said, sounding almost offended that Hyunjin would think otherwise, “I’ll be there soon, okay baby?”

“Thank you, hyung,” Hyunjin said, wiping his eyes, “Could you text Seungminnie for me? He’s probably worried.”

“Will do,” Chan said immediately, “Will you be okay on your own whilst I drive? Or do you want to stay on your phone?”

“It’s okay, hyung,” Hyunjin said, looking over to where Jeongyeon was stood by a coffee machine at the other end of the room, “One of the nurses is staying with me.”

“That’s good, baby, I’ll be right there, okay?” Chan said, sounding somewhat relieved at the words.

“Okay, hyung,” Hyunjin responded, “Goodbye.”

Hyunjin waited for Chan also to say goodbye before hanging up, a sigh dragging itself heavily out his lips as he let his head hit the wall behind him, feeling all the adrenalin finally leaking out of him and leaving him with an undeniable sense of exhaustion.

But as much as Hyunjin wanted to, he knew he couldn’t fall asleep. He had to be there in case Felix needed him. He needed to be there in case a doctor wanted to talk about Felix’s condition.

Hyunjin knew that was usually a conversation that would take place with Felix’s family, but, as far as Hyunjin knew, Felix didn’t have any family that would be showing up. His mum consistently left him alone and Hyunjin doubted there was any other family Felix had or they would have taken him away from his mum by now.

There was almost a part of Hyunjin that wanted to try and contact Felix’s mum, knowing that Felix’s accident was something she deserved to know about. But Hyunjin doubted she’d care. Even if Hyunjin did manage to get her number off Felix’s phone, he didn’t think she’d answer anyway since she clearly didn’t answer any of Felix’s phone calls whenever she disappeared.

The thought angered Hyunjin. Felix was hurt and unconscious with no family to care for him, no one except a school friend who’d desperately tried to help him even when it wasn’t wanted. Hyunjin knew he probably wouldn’t be able to visit Felix straight away since he wasn’t family, but he vowed to do so anyway. He’d never been afraid to bend the rules in the name of friendship, he wasn’t going to change that now.

Jeongyeon seemed to see that in Hyunjin when she brought the tea over, her eyes twinkling knowingly.

“I know you really want to see him,” she said, letting her fingers brush over Hyunjin’s slightly as she handed him the mug, “But just be careful, yeah? This is a very delicate situation.”

“I know,” Hyunjin nodded, having admittedly been taught many lessons about being careful over the last few weeks, “I just… I still need to be there for him. He doesn’t really have anyone else, I get a little protective sometimes.”

Sadness filled Jeongyeon’s eyes for a moment, her lips pursing before she spoke again, “I understand. You’re obviously the perfect person to take care of him. I know it’s not really my business, I just don’t want either of you to get hurt even more.”

“I know, and I really appreciate it,” Hyunjin managed a small smile, “Everyone’s been so lovely to me about all this, I just wish I could make Felix see that.”

“You will,” Jeongyeon said with absolute certainty, “The fact that you’re here will mean a lot to him. And, hey, whilst he’s here he won’t be able to run away from you anymore. He might actually have to listen to you for once.”

Hyunjin grinned, meeting Jeongyeon’s almost-mischievous eyes, “That’s true.”

“You’ll both be fine, I can see that in you,” Jeongyeon said with a smile, “Now I have to get back to work. It was nice talking to you, Hyunjin. If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to come find me or ask someone else.”

“Thank you so much,” Hyunjin said, his grin falling away to earnest, “Really.”

“It’s okay, honey,” Jeongyeon said, “I’ll try to check on your friend later. Everything will be okay until then.”

Hyunjin nodded as Jeongyeon walked away, her words circling through his mind.

_Everything is going to be okay._

Hyunjin thought of the driver gently checking over Felix, of Jeongyeon promising to watch over him, of Chan on his way to take care of things.

Hyunjin smiled. Maybe everything really would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> Once again, please don't kill me for hitting Felix with a car, we're getting to all the fluffiness I promise
> 
> Also, not-so-fun fact: in my original plan for this story, Felix never got run over. I was literally writing their huge argument in chapter 6 and thinking about how I was going to bring them back together and yeah... my brain just told me to hurt them. I wasn't going to add it to the plot at first, but my evil writer brain refuses to be ignored sometimes...
> 
> so, yeah, sorry about that!! There's some fluffiness approaching soon, I promise <33
> 
> pls stay safe and healthy during this time, I hope my stories are helping to bring some people hope and entertainment during this trying time. always take care of yourself <3


	10. A Bed at his Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yep, and you know what the afternoon means,” Chan grinned, Hyunjin just staring at him blankly when he paused. “Visiting hours!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all, i hope everyone is safe and doing okay <3
> 
> I'm here with a new chapter, it's a lil' short but it's got some sweetness, it's a little reprieve for the pain I've put you through in the last few chapters ;)
> 
> please enjoy!! <333

The rest of the night passed in a slow, quiet manner.

Hyunjin was curled up in one of the waiting room chairs with his head on Chan’s shoulder, numerous cups of coffee going cold next to them.

Neither of them had talked in a while, both of them somehow content with quietly sitting with their own thoughts as they all processed the events of the night. Hyunjin knew Chan would be willing to listen if he wanted to get his emotions out, but he was too exhausted to even think up the words. So instead he stared at the plain waiting room floor, hoping for something that he didn’t know would ever come.

Chan had informed the doctors that they were all there for Felix, but they hadn’t heard anything. Hyunjin suspected it was because they weren’t legally tied to Felix. They weren’t his family or guardians, so he doubted the doctors would tell them anything.

Yet, Hyunjin still somehow managed to stay hopeful, knowing Jeongyeon was still out there looking out for Felix and the fact that Hyunjin had been present at the accident had to mean something. He’d have to hear about Felix’s condition some way or another, he couldn’t stand just thinking of Felix as a bloody body on the road.

Chan had done his best to talk to the doctors, but to no avail. He'd been shocked when they’d found out what happened, immediately rushing to reassure Hyunjin that it wasn’t his fault and Felix would be okay. Hyunjin wasn’t sure how much he believed the words, but he was still relieved to hear them.

But now, he just wanted to hear Felix’s voice.

He’d been so sure that Felix had been trying to communicate with him before the ambulance had arrived. He’d felt something from Felix, he’d felt something between them that he couldn’t forget.

And, while Hyunjin knew very little about Felix, he still felt like he knew enough. He knew what it felt like to have Felix’s lips against his own. He knew what it felt like to have Felix’s pulse thrumming under his fingertips. He knew what it felt like when Felix was angry, when Felix was upset and, now, when Felix was hurt.

Hyunjin needed to be there for Felix.

He needed to be at Felix’s bedside, holding his hand and telling him it would be okay, telling him he wouldn’t leave him no matter what. Felix couldn’t run when he was hurt, so Hyunjin would hold him and help him recover until he could stand on his own two feet again, until he could make his own decision about where he wanted to be.

Then, if Felix ran again… Hyunjin wouldn’t be able to stop him anymore. But, as much as it would hurt, Hyunjin at least wanted Felix to have the choice.

“Hey,” Hyunjin looked up at the slight nudge to his shoulder, blinking his thoughts away and pulling his gaze from the floor up to where Chan was standing over him, holding out yet another cup of over-sweetened coffee.

“Thanks,” Hyunjin murmured, sitting up to take the cup and bring it to his lips. The liquid burnt his tongue, but Hyunjin barely even flinched. The scald was grounding and probably nothing compared to the pain Felix was in, so Hyunjin took it.

“We should be hearing something soon,” Chan said, quietly but firmly, “They can’t keep quiet about Felix’s condition forever.”

Hyunjin watched yet another doctor flit through the room, eyeing the clipboard in their hands and all the paperwork and rules that the hospital abided by, “But we’re not family,” Hyunjin said, “They can keep quiet to us for as long as they want.”

Chan hummed, concerned eyes staring at the door the doctor disappeared behind before swivelling back over to Hyunjin, an unreadable expression on his face, “That’s what worries me.”

Hyunjin tilted his head, a nasty feeling starting to swirl in his chest, “What do you mean?”

Chan sighed a heavy sigh, running a hand over his face before meeting Hyunjin’s gaze and sitting down next to him again, “I think it would be naïve of us to think that the hospital wouldn’t have already tried to call Felix’s family. He was in an accident and none of his relatives have showed up, so it would be understandable for the staff to try and contact them.”

“Wait,” Hyunjin cut in, his mind starting to put the pieces together as he realised he’d been stupid to not think about this before, “So they would have called Felix’s mother?”

“They would have called whoever’s registered as Felix’s closest kin,” Chan said, carefully tangling his fingers with Hyunjin’s as he continued his explanation, “We don’t know who that is, but it would be logical to assume that it is his mother or maybe another family member of his that we don’t know about.

“But what we do know is that Felix doesn’t exactly have a family that’s there for him,” Chan carried on, making sure to look Hyunjin in the eye, “And he’s done a very good job of hiding that so far, but if his mother or whoever doesn’t answer their phone or doesn’t come to the hospital to check on Felix, then he won’t be able to hide it anymore. Not from a hospital bed surrounded by doctors who probably have a lot of experience in this kind of thing.”

“Oh my god,” Hyunjin whispered, his chest tightening in a way that was suffocating, “They’ll call Child Protective Services.”

Chan squeezed at Hyunjin’s hand, making a point of shifting closer to comfort him, “I think that’s very likely at this point.”

“But Felix would hate that!” Hyunjin couldn’t help but shout, frantically turning his head between the two of them, “You know that he’s easily spooked! He’s already traumatised enough from the argument with me and then getting hit by a freakin’ car!”

“We know, baby, we know,” Chan tried to calmly place his hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders, using a placating tone of voice that would usually help Hyunjin, but now only served to accelerate his heartbeat faster, “We’ll do everything we can to help with this. We have leverage in the system from adopting you, we have knowledge and experience that can help.”

“But you said we had to help him by taking it slow!” Hyunjin pulled away from him, feeling his veins seize with panic as he processed what he was saying, “He’s going to hate this! He’s going to hate this so much!”

“Baby, calm down,” Chan tugged Hyunjin back towards him, no longer using a soft voice as he tugged Hyunjin’s gaze to his face, staring directly at him, “Things have changed now that Felix is hurt. We can’t take things slow now that his life and his health are at risk. Yes, it’s going to be hard for him, but the both of us are here to try and make it easier. We’re not going to let anything bad happen to him anymore.”

Hyunjin tried to process the words, his heart still pounding but his body starting to relax as Chan held him, “I’m sorry, I get it. I just… I just can’t see him get hurt anymore.”

Chan smiled with both dimples, running a hand over Hyunjin’s cheek, “You have the same look in your eyes that I did when I first met my highschool crush. That’s enough for me to know that I should care about him and cherish him just like I do for you.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but smile at the words, the beating of his heart starting to fade out to something warmer.

“I know this isn’t easy for either you or Felix,” Chan said as he met Hyunjin’s eyes with the kind of smile that always made something fuzzy tingle in Hyunjin’s chest, the kind that had first let him know he had been adopted into a loving family, “But I hope you know that you have my full support and blessing. I'm going to fight for the two of you just as hard as you fight for each other.”

Hyunjin looked down shyly, wringing his fingers together, “Felix doesn’t… Felix doesn’t fight for me.”

“Oh baby,” Chan smiled, “That boy wouldn’t have kissed you back and fought with you and ran so hard from you if it meant nothing. Didn’t Seungmin say that it’s just his reaction to the fact he likes you so much?”

Hyunjin spluttered, giving Chan a playful shove as his cheeks blazed in embarrassment.

“I know it’s not good,” Chan grinned, “He’s got so much on his plate that you showing up in his life obviously didn’t help things. But, hey, maybe it’s good for him to get to worry about boys for once. It’s definitely a lot nicer than everything else he has to worry about in his life.”

A small giggle left Hyunjin’s lips at the words, his gaze shyly coming up to stare at his uncle through his fringe, thankful to just be able to talk about boys with him again, “Thank you. Always.”

Chan pressed his lips against Hyunjin’s forehead, beaming at him with a fond look spread over his face, “Don’t thank me, baby. It’s what I'm here for.”

. . .

Hyunjin didn’t realise that he’d fallen asleep half-draped over Chan's lap until his shoulder was being shaken hours later.

He rubbed at his eyes with a groan, slender fingers wiping the sleep off his face as Chan cooed at him and ruffled his hair. Hyunjin only whined at him, batting his hand away as he tried not to think about how messy his hair had gotten since the accident and the ambulance ride and the naps on uncomfortable chairs. He must look a mess.

Luckily, Chan had driven home for a little bit to pickup Hyunjin some new clothes, so at least he wasn’t in his blood-stained t-shirt and jacket anymore. Hyunjin wouldn’t feel too bad about the messy hair if he was still wearing those.

“Morning, sunshine,” Hyunjin was still rubbing his face when the words reached his ears, his brain supplying him with the knowledge that it probably wasn’t morning anymore.

“It’s the afternoon,” he mumbled in response, finally looking up at the little giggle Chan let out.

“Yep, and you know what the afternoon means,” Chan grinned, Hyunjin just staring at him blankly when he paused. “Visiting hours!”

Hyunjin shot up in his seat, nearly bumping heads with Chan in the process, “Does that mean I get to see Felix?!”

“Considering there’s no one else here to visit him, we don’t see why not,” Chan said, pushing Hyunjin’s hair out his eyes when Hyunjin whipped up to face him.

There was a slight pang in Hyunjin’s chest at the thought that Felix had no one else there for him, but Hyunjin pushed it down, telling himself that that’s what he was there for. That he could get to see Felix now.

“How long until visiting hours start?” Hyunjin asked.

“Just five minutes,” Chan said, laughing as Hyunjin quickly scrambled to fix his hair, “Hey, baby, you look fine! Calm down! You can’t go in all panicked like this”

Chan pushed Hyunjin’s hands away to brush his hair down himself, “You’re going to be fine.”

“Wait,” Hyunjin looked up, ignoring Chan’s groan when he just ruined his hair all over again, “You’re not coming in with me?”

Chan sighed, giving Hyunjin a thoughtful look to let him know he was serious, “I know you two have a lot to talk about, and I think it would be even more intimidating for him if his first meeting with the uncle of the boy he likes was in a hospital bed.”

Hyunjin felt his mouth drop open. He hadn’t imagined that his first meeting with Felix would be alone.

“I will probably have to go in and see him at some point,” Chan carried on, “But his first visitor should be you, just you. I don’t want to get into all that social worker stuff straight away, I want to make sure he’s okay first. And seeing you instead of a load of adults will help him with that.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but nod, undeniably understanding the words despite how intimidated he was at the idea of walking into the hospital room on his own, “Okay.”

Chan and smiled, grabbing one of Hyunjin’s hands to squeeze before a nurse walked into the room, calling out for anyone wanting to visit Felix.

Hyunjin swallowed as he stood up to follow her, giving Chan one last look before walking off. He tried to tell himself that this was what he had been waiting for. This was finally his chance to know how Felix was. This was finally the time he’d be able to replace the image of Felix’s body in the road with a nicer image, with an image of him safe and curled up in a bed rather than twisted and bleeding on the concrete.

But Hyunjin was still nervous. Not only did he have no idea about Felix’s condition, but this would be his first time really seeing Felix since the kiss and the argument and the explosion of their emotions. There was still the teenage boy in Hyunjin that worried it would be awkward.

He thanked the nurse as they finally reached the room, watching her walk away before turning to the door with a deep breath. He could do this. Felix needed him to do this.

He pushed the door open gently, poking his head into the room before stepping all the way in. There was red hair peeking out from the white of the bed, shifting a bit before two big brown eyes appeared from the sheets, staring at Hyunjin with a mixture of confusion and apprehension.

“Hey, Sunshine,” Hyunjin said quietly, the nickname leaving his lips before he could stop it, a mist seeming to settle over Felix’s eyes.

Hyunjin was so captured by them that he almost didn’t notice the rest of Felix. There was stitching near the top of his head, clean cuts breaking all down his face and neck. A hospital gown hung loosely off his shoulders, revealing bruised collarbones and leading down to a cast on Felix’s left arm.

But, somehow, the piercings were still shining beautifully on Felix’s face, his freckles mixing beautifully with the injuries on his skin. He still looked gorgeous. He still looked like Felix.

“You have no idea how glad I am to see you,” Hyunjin said, taking a slow step towards the bed as Felix’s eyes raked all over him.

“I’m glad to see you too,” Felix said shakily, his voice tinged with pain but also with golden wisps of relief, “I almost didn’t believe that there was someone here waiting for me, but I knew exactly who it was when they said it was a cute, puppy-like boy with a mole under his eye.”

Hyunjin felt red spreading over his cheeks, his mouth pulling into a smile before he could stop it, “Trust me, I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

Something in Felix’s eyes seemed to break at the words, a second of silence passing between them before there were tears falling down his cheeks, a tiny sob escaping his lips as he buried his face in his hands.

Hyunjin gasped, his feet pulling him across the floor as he dashed over to Felix, wrapping a hand carefully around one of Felix’s wrists and tangling the other in his hair, being careful of all his injuries.

“What’s wrong, Felix?” Hyunjin whispered, panic dancing in his chest as he watched Felix cry, “Did I scare you?”

“No, the opposite,” Felix choked on the words, wiping his eyes before pulling his devastated gaze up to Hyunjin, “I don’t deserve you.”

Hyunjin’s mouth fell open, his thoughts all stopping for a second. Felix didn’t deserve _him_? After everything Hyunjin had put Felix through, Felix thought he was the one who didn’t deserve him?

“Felix, what do you mean?” Hyunjin teared up himself, desperately searching Felix’s face as he tried to work out what the boy was thinking, “It’s you who doesn’t deserve me. I basically forced myself into your life! And then I yelled at you and scared you away and you’re in this hospital bed because of me!”

“I’m in this hospital bed because I was being so selfish thinking of my own damn feelings that I didn’t look at the road!” Felix said back, his eyes just as confused as Hyunjin’s as they stared at each other, “And all you’ve ever done was try to help me. I saw that takeaway bag in your hands, I know what you were doing.”

“I had that stupid takeaway because I wanted to make it up to you,” Hyunjin said, shaking his head at Felix’s words, “I confronted you about something I shouldn’t have after basically kissing you out of nowhere. I was an emotional wreck, Felix. You deserve so much better than that.”

“Well, you’re the emotional wreck who’s been in this hospital this whole time waiting for me,” Felix said with a sob, another tear sliding down his face, “Hyunjin, I don’t have anyone else in my life who’d ever do that for me.”

“That’s stupid,” Hyunjin said, wiping away another one of his own tears, “Because you deserve to have everyone waiting for you.”

Felix smiled a sad smile, his hand shifting to grab Hyunjin’s, his gaze falling back down to the sheets as he swallowed before opening his mouth, “Then maybe… maybe, I deserve you.”

Hyunjin smiled his own smile, his chest, after a night of pain, finally blooming with warmth as Felix shyly looked back up to meet his gaze, their eyes locking with happy tears.

They may have had a lot left to discuss. They may have been about to face a whole new world of problems. But, in that moment, Hyunjin was content. Content to just let the world stop for a while so he could stay there with Felix’s hand held tightly in his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, I hope that was okay!!
> 
> I'm trying to get these chapters written as fast as possible. I know people are struggling rn and the world is in a very dark place, but I'm just hoping my writing can maybe do a little bit for people. I'm planning something for when this story is over to hopefully cheer people up a lil'. I know this isn't much, but I just want you all to know I'm here <3
> 
> I hope everyone is staying safe and following all the necessary procedures to keep others safe. please take care of yourselves physically and mentally and focus on staying healthy <333 ily


	11. Kisses on his Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But it lets me know that you care. No matter what problems we’ve had, you’ve always been there, sometimes that’s been to apologise or maybe create a new problem, but you’ve still always been there and that’s more than I can say for anyone else in my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya all, I hope everyone's staying safe and healthy during this time xx
> 
> I really love this chapter, it starts off unexpectedly but I love the way it ends. We truly get to explore Hyunlix's relationship here
> 
> Please enjoy!! <33 xx

The days at the hospital passed like they had no sense of time.

Hyunjin had no idea what the date was anymore, had no idea what day of the week it was; all he knew was that he woke up in the mornings, caught up on all the schoolwork Seungmin was sending him throughout the afternoons, and then went to visit Felix during evening hospital visiting hours.

Felix was recovering nicely. The road burn and internal rib injuries were still causing him pain, but he was finding it easier to breathe on his own and was slowly being taken off the painkillers, physical therapists coming in and doing exercises with him to keep up his motor strength.

Unfortunately, his arm was going to stay in the cast for at least another few weeks and Felix hadn’t stopped complaining about how he wouldn’t be able to dance. But both him and Hyunjin knew that it could have been a lot worse, so they were thankful for that at least.

Hyunjin had also promised to teach Felix how to dance again, so they had that to look forward to as well.

Music was flowing through Hyunjin’s ears when it happened. He’d been back from visiting Felix for a couple of hours, now sliding his way towards the kitchen for some food. His socks slipped perfectly on the hallway floor, Twice blasting from his speakers as he danced and sang. 

Chan met Hyunjin in the kitchen, also singing his heart out to ‘ _What is Love?’_ as they danced together, giggling and trying to cook as they slid across the floor, very narrowly avoiding bumping into too many things and maybe almost starting a fire.

Hyunjin was having _fun_.

That was until the doorbell rang.

Chan shouted at Hyunjin not to break anything as he went to answer it, rolling his eyes once more as he disappeared out the room. He turned the music down to hear whoever it was, Hyunjin pouting and whining at the loss of their entertainment.

Hyunjin didn’t pay attention as he sulkily went to stir Chan’s cooking, occupying himself with still quietly singing along to Twice despite Chan’s glare.

He was in the middle of a staring into the pan when a voice rang through the room, sounding far enough away to still be from the front door but alarmed enough that it was loud enough for Hyunjin to hear.

“Hyunjin!”

The staring quickly changed to fast blinking of panic and confusion, Hyunjin shaking his head to focus his vision again before taking off towards the hallway.

Hyunjin’s socks slid against the floor, his feet almost going out from under him as he ran. He crashed into the wall, whipping his hair out his face and looking up to a sight he could never have expected.

“Felix?!”

Felix was stood in front of the now closed front door, his clothes the exactly same ones he’d been run over in. The t-shirt was practically ripped to shreds, his jacket and jeans covered in blood with boots that had obviously been tied in a rush.

Hyunjin had to swallow hard. Felix looked exactly how he had on that road, the scarring on his face still fresh, his breathing fast and erratic like it had been when he was unconscious.

“Felix, what the hell?” Hyunjin dashed over to him, pulling him into a hug before he could stop himself. Felix just looked so similar to his injured self from only days before, Hyunjin had to reassure himself that Felix was safe and alive and had recovered well from the accident.

“I’m sorry,” Felix whimpered into Hyunjin’s shoulder, his voice so small and scared that Hyunjin felt his heart crack, “I couldn’t stay at the hospital.”

“Wait, what are you saying?” Hyunjin quickly pulled away, his mind reeling as his hands planted themselves on Felix’s shoulders, “Did you run away from the hospital?”

Felix stared directly into Hyunjin’s eyes, his gaze tearful and pleading as he practically begged to be understood, “Hyunjin, I was pushing my luck there anyway. They kept asking about my mum. They kept calling her and asking me why she wouldn’t answer and they told me I had to meet with a social worker. I couldn’t stay there anymore.”

“Oh my god, Felix, you idiot!” Hyunjin pulled Felix into another hug, unable to stand the idea that Felix still had to worry about his family and hide his situation even after being awfully hurt, even after his body and mind had been severely traumatised and he had no real family to take care of him during it, “They were only taking care of you at the hospital, you have to go back.”

“No, Hyunjin, please!” Felix struggled in Hyunjin’s arms, his small fists coming up to grab the back of Hyunjin’s shirt, “You can’t make me go back there! You can’t let them take me into some stupid home in some desperate place where no one will care about me. I need to protect my mum and my home.”

“Felix,” Hyunjin closed his eyes and buried his face further into Felix’s neck, “This isn’t about your mum or your home or any stupid social worker or anything like that. This is about your health.”

“I’m fine!” Felix tried to say, but Hyunjin pulled back first, one of his hands curling tightly around Felix’s upper arm and the other cupping his scarred cheek.

“You were literally hit by a car.” Hyunjin said bluntly, his gaze staring directly into Felix’s, “You are not fine and that is okay. No one is expecting you to be. But you still need to be at the hospital, you still need to be taking your painkillers and doing your physical therapy and relaxing until your body can heal. We can worry about all the other stuff later. We need to be worrying about your health _now_.”

Felix shrank under Hyunjin’s gaze, flinching at a few of the words. He was practically going boneless in Hyunjin’s hold, his body already giving out after all the adrenalin and emotion of his escape from the hospital. His brave front was cracking, peeling away to reveal a boy who was so goddamn tired and so goddamn scared.

“It’s okay, Sunshine,” Hyunjin brought his voice down, speaking in a soothing whisper as his thumb started to trace lightly over the cuts on Felix’s cheek, “You can forget about all your worries and let us take care of you now.”

It was silent when Felix burst into tears, his sobs painfully quiet and tears almost invisible as his face crumpled. It made Hyunjin’s chest hurt, the idea that Felix had been suffering in silence for so long making him emotional as he finally pulled Felix into another hug.

“You have to go back to the hospital,” Hyunjin whispered into Felix’s ear, gently rocking him back and forth, “You have to let yourself be taken care of.”

“But my mum,” Felix sobbed into Hyunjin’s shoulder, sounding too hurt and too scared for a boy his age, “She’ll be so mad. She’ll be so angry if I end up with some other family who don’t even want me.”

Hyunjin closed his eyes, burying his nose deeper into Felix’s neck as he thought about what he had to say next, “Your mum never showed up for you, Felix. You were literally hit by a car and she still isn’t here for you. The hospital is right to be worrying about you.”

“You don’t understand!” Felix tried to pull away, still desperately sobbing at what Hyunjin was saying.

“No, Felix,” Hyunjin tightened his grip around Felix, “I do understand. I’ve been in the system too, remember? I know what it’s like. I know how scared you must be right now. But you’re hurt and you’re not safe and your mum isn’t here. You need to let yourself be helped.”

Felix didn’t respond to that, just buried himself further into Hyunjin, his chest stuttering with his cries and his hands shaking against Hyunjin’s back. Hyunjin could feel how scared he was, could feel the immense pressure he was under. Felix had been in a horrifying accident and still had to hide who he was, still had to worry about more than any teenager should ever have to worry about.

Felix didn’t have time to be in pain. He couldn’t afford to be injured. His life was stressful enough without being hurt.

But he _was_ hurt now, and Hyunjin was going to help him.

“It’s going to be okay, Sunshine,” Hyunjin rubbed a large hand up and down Felix’s back, being slow and careful because he knew Felix was still injured, “I’ll be with you every step of the way, okay? It doesn’t matter what social workers you meet with or what the hospital decides to do, I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.”

“Th-thank you,” Felix sniffled into Hyunjin’s shirt, sounding more vulnerable than Hyunjin had ever heard him, “Thank you so much. For everything.”

Hyunjin smiled softly, pulling away to cup Felix’s face and stare into the shimmer of his eyes, “Don’t thank me. You’ve had to be so strong for so long and I didn’t exactly help you with that at first.”

Felix snorted, his features twitching as he remembered the kiss and the argument and everything that seemed so long ago and so insignificant compared to what was happening to them now.

“But I’m help to help you now,” Hyunjin carried on, squeezing lightly on Felix’s cheeks, “And I’m going to do it properly this time.”

Felix smiled, _really_ smiled, and it was almost enough to have all the scarring fading away on his face. It was enough to make the world stop for a second. It was enough for the Sun to light up Hyunjin’s sight and remind him just how beautiful Felix was, just how young and light and cheerful he was despite all the battles he had to fight.

Their hands met in between them, Hyunjin squeezing Felix’s small fingers as they smiled at each other, no longer needing to speak to know that things would be okay whenever they were together.

The spark was still burning brightly between them, flickering in its beauty and dancing in its light, patiently waiting for the right moment in which Hyunjin and Felix could finally, _properly_ , act on their feelings for each other.

Hyunjin let the silence reign between them for a few moments, content to just let both their hearts stop pounding and the rest of the adrenalin slowly trickle out of them before speaking again.

“Hyung?” Hyunjin turned to Chan, who had been watching them silently with tears on his face, his hands clasped in front of his chest, Hyunjin couldn’t hold back the smile as he looked at him, “Could you call the hospital for us and tell them we’re taking Felix back?”

Chan nodded like a bobblehead, smiling kindly as he turned his eyes to Felix, “Is that alright with you Felix?”

Felix ducked his gaze behind Hyunjin, practically hiding behind Hyunjin as he nodded, “Yeah, I’m… I’m really sorry for showing up like this.”

“It’s okay,” Chan hunched over to make himself smaller, smiling the smile only loving dads could, “I understand it’s hard for you and I’m happy to help,” 

“Hyung saw lots of kids like us when they adopted me,” Hyunjin turned and nudged Felix gently in the shoulder, “Trust me, he knows a lot about all this, he'll be able to get involved with all the social worker stuff if needs be.”

Felix’s eyes widened in wonder, his mouth falling open with the realisation that maybe, _just maybe_ , there was someone who understood him, someone who could actually help him.

The sight broke Hyunjin’s heart and healed it at the same time. Felix had suffered, but he was letting them help him now.

“I couldn’t ask you to do all that,” Felix tried to shake his head, but Hyunjin nudged him again, Chan cutting in with a knowing grin.

“You don’t have to ask us to help you,” Chan said, “We’re doing it anyway.”

The air crackled with Chan raising his eyebrows, practically daring Felix to challenge him as Felix just smiled and shrank back, looking secretly happy with the fact Chan was willing to help him.

“Well, now that’s settled,” Hyunjin spoke before Chan decided to act on whatever thought had caused the cheeky smile to break out over his face, “Hyung, you call the hospital and get the car ready. I’m going to take Felix upstairs and find him something to change into.”

At that, all attention was suddenly brought back to the fact Felix was still wearing ripped and blood-stained clothes. Felix flinched as all eyes turned to him.

Hyunjin didn’t hesitate to squeeze his hand and start leading him away, Chan telling them to take their time as Hyunjin carefully pulled Felix up the stairs.

“I’m sorry for showing up here like this,” Felix said quietly, “I really did think I needed to get out the hospital, and these were the only clothes I had other than the hospital gown.”

Hyunjin smiled as he pulled Felix to a stop outside his bedroom, “It’s okay, Sunshine. You panicked; we get it. We probably should have thought about getting some other clothes to you before today anyway.”

“That’s okay,” Felix shrugged lightly, “This never should have been your problem in the first place.”

“You’re not a problem, Felix,” Hyunjin said softly, “Even when you’ve been run over, even if you’ve got social workers breathing down your neck, even when you show up here after running away from the hospital, which you _should not_ have done by the way,” Felix snorted, “But you’re still not a problem, we’re happy to help you no matter what.”

Felix blushed. His face was relieved in a way Hyunjin hadn’t seen it before. Hyunjin had only known Felix with his mask on, had only known the Felix who had so much to hide and so much to run from. But now Felix’s secrets were out, now he had run from the hospital and finally stopped, Hyunjin was finally seeing the boy Felix really was, and he was more beautiful than ever.

“Come on,” Hyunjin tilted his head towards his bedroom door, waiting until Felix looked at him before grinning, “Bet you’ve always wanted to see my bedroom.”

A small giggle left Felix’s lips at the words, his head nodding as Hyunjin winked and pulled him inside, laughing when Felix’s eyes widened and his mouth opened in a cackle.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many Got7 posters,” Felix said, still giggling as his eyes raked all over the blue painted walls and the various band posters covering them, “And… oh my god.” Felix stopped as his eyes landed on one particular poster right next to Hyunjin’s mirror, “Twice.”

“You like Twice?” Hyunjin raised his eyebrows as Felix turned back to him, his eyes glistening shyly.

“Yeah, I love them,” Felix said, his face lighting up at the mere mention of them, “Once, just once, I was able to put enough money aside to be able to afford one of their albums. I’ve had it ever since, it’s one of the only really special things I own.”

“Well,” Hyunjin tried to ignore the sadness of Felix’s words, focusing only on the positivity Felix still somehow managed to push into them, “I’ll get Chan-hyung to pick it up later. We can’t have you going without it.”

Felix immediately tried to protest, but Hyunjin held up a hand, “Trust me, just let him do that for you. He really does want to help and if there’s no album for him to pick up he might just try to get the actual Twice into your hospital room.”

The room lit up with the sound of Felix’s laughter, “I don’t think I’d have any complaints about that, you know?”

“Yeah, me neither, to be honest,” Hyunjin laughed as he tilted his head, “But, that’s later. For now, just sit down and I’ll find you some clothes.”

Hyunjin gestured to his bed, pulling out his phone and smiling when Felix slowly lowered himself down onto the sheets, sitting awkwardly like he wasn’t sure what to do. Hyunjin just shook his head and clicked on the playlist he had been looking for, Felix’s head whipping up and smiling when ‘ _Likey_ ’ started playing.

“It was a mistake you telling me that you like Twice,” Hyunjin said as he turned to his wardrobe, rifling through the clothes so he could find something for Felix to wear, “Now I’m not going to shut up about them… or Got7 for that matter.”

“Fine by me,” Felix said back, Hyunjin proud of the way he was able to picture the smile on his face, “I like Got7 too. Their choreographies are really fun to learn.”

“Oh my god, that settles it,” Hyunjin threw a pair of light grey sweatpants over his shoulder, hoping Felix would take the hint and change into them whilst Hyunjin still had his back turned, “When you’re all better and we start dancing together, we are doing nothing but Got7 and Twice choreos.”

“Sounds good to me,” Felix said, Hyunjin relieved to hear the sounds of him getting changed around his voice.

“And speaking of bands,” Hyunjin paused as his eyes fell on his sky-blue hoodie, his brain scrambling at the idea of seeing Felix wearing any colour but black, he turned back to Felix with it, speaking normally again like it wasn’t unusual that he was giving Felix his hoodie, “Try not to mention Day6 in front of Seungminnie, it’s literally impossible to get him to shut up about them.”

Felix laughed at the words, opening his mouth to speak again but his response dying on his tongue when he spotted what Hyunjin was holding in his hands, a small gasp leaving his lips before he started speaking, a lot quieter than he had before “But Hyunjin… that’s your favourite hoodie.”

“And you’re my favourite person,” Hyunjin said before he could stop himself, his eyes widening and his mouth gasping when he realised what he’d said, “It’s also your favourite colour,” he mumbled, trying to save himself as he let his bangs fall in front of his eyes and his gaze duck away, refusing to make eye contact with Felix as he handed the hoodie over, “It makes me feel safe and snuggly, and I want you to feel safe and snuggly too.”

He trailed off with the words, his voice quiet and shy and his eyes still on the floor as he felt Felix gently take the hoodie from him.

“Do you know why I ran here today, Hyunjin?” Felix said, his hands carefully placing the hoodie on the bed behind him before his cold fingers were suddenly reaching up to cup Hyunjin’s face, Hyunjin’s eyes darting to Felix as he gasped at the feeling, “Do you know why I came here instead of running home to grab my stuff before disappearing again?”

Hyunjin shook his head. Truthfully, he hadn’t even thought about that, had completely forgotten that there was once a time Felix wouldn’t have had to think about anyone else, would have had no one to worry about him if he disappeared.

“You say that hoodie makes you feel safe,” Felix smiled softly, his thumbs rubbing over Hyunjin’s cheeks, “Well, _you_ make me feel safe, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin gasped, his mind practically going blank as he processed the words, “Felix… what?”

“I felt so much safer at a new school when I had you there looking out for me,” Felix said gently, voice weighed down with so much stress that seemed to melt away the longer he talked, “I felt so much less lonely in the dance studio when I had you there with me. My house felt so much less empty when you were in it with me. And when… when I was lying on that road worrying that I was about to die, I felt safe knowing that you were there with me, knowing you weren’t going to leave me or let me get hurt again.”

Hyunjin felt tears prickling at his eyes, his mouth falling open as he listened to what Felix was saying to him, to what Felix had finally worked up the courage to confess.

“I can’t explain it, Hyunjin,” Felix’s smile turned tearful, his hands tightening their grip ever so slightly on Hyunjin’s face, “I don’t think there’s ever been a point in my life when I’ve really felt safe, but it feels so effortless with you. It should be hard because you’re so curious about everything it’s overwhelming and you think with your emotions which definitely has led us into some problems,” Hyunjin smiled at Felix’s little laugh, “But it lets me know that you care. No matter what problems we’ve had, you’ve always been there, sometimes that’s been to apologise or maybe create a new problem, but you’ve still always been there and that’s more than I can say for anyone else in my life.”

The song in the playlist had changed, the beautiful notes of ‘ _Feel Special_ ’ swirling through the room as Felix smiled knowingly, “You make me feel special, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but laugh, a few tears escaping from his eyes that Felix was quick to wipe away, both of them smiling at each other like they had no other care in the world.

“You make me feel special too, Sunshine,” Hyunjin said, one of his hands coming up to curl around Felix’s wrist, “But you’ll make me feel even more special if you wear my hoodie. So, please, _please_ put that on, _please_.”

Felix looked gorgeous as he laughed, his tears glimmering in the light. He wiped them away before turning and carefully taking the hoodie in his hands, looking up at Hyunjin shyly, “My ribs… my ribs still kinda hurt. So… I might need a little help.”

Hyunjin took a couple of seconds to understand, his mouth opening in a little ‘ _o_ ’ when he did, “Sure, no problem.”

He made sure to be careful when gently peeling the jacket off Felix’s shoulders, making sure Felix didn’t move too fast or strain himself and hurt himself more. Felix blushed as Hyunjin placed the jacket on the bed, turning back to help with his t-shirt.

“It’s okay, you’ll be in the hoodie in a second,” Hyunjin said gently, looping his fingers at the bottom of Felix’s t-shirt and pulling it up. He looked at the fabric of the top instead of anywhere Felix wouldn’t want him looking, catching just a glance at all the bruising spread over Felix’s torso before looking away, “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Felix only whimpered once in the process, biting his lip in pain as Hyunjin picked up the hoodie and bunched it up in his hands, smiling reassuringly as he pulled it over Felix’s head.

The hoodie was far too big on Felix, the fabric practically swallowing him as the sleeves fell over in his hands in adorable sweater paws and the hem fell down to cover at least half his thighs. Hyunjin couldn’t help but smile wider, putting his hands over his mouth at how cute Felix looked.

Not only was the hoodie too big, but it was also the first time Hyunjin was seeing Felix in colour. The blue looked so wonderful on him, bringing out his tan and shining against his freckles as Hyunjin raked his eyes over him.

“You look amazing,” Hyunjin couldn’t help but say, his grin growing when he finally looked up at Felix’s face and laughed at seeing his hair messily covering his eyes after Hyunjin had dragged the hoodie over it, “Oh my god, give me a sec.”

Hyunjin quickly turned to root around on his desk, pulling out a box and wading his fingers through all the necklaces in it before he finally found what he needed. He smiled as he picked it up, letting it catch the light for a second before he turned back to Felix.

“Here,” Hyunjin said, brushing Felix’s bangs away from his eyes and pinning them back with the golden hairclip Hyunjin had found, a bright Sun glowing proudly on the end, “My sunshine.”

Felix blushed all the way down to his neck, his hands fiddling with the sleeves of Hyunjin’s hoodie as he tried to hold back the smile, “Thank you, Hyunjinnie,” he said quietly, “For everything.”

Their eyes found each other once more, Hyunjin moving his fingers from the hairclip to run down the side of Felix’s face, his smile speaking for a thousand words as Felix gazed up at him.

“Don’t thank me, Sunshine,” Hyunjin said softly, the two of them now close enough to each other that Hyunjin only had to whisper to be heard.

Hyunjin could make out every single detail of every single injury on Felix’s face. He traced his eyes over every scar, over every spot of blood, over every mark the road and the glass and the car had left on Felix and hurt him for a long time to come.

And yet, all Hyunjin could see was Felix’s beauty. Hyunjin’s room faded away, Felix’s injuries all seeming to shrink back as Hyunjin’s gaze followed the path of Felix’s freckles, as Hyunjin traced the heart-like curve of Felix’s lips, as Hyunjin’s eyes once more met the almond ones that had captivated him from the moment he’d seen them.

The world was nothing around them. All their problems had faded away. They were nothing but high-school sweethearts, two carefree teenagers with light hearts and eyes only for each other.

Hyunjin smiled, a feeling of complete euphoria over taking him once more as he leaned in and tenderly pressed his lips against Felix’s.

It was soft this time. It wasn’t a crash of lips and a tangle of hands and a rush of breath like it had been before. It was just Hyunjin slowly pressing his lips against Felix’s, letting him feel everything as gold spread through their faces and warmed their cheeks and tingled in their veins.

There was a drag of breath when Hyunjin started to move, when his mouth pressed over Felix’s and the tingle of ecstasy got too much and Felix starting kissing him back, feeling so soft and so warm and so perfect with his face still in Hyunjin’s hand.

Felix’s own hands moved up to Hyunjin’s shoulders, squeezing on the flesh as their lips moved between them, sending sparks of fire ricocheting through their chests and crackling through the rest of their bodies. Hyunjin pulled Felix further against him, wanting to cherish him and hold him and show him he really meant it this time.

They weren’t lying on a floor like they had been before. They weren’t both panicked and emotional and jumpy like they had been last time. Felix felt no desire to run away anymore as their lips moved so slowly and so tenderly between them.

Hyunjin felt like everything was finally calm again, like they really would be okay, like him and Felix had finally, _finally_ , found the place where they would always be there for each other.

It didn’t matter what happened after this, all that mattered was the feeling of Felix’s lips against Hyunjin’s.

The thought gave Hyunjin enough strength to pull away, his mouth tugging into a breathless smile as his hand moved down to cradle Felix’s jaw, his thumb rubbing over the perfect lips that made Hyunjin feel the whole world was standing still just for them.

Hyunjin watched as Felix slowly blinked his eyes open, his irises swirling with stars that Hyunjin never wanted to look away from as he opened his mouth to speak.

“That was amazing, Sunshine,” he said, his voice sounding so light and airy after the happiness that had just swirled so amazingly through him.

“Yeah, it was,” Felix giggled, leaning into Hyunjin’s touch against his face, “We should do that again some time.”

Hyunjin laughed, his chest practically exploding with warmth at the words. There was absolutely no part of him that would object to kissing Felix again. He would give Felix endless kisses if it made up for the fact that their first one had been ruined.

But something told Hyunjin that Felix didn’t mind about that anymore, not now they’d finally found themselves in a place where they were both truly comfortable and happy.

They’d yelled and they’d argued and Felix had run into a road, but, somehow, they were okay.

And they were definitely going to be kissing again later.

The thought made Hyunjin feel immensely pleased as he leaned down to press another little peck against Felix’s lips, his heart melting when Felix scrunched his nose.

“Tease,” Felix said, voice tingling with a playfulness Hyunjin hadn’t seen in him before.

“Oh, so what’s worse?” Hyunjin said, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, “Me being a tease, _or_ ,” Hyunjin tilted his head towards where his phone was still playing music on the bed, “The fact that our second kiss was to ‘ _Dance the Night away_ ’?”

Felix laughed a full-belly laugh, his face lighting with joy as he spoke, “I don’t think there’s any better song to kiss to.”

“Oh really?” Hyunjin pressed another kiss on Felix’s nose, his voice lowering as he met Felix’s eyes, “I think we can try and find some better ones.”

With that, he stepped away, turning his back to hide his smug grin as he went to the wardrobe to find a pair of shoes, Felix whining loudly behind him.

“Awww, there there, Sunshine,” Hyunjin said as he turned back, pinching Felix’s cheek as he spoke, “We can have more kisses later. But you need to go back to the hospital and get some real medicine now.”

Felix just pouted, Hyunjin having to seriously hold back from kissing the pout off Felix’s lips as he grabbed his hand and led him out the door. Hyunjin was sure that if he started kissing Felix now, he wouldn’t be able to stop, and that wouldn’t be beneficial for either of their health.

So, Hyunjin just led Felix down the stairs, squeezing his hand as Chan looked up at them, smiling knowingly at Felix wearing Hyunjin’s hoodie and the slight blush over both their faces.

Hyunjin could only blush harder at the sight, having to admit he was a little worried about going back to the hospital and Felix potentially getting intimidated by Chan's presence.

But then Chan reached and ruffled Felix’s hair, pulling him into a light hug as he babbled in English about how cute Felix looked in the hoodie, and Hyunjin realised he had nothing to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> I really hope that was okay, I know I'm not great at writing fluff but I truly can't resist it. It's a welcome break after all the angst of this story
> 
> I'm still trying to write fast to get stories up whilst everything is going on. The last chapter shouldn't be too far away. Please stay safe and clean and healthy and stay inside, it's all going to be okay <3 please have a beautiful day xx


	12. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If a few weeks ago, when Hyunjin and his friends had been sat around the kitchen table talking about how Hyunjin liked the new kid, someone had told Hyunjin that he’d now have that very same new kid in his arms, his mouth swollen with their kisses and heart swelling with their love, Hyunjin would have laughed like a maniac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all <33
> 
> we've finally reached the end!! I genuinely cannot believe this story is over, I hope the ending is okay <3

“Hey, Jinnie! Wait for me!”

Hyunjin smiled as Seungmin’s voice echoed down the school corridor, somehow carrying over the chatter of all the other students as Seungmin ducked and dived around everyone to get to Hyunjin.

“Hey Minnie,” Hyunjin smiled when Seungmin finally made it to him, his hair flopping in front of his face and his large puppy-like eyes wide with happiness.

“Heya, how was your class?” Seungmin said, falling into a step beside Hyunjin, “Did you actually pay attention this time?”

“Not even a little bit,” Hyunjin grinned, giggling when Seungmin just rolled his eyes, “Oh, come on. Can you really blame me?”

“No, I guess not,” Seungmin tilted his head, “You’ve been excited about tonight for weeks.”

“Minnie, we’ve _all_ been excited about tonight for weeks,” Hyunjin said, his eyebrows raising when Seungmin threw him a glance, “I can’t believe this is finally happening. This is all finally starting to be over.”

“Oh, it ain’t over, Hyunjinnie,” Seungmin made a point of pausing, meeting Hyunjin’s confused glance before speaking again, “It’s all just beginning.”

Hyunjin couldn’t hold back the smile at that, his chest blooming with the very idea, “I think you might be exactly right.”

“And, _that_ ,” Seungmin pointed at Hyunjin, “Is exactly why you should be excited.”

“Which is also exactly why you’re going to be lending me the notes from the class I just daydreamed through,” Hyunjin said sweetly, his eyes only dazzling brighter as Seungmin sighed, “Come on, Minnie! You want to help me, don’t you?”

“I spend my whole life helping you, Hwang Hyunjin,” Seungmin grumbled before turning to Hyunjin with an endeared smile, “But that’s only because you help everyone else. Yes, you can have my notes.”

“Yay, thank you, MinMin!” Hyunjin squealed, throwing his arms around Seungmin and ignoring the complaints from the other students in the corridor he almost hit in the process, “You’re the best!”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Seungmin whined, pushing against Hyunjin’s gangly arms, “Now get off me.”

“Nah, I’m going to cling to you forever,” Hyunjin sing-songed as they finally exited the school, making their way over to the usual meeting point outside, “I’m never letting go.”

“I think your boyfriend might have a few complaints about that,” Jeongin’s voice carried over from where he was leaning against the wall waiting for them, his arms folded and face smug, “And Seungmin’s boyfriend for that matter.”

“Yah! You heard the boy,” Seungmin moaned when Hyunjin only tightened his grip, “Let go!”

“Fiiiine,” Hyunjin drawled, letting his arms drop as Seungmin shrugged him off and walked over to Jeongin, making a point of planting a kiss loudly against his lips, “Yeah, yeah, rub it in my face that your boyfriend’s here and mine’s not, very cute.”

“Well, at least you have a boyfriend,” Jisung said from behind them, waving goodbye to Haechan and Chenle before strutting over, “Some of us are forever alone.”

“Well, maybe you wouldn’t be if Changbin-hyung and Minho-hyung finally came to some realisations,” Jeongin whispered under his breath, Seungmin practically choking and Hyunjin snorting as Jisung eyed them all suspiciously.

“What?” he said, narrowing his gaze as Jeongin only shook his head and smiled innocently.

“Nothing!” Jeongin said, Jisung only believing him because it was Jeongin and there was not a single person in the world who wouldn’t do anything for Jeongin.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Jisung just waved him off, “Just no causing trouble tonight. Hyunjin has told us at least a thousand times that we need to do this right.”

“Hey!” Hyunjin tried to cut in, but was interrupted by Seungmin’s snort.

“That’s a little rich coming from you, Sungie,” he said, “Because, if there’s anyone that’s going to be causing trouble…”

He trailed off with a knowing look, Jisung pretending to look annoyed as Hyunjin put his hands in between them, speaking firmly, “No! No one is causing trouble tonight! We have to-”

“ _Make this perfect_ ,” Jisung, Jeongin and Seungmin all finished for him, Hyunjin pouting harder as they all mimicked him.

“And it _will_ be perfect,” Seungmin reached over and squeezed Hyunjin’s shoulder, laughing at the adorable distressed look on his face, “Trust me, Jinnie, it’s going to be fine.”

Hyunjin was about to open his mouth to respond when he was stopped by a deep voice speaking from a few feet behind him, sounding scary and intimidating and also like Hyunjin’s favourite sound in the whole world.

“Who is making my boyfriend pout like that?” Felix said, everyone jumping as Hyunjin screeched and whipped around to see Felix grinning at him.

Felix looked like his usual ethereal self. It was starting to reach spring and the Sun was shining gently in the sky, casting a warm glow on Felix’s red hair and sparkling against his piercings. He had new earrings, one that was shaped like a Sun that dangled gorgeously off his left ear and the other that curled like a snowflake that hung off his right.

Chan had bought them and Felix had almost cried when he’d received them, Hyunjin proudly sporting his own matching pair that he hadn’t taken off since.

Felix was also wearing a dark-grey crop-top and his usual black ripped skinny jeans, red fishnets hugging deliciously at the skin visible on his waist and shining out from all the holes in his jeans. There were also several chains hanging off his belt and a pair of neon red laces threading through his boots, matching with his now long, messy hair and making him look all the more gorgeous.

His face was also still scarred. There’d been permanent injuries from the accident, namely faint white burns and lines down the side of his face, stretching further in places on his neck and torso. It wasn’t that visible anymore and basically disappeared when covered in concealer, but Hyunjin didn’t care either way. He took it upon himself to reassure Felix everyday that he was still beautiful. His freckles were still prominent and that was all Hyunjin cared about. Felix still looked stunning no matter what.

“Sunshine!” Hyunjin exclaimed, his face pulling into a smile as he threw himself forward and looped his arms around Felix’s neck, planting a sloppy kiss on his forehead, “I missed you!”

“You saw me like an hour ago,” Felix laughed into Hyunjin’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him all the same.

“An hour too long,” Hyunjin whined, squeezing extra tight for a couple of seconds before pulling away, clasping Felix’s hand between them, “Today has been such an unbearable wait.”

“I know,” Felix squeezed Hyunjin’s hand, a nervous smile flickering over his face, “I can’t believe it’s finally happening.”

“Me neither,” Hyunjin said, taking a deep breath as Felix mirrored him, “But it’s going to be fine. This is what we’ve all been waiting for.”

“And it’s what we’re all going to be helping you with,” Seungmin cut in, smiling when Hyunjin and Felix both turned to look at him, “You guys deserve this, and we’re going to be helping you every step of the way.”

“Thank you guys so much,” Felix bowed his head slightly, his eyes sparkling more in the Sun as he spoke, “I don’t know how I would have gotten this far without you, any of you.”

“Awww Felix, you don’t need to thank us!” Jisung exclaimed, leaping forward to wrap Felix in a hug, “In all honesty, we’re just as excited as you are.”

“Yeah, this is going to be a new beginning for a lot of people,” Seungmin said, linking an arm with Jeongin as he smiled at Hyunjin dramatically trying to pull Jisung off Felix, “I just can’t believe we got so lucky.”

“It did all work out rather well, didn’t it?” Jeongin grinned, thinking of Chan and Jeongyeon and all the other people that had put work into the night ahead of them.

“You can say that again,” Hyunjin said, smirking triumphantly when Jisung finally stumbled off Felix, mumbling something about needing to gain boyfriend rights, “Lets just all hope it goes according to plan.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Seungmin raised an eyebrow, staring directly at Hyunjin and thinking about all the nagging he’d done to them over the past few weeks, “You’ll make sure it will.”

. . .

“Hello?” Felix called out, opening the door to his apartment and widening his eyes in surprise when he realised it was already unlocked, “Jeongyeon-noona, are you already here?”

Hyunjin and Chan followed Felix through the door, stepping into the hallway and letting Felix lead them to his room as he called out.

Hyunjin could vividly remember the last and only time he’d been in this apartment. He could still remember how he’d first felt seeing the peeling wallpaper and the dim lights and the empty fridge that Felix had to stare at every day.

Chan was seeing all that for the first time now, his face crinkled in sadness and eyes shining with sympathy no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Hyunjin could tell Felix was pretending not to notice, still embarrassed of the place even after everything Chan had learnt about him.

Hyunjin didn’t even think about it as he reached forward and held Felix’s hand, giving him a reassuring smile when Felix turned back to him with a nervous look on his face, clearly struggling with what was about to happen.

“Yes, honey, I’m in here!” Jeongyeon’s voice broke them all out their thoughts as Felix turned towards the sound of it and led them all towards his bedroom.

“Sorry,” Jeongyeon looked up and smiled apologetically when they all walked through the door, she was stood by the bed and pulling off the sheets and folding them as Felix walked over to her, “I got here early and decided to get started whilst I waited, I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, it’s okay,” Felix managed a smile, clearly feeling a little more relaxed at Jeongyeon’s presence in the room, “The less time we’re here, the better. I don’t have a lot of stuff so it shouldn’t take too long.”

Hyunjin ignored the pangs of sadness he felt at the words and instead focused on Jeongyeon walking over to Felix and pulling him into a hug, smiling at the way he relaxed into her.

After Felix’s accident, Jeongyeon had managed to pull a few strings at the hospital to make sure she was Felix’s main nurse. As it turned out, her and her girlfriend had been looking to adopt a baby and therefore also knew a little bit about the inner workings of the social system, making her the perfect person to comfort Felix through it.

She’d continued to be Felix and Hyunjin’s friend even after Felix had been officially released from the hospital and had been a huge help in finally getting them all the happy ending they’d been working towards. Hyunjin, Felix and everyone were super thankful for her. As much as Hyunjin loved his uncle, neither him or Felix had ever had a motherly presence in their lives and Jeongyeon seemed to fit that role perfectly.

Chan also got on well with her, especially after he’d discovered her beautiful singing voice and desperately tried to get her to sing on one of his songs. He hadn’t succeeded yet, but Hyunjin doubted he’d have to wait much longer; Jeongyeon got softer towards all of them every day.

Hyunjin smiled, Jeongyeon was really going to make a great mother. 

“Now, chop chop!” Jeongyeon’s orderly voice broke Hyunjin from his stupor, “Get working! Felix’s stuff isn’t going to pack itself.”

They all laughed as they got to work. Hyunjin followed Felix over to his wardrobe, hauling out a suitcase and helping to fold as Felix pulled out all his clothes and handed them to Hyunjin. Other than his precious Twice album, Felix’s clothes were some of the only valuable things he owned. Most of them were homemade or at least self-embellished and Hyunjin loved all of them, hating how Felix had first come into his bad boy look but living for how well Felix pulled it off.

Felix still wore his bad boy outfits to this day, but no longer because he thought that was who he was, instead because he now knew that he looked freakin’ hot in them.

Hyunjin made a point of telling Felix that every day. 

And now Hyunjin was smiling as he folded all Felix’s t-shirts and jeans, admiring all the hand-sewn embellishments on them and making sure to be extra careful with the ones Felix had sewn little trinkets onto.

Despite how many different outfits Felix always seemed to be sporting, he didn’t actually have that many clothes. Hyunjin was even more impressed when he realised how versatile Felix was with the small amount of clothes he had, never seeming to repeat an outfit despite how little he had to work with. It made Hyunjin happy, the idea that Felix was moving to a place with a much bigger wardrobe and many more opportunities to fill it up.

“There we go,” Hyunjin chirped as he zipped up the suitcase with everything inside, looking up at Felix with a smile, “All done.”

Felix smiled back and helped Hyunjin to his feet, “Thank you.”

Hyunjin flicked Felix in the forehead, ignoring the pout and whine he got in response, “You’re banned from thanking me for the rest of the evening. No exceptions.”

“But, Hyunjiiiiin,” Felix tried to whine, Hyunjin cutting him off with another flick.

“ _No. Exceptions._ ” He said pointedly, Felix just pouting again as Hyunjin smiled proudly, “That’s it.”

Ignoring the roll of Felix’s eyes, Hyunjin took the lack of response to turn back to Chan and Jeongyeon, watching as they worked together to pack all of Felix’s books and sewing supplies into various backpacks, a suitcase full of Felix’s bedding waiting patiently by the door.

“Looks like we’re almost done,” Hyunjin said softly, taking Felix’s hand, “Do you think you’re ready to go?”

Hyunjin watched as Felix took a deep breath, his eyes roaming the room before closing for a few seconds and then opening towards Hyunjin. There were too many emotions in his gaze to recognise; Hyunjin could distinctly see fear and worry, but there were also a few twinkles, a few little sparkles of excitement that shone for whatever was to come.

“I really didn’t think I’d ever make it this far, you know?” Felix practically whispered, his voice carrying stress and panic but also shimmers of wonder, “I just… can’t believe this is finally happening.”

“Well, you better believe it,” Hyunjin grinned, squeezing tightly at Felix’s hand, “You’ve waited so long for this.”

“Yeah,” Felix smiled, ducking his gaze quickly before looking back up, “I honestly thought I’d be stuck like this for years, forever waiting for my mum to come back until I finally found the means to move myself out.”

“And now you’ve got all the means right here with you,” Hyunjin said softly, his free hand coming to stroke lightly against Felix’s cheek, “I’m so proud of you, Sunshine.”

“I couldn’t have done it without all of you,” Felix said immediately, Hyunjin tilting his head as he had to admit that, yes, the past few weeks had been a flurry of so many people doing so much to help and maybe the two of them wouldn’t have been able to do any of it without the amazing people around them.

It had started when Felix’s release from the hospital had triggered a range of social worker meetings and foster parent searching and frantic thinking about where Felix could go. Most of the meetings had been headed by either Chan or Jeongyeon, both of them fighting for what was best for Felix and insisting on finding better solutions.

It had been eye-opening for Hyunjin to see his uncle like that, to see them in full-on business mode fighting for what needed to be done. It made him extremely proud in a way, and also extremely grateful because Chan had agreed to let Felix stay half with them and half at his own place until they found a more permanent solution.

The first thought had immediately been that Chan could adopt Felix and all would be well again, but that had been impractical for too many reasons. Firstly, as much as Hyunjin and Felix loved each other, they’d still only known each other for a few weeks and the pressure of suddenly having to live together seemed like it would be too much for their young relationship. Hyunjin, unfortunately, had to admit that maybe Felix moving in straight away would be a lot in such a short amount of time and would probably be a bit too convenient.

And, secondly, Felix didn’t actually want to be adopted. Hyunjin knew that Felix loved Chan and was super grateful for him, but he also still had his mother. She’d actually attended a few of the meetings and regrettably supported the idea that maybe Felix would be better off without her. Felix insisted that they could still see each other, but he needed to be in a household that was financially stable and committed to taking care of him and she couldn’t provide him that, so he would have to go somewhere else. That didn’t mean he was comfortable with the idea of completely leaving her behind, though.

Hyunjin had understood that, so he completely supported all the adults in continuing to fight for what Felix wanted and dealing with all of Felix’s emotional stress along the way.

There had also been the issue of the driver. Felix had insisted over and over again that it wasn’t the driver’s fault; Felix was the one who’d ran into the road when it was dark outside and so the driver couldn’t be faulted for hitting him. The legal process had been absolutely exhausting and Felix had brawled tooth and nail to make sure the driver didn’t receive any legal ramifications. Numerous representatives from the social system had to step in and help him and, in the end, Felix succeeded, but not without the help of the adults willing to stand by him.

So, maybe Felix was right when he said that he couldn’t have done it without any of them. In fact, it had actually been Jisung’s genius idea that had helped them figure out where Felix should live in the end. But Hyunjin couldn’t help but disagree a little, so he opened his mouth to make sure Felix knew that.

“Yeah, but none of this, absolutely _none_ of it, would have worked if you hadn’t been so strong along the way,” Hyunjin said, moving his finger up to carefully tuck a piece of Felix’s hair behind his ear, thinking absentmindedly about how Felix’s hair had gotten so long recently and would need a cut and a dye soon, “You’ve done everything you can to make this easier for everyone, you’ve fought with everything you have to make this work. None of these people’s help would have meant anything without you.”

“But, without me, none of these people would have needed to help in the first place,” Felix said quietly as Hyunjin frowned, “Your uncle and your friends and Jeongyeon-noona would have been saved all the stress and the effort if it wasn’t for me.”

Hyunjin swallowed heavily, trying to work out what his next words needed to be. He hated when Felix got like this, hated that Felix had been deprived attention and help for so long that it meant whenever someone was nice to him, he felt like he was a burden to them.

But, as much as Hyunjin hated it, he understood. He’d been the same when he was first taken out the system and adopted by Chan. Hyunjin knew what it was like to go through the shock of suddenly being cared about and feeling like added baggage because you’d never been a burden like that to anyone before.

Hyunjin needed to make Felix understand that he wasn’t a burden, that caring for someone was stressful and worrying at times, but it was also worth it. It was so worth it because loving someone was the most beautiful thing in the world and everyone Hyunjin knew would take on all the stress and worry in the world if they got to protect the ones they loved.

Hyunjin knew Felix wouldn’t understand that straight away, but he was committed to doing anything he could to make Felix see it.

“And if all those people hadn’t helped you, then you’d still be living alone and hungry and at risk of being thrown out onto the streets every day,” Hyunjin said, staring right into Felix’s eyes to make sure he understood, “And we would all much rather put all our time and effort until helping you than live knowing you were suffering. You’re worth it, Felix, you’ll always be worth it.”

A couple of tears sprang into Felix’s eyes and Hyunjin smiled as he wiped them away, “You silly goose, this evening was supposed to be happy.”

“I am happy,” Felix giggled through his tears, leaning further into Hyunjin’s touch, “It’s just… a lot. I’m not mad about it and I’m happy this is all happening. I just really never thought this day would come.”

“It’s okay, Sunshine, I understand,” Hyunjin squeezed Felix’s hand one last time before stepping back to let Felix clean himself off, knowing Felix still liked his space sometimes, “We’ll go at whatever pace you set tonight, okay? We won’t leave here until you’re ready.”

Felix just nodded and wiped at his face as Hyunjin quietly stepped away to go and pack the last of Felix’s stuff. Chan grabbed and squeezed Hyunjin’s hand along the way, giving him all the silent support him and Felix would need for the rest of the night.

Hyunjin had just finished carefully wrapping up Felix’s sewing kit when they all heard the front door open, Felix giving Hyunjin a shaky nod before going to see who it was. Hyunjin could only guess it was Felix’s mum, finally coming home to say a proper goodbye before Felix would be leaving.

“Come on,” Chan carefully lowered himself down onto Felix’s bed, beckoning Hyunjin over so they could sit together whilst they waited for Felix to be ready, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good,” Hyunjin managed a smile, directing it at Jeongyeon when she came to sit next to them, “I know this is a lot, but I’m so happy we’ve finally gotten here.”

“Me too,” Chan said, giving a light squeeze to Hyunjin’s shoulder, “Is Felix okay?”

“Yeah, he’s getting there,” Hyunjin nodded, “This is all really good for him, but it’s also a lot, you know? He just needs some time to process it all.”

“It’s understandable,” Jeongyeon said, tilting her head a little, “Hopefully, seeing the new place will make him happy. I heard it’s really nice.”

“It is,” Hyunjin smiled to himself as he thought about it, remembering all the praises the others had for it even if Hyunjin had never seen it, “And I know he’s excited to decorate his new room. It’s somewhere he won’t feel trapped anymore.”

“That’s perfect for him then,” Jeongyeon said, “It’s actually so amazing seeing how he’s grown over the past few weeks, he really deserves this.”

“He does,” Chan agreed, pausing for a couple of seconds before gently bumping his shoulder against Hyunjin’s, “And you, you’ve done so well during all this. He’s got a lot to thank you for.”

“Oh, trust me, it’s a struggle to get him to stop thanking me sometimes,” Hyunjin laughed, Chan snorting in response, “But we’ll get there, together. It’ll be a lot easier for us to focus on the little things once this is all over.”

“It’s not over, Hyunjin,” Jeongyeon said softly, looking up at Hyunjin with twinkling eyes, “This is all just beginning.”

Hyunjin felt his chest blossoming with warmth for the second time that day, once again hearing those words that somehow made him happier than ever. Hyunjin and Felix had gotten off to a rough start and there was so much to fix that their whole relationship had been a whirlwind so far. Not that Hyunjin would change anything, he’d loved every agonising second of it, he was just excited to have a fresh start, a fresh start where they’d be able to relax together and focus only on one another, not on all the chaos around them.

They were both ready for the new beginning.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but smile brightly when Felix shuffled back into the room, his cheeks stained with tears but his shoulders a little less tense than before, a single weight having been lifted from his shoulders giving him one less thing to carry.

“I’ve talked with mum,” he said, wiping at his face, “She’s going to come visit at the new place when she’s ready. I think we can go now.”

“Okay, Sunshine,” Hyunjin said as he got up, walking over to hand a suitcase to Felix and then picking one up for himself, knowing Chan and Jeongyeon could handle the rest, “Are you sure?”

Felix nodded, tightening his grip on the handle of the bag, “I’m sure.”

Hyunjin didn’t push it, knowing Felix usually liked to think rather than talk after his meetings with his mum and that Felix truly wouldn’t say he was ready to leave if he wasn’t.

“Alright then, lets go,” Hyunjin smiled enough for the both of them, switching his suitcase over to his left hand so he could hold Felix’s hand with his right, squeezing gently as they walked down the corridor and out the front door, Felix looking around him the whole time.

“I really don’t know if I’ll miss this place or not,” he said quietly, “I know it’s falling apart and I only really have bad memories here, but I felt something different when we moved here. This was where I was living when I met you. This was the place everything seemed to change.”

“Well, you’ll still have me no matter what,” Hyunjin said, pausing to let Felix cast one last glance inside the apartment before they walked off together, “And all this change has been good, but I’m kind of sick of it now. Maybe, it’s better you’re going to a new place where everything will be right again.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Felix nodded to himself, looking at Hyunjin with a small smile, “I’m ready for a new beginning.”

. . .

“YOU’RE HERE!”

The shout zoomed down the corridor as Hyunjin and Felix and all their suitcases clattered into Felix’s new apartment, barely making it through the front door before footsteps were rocketing towards them and Hyunjin was thrown against the wall by a pair of arms flinging themselves around him.

“ _Oof_ ,” Hyunjin grunted, ignoring Felix’s laugh from next to him as he took a few seconds to get his bearings before hugging back, “Hello, Binnie-hyung.”

“Hello Jinnie-Jinnie-Hyunjin!” Changbin cooed, squeezing extra tight for a second before he pulled away, “Everyone’s already here!”

“That’s good, I can see that you’re excited,” Hyunjin grinned, passing Changbin some bags as him and Felix grabbed their suitcases and followed Changbin down the currently-bare hallway, “Chan-hyung and Jeongyeon-noona are just grabbing a few more things, they’ll be right up.”

Changbin gave a wink and a thumbs up before turning and chattering away to Felix, talking about all the fancy things in the apartment and how they were already organising their stuff and deciding who was going to get what space.

Felix seemed overwhelmed by it all, but he followed along with a smile all the same, his eyes widening when they reached the living room and Changbin gestured for him to go in first.

“Welcome to your new home,” Changbin smiled, watching as Felix walked into the room and grinned at the sight before him.

It was full of people and bags; Minho’s and Changbin’s suitcases all over the floor with Minho’s and Changbin’s parents helping to unpack them and all the other boys laughing and exploring the room.

Felix looked like he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, his measly number of suitcases seeming like nothing compared to what Minho and Changbin had, but his face also lighting up with the joy in the room that was going to stay there for a very long time.

A giggle left Hyunjin’s lips as he stepped forward to take Felix’s hand, leading him into the room. They’d gotten so lucky to find this apartment, and even luckier with the circumstances. Minho and Changbin had both been getting tired of attending university whilst still living at home and had been looking for an apartment together for months.

The absolutely glowing opportunity for Felix hadn’t been spotted until Jisung pointed it out casually one lunch time and from then on, the green light was flashing. Changbin and Minho welcomed Felix into their arms and social workers seemed happy with the idea Felix would still be living with adults and Hyunjin was just relieved Felix would be ending up somewhere safe.

They’d been planning the move for weeks, finding a lovely place after a lot of searching and setting up a moving day as quickly as possible so Felix would have somewhere permanent to live and Changbin and Minho could settle back into university.

It seemed like none of them could believe it was finally happening.

“Felix!” Hyunjin and Felix both looked up as Minho’s voice carried over to them, Minho pulling his head out a kitchen cupboard to speed over to them, “Welcome to the Minbinlix home!”

Felix giggled as Minho pulled him into a hug, letting go of Hyunjin’s hand to wrap his arms around Minho’s shoulders, “Minbinlix, hyung?”

“Yep, that’s the three of us,” Minho said confidently, ignoring the eyerolls from Changbin and Hyunjin as he pulled away to ruffle Felix’s hair, “We’ll be as thick as thieves in this new place.”

Hyunjin watched the way Felix’s eyes practically twinkled at the words, his face screaming relief and happiness that he actually felt welcome in his new home, all of his new friends waving and chatting to him as him and Hyunjin explored the room, poking at all the kitchen cupboards and rolling around on the sofa cushions with matching smiles on their faces.

It was admittedly a very nice apartment and Hyunjin was relieved that Felix liked it too. Hyunjin knew that Felix deserved nothing but happiness and it made veins tingle with serenity to realise that Felix may be well on his way to finding it.

It was that thought that prompted Hyunjin to pull Felix into his new room, the two of them surrounded by nothing but the blank walls and a large window showing the sunset outside.

“So, Sunshine,” Hyunjin pulled Felix close to him, wrapping his arms around Felix’s waist. “What do you think?”

“It’s perfect,” Felix smiled, looking up at Hyunjin with glitter in his eyes and fairy dust on his cheeks, “I really couldn’t have asked for a better outcome to all this.”

The words almost had Hyunjin melting to the floor. After everything Felix had been through, after everything that had happened to the both of them, after all the worry and the stress and the hurt, it felt so, _so_ amazing to hear Felix say that they’d finally found their happy ending.

“You’ve got no idea how wonderful it is to hear you say that,” Hyunjin said, staring down at Felix like he was the best thing in the world… maybe he was.

“I think I’ve got a little bit of an idea,” Felix’s lips curled beautifully as he smiled, his hands tightening around Hyunjin’s hips, “I think you’ve shown me how wonderful life can be.”

Hyunjin barely had time to process how happy those words made him feel before Felix was standing up on his tiptoes to press his lips against Hyunjin’s.

The kiss startled Hyunjin, his body jolting for a second before he completely relaxed into it, leaning down so that Felix could fall down to his natural height.

Their lips moved tenderly against each other, their hands clasping one another with just the perfect amount of desperation as they continued to kiss. Hyunjin could feel the love warming against his skin, the happiness beating in his chest, the joy of having Felix in his arms burning through him as he held him.

Felix kissed back equally as fervently, all the stress and fear of the last few weeks finally leaving him as he pressed himself further against Hyunjin.

 _This_ was the happy ending they’d been running towards. _This_ was the love and romance Hyunjin had been craving for so long. _This_ was the calm, happy, perfect place they’d been looking for since everything had started.

Hyunjin pulled away gently, his lips still tingling with warmth as he slowly opened his eyes to admire the beauty of the boy clasped to him.

If a few weeks ago, when Hyunjin and his friends had been sat around the kitchen table talking about how Hyunjin liked the new kid, someone had told Hyunjin that he’d now have that very same new kid in his arms, his mouth swollen with their kisses and heart swelling with their love, Hyunjin would have laughed like a maniac.

But now, Hyunjin was cherishing Felix to him, admiring his smile and staring into his eyes as he thought about how this was the future for them now. Felix had his own place with his new friends and all the time in the world to spend with his boyfriend.

Felix was no longer the new kid with a thick black jacket and striking red hair. He was Hyunjin’s boyfriend with a thick black jacket, striking red hair and a heart of gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo... this is the end
> 
> Thank you so, so, so, sooooooooooo much to everyone who has read and loved this story. The world was in a very different state when I started writing this and I cannot even begin to explain how chaotic this writing process has been. But the story now has its ending and I am so thankful for everyone who has enjoyed it. Every kudos, comment and bookmark really has made my day, thank you from the bottom of my heart <33
> 
> I hope the ending was okay!! I know a lot of people wanted a happy ending so I hope this met expectations xx
> 
> Please stay safe and healthy. I know a lot of people are trapped at home rn so I'm trying to finish another story asap, hopefully I'll be able to finish that soon. Please wash your hands, stay inside and take care of yourselves <33
> 
> thank you again!

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @hotelfelixxie <33


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